Really bad health anxiety!

Hi all, this is my first time on here. And I know this is an old post, but I am so happy I found it via Google. I noticed there were some posts from a couple months ago, so I guess this is a very popular topic!

I didn't know health anxiety was a thing. But it's amazing how much I identify with you all and it's explaining so much. When I think of a panic attack, I think of the way TV shows and movies depict it: breathing into a paper bag sitting down with your head between your legs. I just read symptoms of one, and I may have had one earlier today. Not sure.

I read some of you have thought you had/have MS. I'm in the same boat. I feel this doom that I have cancer, a disease, something wrong with me. I go to the doctor and they say that I'm in good health. But it's like I can't believe it all. Well, I do feel great when I leave because they say I'm good, and then a day or two later the dread comes back in full swing. "There's something wrong with me. They don't understand. I have this numb feeling and I can't describe it to anyone. No one knows how I feel!"

My symptoms lately have been the faint numbness feeling on the left side of my body. It's the left side of my face, arm, hand, and even feels like my thigh or foot sometimes. I've been dealing with constipation (with blood in the stool due to a fissure [hopefully the only reason]--sorry for the TMI) for some time now, so I immediately go to Google and am sure that "I have colon cancer." I Google the numbness feeling and now "I have MS." I Google high blood pressure and now I have hypertension and will have a heart attack. I DO actually see little "flashes" in mainly the corner of my left eye. Now "I'm going to go blind" and it so happens that those with MS have the numb sensation as well as vision problems. I got a flu shot a month ago and got all this pain/numbness in my left arm so I just KNEW I was going to have a heart attack or that I have "Guillain-Barré syndrome." It's literally one thing after another. Side note: for as long as I can remember, I've always noticed that my body is clinched, not relaxed. When I was a kid I would grind my teeth when sleeping. I've even felt this slight numbness in my face before, but wrote it off. I've also never thought I was a very good "breather," as weird as that sounds. Apparently I need to relax. Easier said than done, right?!

Also, I am epileptic and was diagnosed in 2007. I'm currently 33 years old. So, that in fact, is true.

So, my spiral into doctor visits has been like this:

- Step one: Just a normal ol' OB/GYN visit for my annual exam. There's always a little anxiety here as any normal person would have. You just hope all the tests come back and say you're A-OK. Well, I get there and they say, "hmm, your blood pressure is a little high. Do you have high blood pressure?" Me: baffled, "uh, not that I'm aware of. I did just get my flu shot yesterday and my arm hurts, I also literally just ran here from another building and my heart is racing." So, they chalked it up to nerves. BTW: tests came back great, I'm ready to go.

- Step two: Day after OB/GYN, I notice my mother-in-law has a blood pressure monitor so you can check it at home. Alright, why not give it a go. They said my BP was high the day before, so let's check it out. It was HIGH. My spouse checked his and it was perfect. I checked mine over and over and over. So much that I bruised my elbow because I was doing it on a kitchen table too much I guess.

- Step three: Go to urgent care the next day because of my BP. We went to a CVS first to check it out, still high. I've NEVER had a blood pressure issue. Urgent care said, "yes, it's high, here's some BP medication." Um...what? You don't know my history and you want to put me on meds? I go to another. "It's high, yes, but let's do some lifestyle changes before we do something drastic. It's not off the charts, but I think if you change your diet and start exercising, you'll be fine. Get a physical again in a month or two and keep an eye on it." Great!

- Step four: Set up a physical for two weeks later with a nurse practitioner at a good, reputable practice. She said my BP was high-ish, but thinks it might be a nerves thing. I told her about being constipated and blood in my stool, and she said, "girl, FIBER FIBER FIBER." I told her about my numbness/pain and light flashes, and she said that sometimes with the flu shot they can strike a nerve and cause some nerve damage that can take a while to go away. For the flashes, she told me to see an eye doc or my neurologist. At the end of the visit, they took my vitals again and they were PERFECT for the first time in a while. The NP said, "yep, nerves. Try to relax and breathe." Got my blood test results back and she said I was healthy and should incorporate a better diet and exercise. Then, I look at my results and for everything that said "low" or "high," I Google and was certain I was going to have kidney failure and die. I emailed her and asked her to explain the "highs and lows" and she wrote me a long email explaining everything and said that if she felt I was in some sort of danger, she would absolutely tell me and that I shouldn't worry and to leave the worrying to her. This lifted a HUGE weight off me. After I had Googled my results (and before I saw her email), I ran to the bathroom almost in tears and called a Nephrologist (kidney doc) and a Gastro (to check out why there's blood in my stool).

**BTW: A week before my flu shot I went for my annual check up with my neurologist to chat and refill my meds, and all my vitals were good. The day I got my flu shot they took my vitals and everything was fine. The day AFTER my flu shot is when the vitals were wonky.**

- Step five: Visit the Gastro where I tell him about the blood, constipation, pain, etc. and he checks me out (VERY uncomfortable btw) and says I have a fissure (it's like a paper cut) that is breaking open when I go to the bathroom because of straining and "hard" stools. So, he tells me to start taking Benefiber and just up the ante on fiber. I'm supposed to follow up in a couple of months to see if it has healed and if there's still blood. If there is still blood and I'm healed, he thinks I should get a colonoscopy. So yeah, I pretty much think I have colon cancer.

- Step six: Eye doctor. Saw her yesterday. She said my eyes are "very, very healthy which is great," and that the flashes are the gel that connects your retina to something, etc etc, doctor stuff I don't understand. In other words, she said it's normal and happens to many people over time, they just don't see the flashes. BUT, if the flashes go crazy and I see a burst of floaters, get looked at right away because it can lead to vision loss (::crying inside:. I told her the whole run-down about what's going on with me (because I had Googled before this visit that the tingly limbs + light flashes = MS) and her first sentence was: "I recommend you see your neurologist and get an MRI to see if you have MS." O-M-G. Although I was happy to hear my eyes are healthy, this was my next spiral. I immediately called my neuro and told the nurse about the face/arm stuff and light flashes, and she said she was going to email the doctor to see if I should come in for an MRI, etc. So now, I'm confident I have MS. I've been Googling everything about MS... "can I die from it? What's the life-span? Can I have a baby and a normal life??"

This means, this past month I have self-diagnosed myself with:

- colon cancer

- probable blindness soon (due to the light flashes - possible retinal tear/detachment)

- kidney failure

- stroke

- heart attack

- Guillain-Barré syndrome (from flu shot)

- MS

- and I'm sure something else!!

On January 27th of this year (2018) I came off birth control after being on it for 11 years. My husband and I would like to start trying to conceive. Because I have epilepsy, this is a huge worry for me because it's high-risk. This attributes to my stress. I was so happy though with this whole thought of getting pregnant and hearing good feedback from my OB/GYN.

Then I got the flu shot. I don't know if it's all in my head that it has made me sick and I'll forever have these numb feelings, or if I'm creating all these issues with my self-diagnoses. Or is the coming off BC throwing me off?

I just got my blood drawn today to get my epilepsy medicine checked (you have to when you come off BC to make sure nothing is out of whack). So, in a week or so I'll find out if I need to up or lower my meds. Who knows, maybe my levels are crazy and I'm going nuts.

BUT, since I've had the blood in my stool for some time now, I'm still concerned about the possibility of colon cancer. However, since seeing the gastro doc, and him telling me I have a fissure, I've been upping the fiber and water intake and have seen a huge difference. I just hope I can keep it up and that this is the actual problem here.

I feel like I won't feel like I'm 100% OK until I get my entire body looked at. I am going to cancel my appointment with the kidney doc (it's in April) because I think that is legitimately crazy and an overreaction to my results (especially since the NP explained the levels that all related to my kidneys) and just keep a watch on my body over all.

As I'm typing this, my left side of my face is still slightly numb, as well as my arm/hand. I'm currently wearing gauze over my right arm where my blood was drawn because I'm scared if I take it off it'll start bleeding. When I was done getting my blood drawn, I almost bled through the gauze--in which case, I had to go back and get new gauze. The Phlebotomists was like, "are you on a blood thinner? What meds do you take?" etc etc... then he wipes over where the blood was drawn (with an alcohol wipe maybe?) and I'm thinking... is it OK that he just did that?! Will I get some kind of infection? Wait, did he wear gloves the second time when he reapplied the gauze/tape?!!?

Then it hits me... this has to be some sort of anxiety thing. This is a problem. I Google "numbness in face and arm anxiety" where I was met with loads of people asking the same thing. Huge relief. Please, God, let all of this be anxiety and that I don't have colon cancer, or MS, or who knows what. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. Even though I don't want to have anxiety, I feel like knowing that THAT'S what it is, will help so much.

I hope to see my neuro soon to talk about this feeling and everyyyyything else that's going on with me, and schedule that MRI.

Y'all, pray for me. Lol. I'm going to do breathing exercises and repeat "I'm OK" about a million times over and over while I listen to sounds of the oceans... I guess. If you read this far, thanks so much <3 Feels good to get all that out.

I really don't have too much time (I'm at work) to address this, so if anyone has questions, feel free to ask. 

But it's hard for me to sit here and read the commenters who constantly repeat "just trust your doctor" and "don't Google." Every body is slightly different... and I know my body better than any stranger ever could, even if he or she is a doctor. Period! If I hadn't had a healthy skepticism of all my doctors when I had the same types of symptoms you guys have, then I would have [u]never[/u] gotten the correct diagnosis.

They told me it was all in my head or that I was depressed and wanted to put me on powerful antidepressants (often with no tests being run at all!) Google did absolutely help me! It lead me to a diagnosis that ended up being correct! I was tenacious and didn't give up (even though I often wanted to). I didn't believe the docs who told me I was seeking attention or imagining these symptoms. No, doctors did not like it when I came in with an informed opinion, but, you know what? I couldn't care less! Its my health, my life, my body. I'm the one at risk. The only thing they would risk is their pride!!

Medical professionals are often severely overworked, under supported by their institutions, and surprisingly undereducated (in that they've become too specialized, and lack broad, outside-the-box knowledge). They don't even know what to look for much of the time unless you are a textbook case of some disease. And ultimately, "heath care" no longer exists in this country as a whole... only a health industry... a capitalistic cog in the machine.

And here is where my own research led me, a correct and confirmed diagnosis for which I have received care from a specialist for almost 14 years now. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE check this out for yourselves, regardless of whether your doctors think you have it or not...

... Dysautnomia/Mitral Valve Prolapse Syndrome. It is a dysfunction of the autonomic nervous system. The sympathetic & parasympathetic branches no longer communicate together well nor regulate multiple involuntary systems correctly. Feelings like anxiety, or even diabetic symptoms are common, even though you may not actually have anxiety or diabetes. You likely have an abnormal resting heart rate and body temperature. You cannot utilize energy correctly, leading to chronic fatigue. All this and more is regulated by the ANS (autonomic nervous system).

You cannot control it, or force it to change. You cannot "will yourself" better. It is a real autoimmune condition (of which, interestingly, fibromyalgia is related). Typical tests are tilt-table, EKG (although they may be normal), and an ultrasound of the heart. Demand (yes, demand!) these tests and demand that you have this condition looked into. If you read about it, many people go misdiagnosed (as it sounds like many of you have) for years due to general medical incompetence regarding this condition.

Perhaps some of you do actually have anxiety. But don't you owe it to yourselves to check out every possibility? To see if there's more to the story?

Good luck to you all.

Lol oh Jo, you sure made me laugh! And trust me when I say it was definitely a well needed distraction from the fact my heart feels as though it is literally thumping it’s way out of my chest like I am some kind of anime cartoon character who has just fallen in love. 

This is my first post, on any website forum. I had the urge to join just so I could share my experiences. 

I too, like almost everyone on here so far have been suffering from extreme health anxiety for many years. I am 31 years old and from as far back as I can recall I always assumed a simple headache was a brain tumour, even as a young child. 

I have noticed that as I get older the anxiety is worsening, at an accelerated level. 

Just this past year alone I have believed I have been dying from the following diseases: 

- Heart failure (heart palpitations, irregular heart beat and being overly aware of the beating of my heart while trying to fall asleep)

- Kidney failure / cancer or bladder cancer  (due to an acid/PH urinalysis home testing kit which I was undoubtably abusing and oneday happened to show a slightly abnormal result - my urine was too “alkaline” and had a reading of 8.0 instead of the normal 7.0 - 7.5)

- Stroke / heart attack (tingling and numbness in arm and toes as well as occasional migraine headache)

- Colon cancer (just because I’ve always suffered from chaotic digestive issues & inconsistent bowel movements - constipated or flying off the toilet) 

- Cervical cancer / endometriosis / uterine cancer (irregular sometimes painful periods and occasional bloating/cramps)

- Liver failure & diabetes (because I went through a stage of obsessively checking my tongue every morning before brushing my teeth and believed that certain colourings and markings on my tongue meant that I had certain illnesses - I urge you all to not google!!! ) 

- Lung cancer (a sharp pain I was having in my upper middle-right back which turned out to more likely be attributed to muscle building weight lifting exercises I had just recently started at the gym) 

- Breast cancer (itchy boob) 

The list could go on and on. I can’t seem to escape this madness, and while I know that logically it makes no sense for an otherwise ordinarily pretty healthy 31 year old female to have any of the above mentioned diseases it’s almost as though the logic and doctors opinion and test results are only good enough to calm me for a couple of days before my subconscious mind starts to search for the next thing that’s surely going to take me out, health wise. 

I am terrified of dying, I think that’s what it ultimately comes down to. I even panic over my beautiful 5 year old healthy beagle’s health too, I often catch myself stroking her back or belly in an attempt to uncover any potential lumps and bumps and I have rushed her up to the emergency vets on more than one occasion after getting myself in a panic thinking her nose wasn’t wet enough or a mole looked suspicious, etc etc I am sure by now you all understand the madness! 

Anyway reading all of these posts tonight and writing this has given me some slight relief from the onslaught of various symptoms I was experiencing just before I took to google search the cause of my timely demise earlier this evening. 

I should probably seek professional help. Wish me luck. 

Hello to everyone. 

In order to clarify all the confusion that engulfs everyone who is currently suffering from GAD or health anxiety I can safely validate this that as I'm in the process of documenting this post I am experiencing a slight panic attack and breathing difficulty and some sort of discomfort.

I'm 29 years old. Living in Athens, Greece and 2 years ago I had everything on the tip of my finger.

I am working for a multinational advertising agency, had pretty much everything I needed in life although I was stressful since birth. A life full of joy, fun and adventure. Friends, lots of women ( please don't mock me there's a reason I'm writing all of this itty bitty info.  

2 years ago I bumped my head in a cabinet, had something of a soft concussion. Nothing extraordinary. 3 days later I woke up with severe clutter headache. A sense of pressure, weight in my forehead, eyes, nose even mouth some days. 

Mind you this was 24/7. No breaks, no early check-outs. 24/7 all day, everyday. For 2 gruesome years. Still standing. 

Mind you again that Greece has highly qualified doctors and medical facilities ranking them amongst the greatests and most efficient in the world.

My complete medical exams as of now, 2 years and 3 days after, are a mixture of: a CT 3 days after, MRI 15 days after. Both clean. Had a second MRI about two months ago. None.

4 Blood tests, 2 urine tests, 2 triplex heart tests, 1 lungs CT (obvious reason) 2 exams of gastroscopy, 1 neck x ray, 1 testicles x ray, 4 visits/tests in 3 different neurologists and ONLY 1 VISIT TO A PSYCHOLOGIST/THERAPIST (SHAME SHAME SHAME)

Along with the feeling of having something terminal (tumour, cancer, plague, divers' disease) I had other symptoms as well. Joint pains, muscle tensions & pain, blurred vision, eye pain, short breath, spastic movement, fear, fatigue, more fear, inability to think, focus, foggy mind, insomnia, derealisation, tremor, armpits pain when touched, numerous digestive issues. And along with all those beautiful feelings I also had oulitis, or inflammation of the gum, common you may think. On the contrary I had been spiting blood and a series of liquids close to the orange colour. These were mainly from the digestion problems I was experiencing. A process called Palindromisis. However I was convinced that I was spitting blood because I had terminal cancer along with the brain tumour related to my cluster/tension headaches. A poor diagnosis in my gum related problem led me to believe that. Just 1 week ago it was confirmed that it was oulitis. Thanks a bunch for the first failed test on me doc.

Nowadays and 2 years after all this rather uncomfortable situation I had overcome most of my issues and psychosomatic tribulations but a new challenger arrived to claim this poor soul.

Heart palpitations. I always had them. Big deal I thought. But no. This time of year this was not the case. 

I had experienced a new form of heart palpitations. A more mature one. A newly developed. 

I thought my heart was dying, shutting down as I was feeling a burning sensation in the left part of my chest and neck. Inbalance, fear, this is how it ends right? 

Skipping beats, slow beats, fast paced beats. All this in a crazy run. BY GOD JIM I had the fear of God in me. 

I'm feeling uneasy and I'm currently experiencing palpitations as I write this. I begin this as a sort of self-cleansing but I also though it could help a poor-struggling soul. 

YOU HAVE NOTHING WRONG. YOUR WORST FEARS ARE MANIFESTING INSIDE YOU. FOOLING YOUR BODY. FOOLING YOU. YOU 'RE NOT DYING. YOUR SANITY IS. KEEP CALM. AVOID TOXIC PEOPLE. AVOID TOXIC LIFE. BREATHE IN. BREATHE OUT. EMBRACE YOURSELF. LET PEOPLE KNOW. MAKE THEM UNDERSTAND. IF NOT, F**K THEM. DITCH THEM OUT. KEEP CALM. TAKE A BIG BREATH IN. LET IT ALL OUT. 

DO YOU SEE THE END OF THE TUNNEL? NO! 

IT'S NOT YOUR TIME YET. 

LIVE LIFE.