really worried about my behaviour!Pls someone spk to me????

Glad you've calmed down, yes you can do it. Anything is possible, and it will be fun along the way, thats the way you have to look at it mate.

1st off its nice to see someones see's what i see when reading this self pittying attention seeking stuff.....to be polite.......i try not to think about past but try to always look to the future but i need BAD GIRL to appreciate what she has and wake up watch the news we are blessed in this country to many people take it for granted. you have to get up off your bum and work hard to get things in this life they don't drop in your lap there is no father christmas or knight in shinning armour. I was raped at 9 years old, never told no one until a few years ago, problems down below and depression tried every pill under the sun got into violent relasionships one after another, health problems with no explanation, started drinking heavily at 10 years old useing speed ecstacy ketamin skunk and solids at the age of 13 partying up the west end nearly every night raped again by three men at 17 still in violent relasionships drank and took drugs including crack cocaine at this stage, was a dancer in islington and was killing myself for years getting beatings of blokes hassle great life then after years of going to doctors for down below bits found out i had endometriosis and it had back up tissue cists and scars all over the lower abdomen they had to cut it away because thats all they can do there is no cure it just keeps growing and bleeding inside the body and causes infertiliy pain and have to have continuos op's because it was misdiagnosed for so long it had already damaged a lot , so was told probably won't have kids. still abusing drink & drugs but working an office job still in abusive relasionships went to score and was grabbed i was 23 at this stage was attacked badly and raped again dropped miles away from home hitched a ride home from an old couple rang police but because i was recked treated me like shit told me they were taking me to a safe house to be examined told to get out of the car and they drove off leaving me about ten miles away from home i was single at the time found a phone box 1 in the morning phoning the police when door flung back two blokes tried to get me but i got away and ran got in front of a van he looked like my dad he took me home this is still not sorted to this day and have had hypnotherapy to help with flash backs. got into another controlling relasionship ended up in hospital from std would'nt leave me alone behind my front door begging him to leave me alone while waiting for the police he kicked in my glass door severed my ankle ligaments tendon 3 operations am on crutches. while passed got with i thought nice bloke bit paranoid then fell pregnant the day i found out i did three tests went home chucked my smoke down the toilet and gave up everything drugs drink ect. he turned nasty was alcaholic chucked him out he broke i was six months pregnant when he broke in tied me to the bed beat me raped me burnt me broke a broom stick over the side off my head three days and nights this went on for police broke in with my mum who had'nt herd from me in hospital for a while with among other things a damaged spine where he jumped on me how i don't know but my baby was ok, they could'nt find him went into hiding through the courts got moved miles away from family into my first council shithole flat three floors up no lifts on crutches they said if i did'nt take it i would be taken off the list but it would be temporary. it was hell on earth above and below partys fights ect ect hell two and half years on to the council my mp doctors health visitor to get me out of there the council hated me every day i would ring send supporting letters. mum would get three buses there and 3 back 4 times a week i got my councellour involved and the local papers i was disabled but getting know disability so was fighting them in tribunals then a place finally came up across the rd from my mum i rang the housing officer and begged and pleaded got fobbed offthen i got a call and i was lucky the people shown round were moan

Someone above advised going off Citalopram.

It's not a good idea.

You can get really bad withdrawal symptoms from suddenly going off Citalopram. I recently had over a week off it and it was not good.

I forgot that the doctor had told me that you have to see the doctor if you are going to go off it. Now, a doctor has given me a new prescription and told me I have to make an appointment well in advance to renew the Citalopram and I can not miss even one day, as the effects can be very bad if you have been taking it.

You really NEED to go and see your doctor and tell the doctor of the really bad way you have been in recently and tell the doctor that you need help.

It's really serious - if you collapsed in the street and had to have help to get you home, you need someone to come out and see you.

And then your problems with not being able to go to work (that's fine and normal when you are sick, don't worry, no-one expects you to work when you are sick, a sick person cannot do their job and would only cause problems).

You just need to telephone your surgery and tell them that you need help, telling them what happened. Tell them that you need someone to come out and help you.

They ought to get a home help nurse, with some psychiatric experience and particularly with persons who are depressed, to come and visit you who should first of all help you deal with the pressing problems you have.

They'll like make sure your employers know what is happening and that they don't expect you to come and you are alright with that. You can't lose your job if you are sick, even for weeks. And then about getting enough money for your immediate concerns - like taking a bus or immediate payments that you need to make.

It is likely that a nurse would come out to see you once a day or so. Certainy you can ask for that - there are caring nurses ready who will do that, and social workers with similar training - they will decide which one should see you, but they both would do more or less the same thing.

You just need to telephone your surgery, and even the receptionist should be able to get in touch with someone to come out and see you very soon, and also then, they should inform the doctor about your bad experiences.

Make sure to say that you need someone to come and see you. Your position is definitely more serious than a case of you just going along to the doctor every so often.

It does happen that people suffering from depression NEED to have a visitor in the weeks when they are starting a new anti-depressant drug, because their behaviour or feelings are too off course, and because it is not enough just to visit the surgery every so often.

After that, when the patient seems to have adjusted to the drug, or when a new drug has to be given and that goes O.K., it is usually arranged for the patient to go to see the doctor every two days or once a week, when it's not necessary for a home visitor anymore.

But make sure to phone your surgery and tell them, so that this can happen, because it's really important. Take care. If you're still feeling nearly as bad, make sure to let others take care of you.

Gussy, What a life you have had, i was glued to your post, and it sounds like like you have come so far, and done so well. Although a sad life, you have shown so much courage and strength! Ever thought about writing a book? Or is it something you would prefer to be forgotten? You life definately gives inspiration to those who are living in self pity. Anything is possible and life can turn itself around but you have to make it. Well done and no doubt your little boy will grow up with the same strength you have, he has a good role model as a mum.

G.M.C, I dont think BadGirl is taking her tablets correctly anyways, and she is drinking heavily at the same time anyways. Your advice is good, but isnt something she hasnt heard before as I said the same thing to her a few months ago, the sound advice she is given goes in one ear and out the other. She will hopefully wake up one day and realise she has to make the change, then again maybe she wont. Some people just dont have the drive or determination to make a difference in their life. I feel BadGirl is just seeking attention, and wants someone to help her but we can't help her on here.

BadGirl, Does any of these posts make you realise you need to have the inner strength to get through this rough time?

Im totally confused by it. How can guessy get through all this???????? I thought she had her bits cut away, so she couldnt have a child-its so bad Guessy I am having a really tough time believing it-but at the same time, if your life story is true than I admire you for getting through it, ths oe words-something.. I wouldnt be brave enough to write it on here-to tel you the truth from what ive read you really should not-your story is bad, but if I were to tell you similar things, I would not do so so holistically, people can work things out and do worse.

So guessy whike you are trying to help me, im trying to help yo...Ok this hiorrible god awful stuff happened, but only tell people you can really really trust-dont fire it out and let everyone know-its not a goood idea!!!!!!!!!!!

G.M. C. Im not that bad, but iM having a tough time with my meds now. I confidently went on meds and last month tried to go on repeat prescription, thinking I could go alone, and not annoy my GP. Here I am not knowing wether to put one in my mouth or not. So confused!!!! Physically im better too-I think it was the festive blues!!!!! I look back and think than god, im not so sore. Still get bad stomach pains, but not sure what they are.

I felt shocked reading Guessy stories, but in no way surprised. Sorry, but whilst her story is bad-there are worse, and there are better, but like I said earlier, we all have different make up and we all have different capacities to cope. What has happened to you, isnt really what it is about/its about your own capabilities, understanding that you can cope with this, but cant cope with that, is where people should watch the fine lines. Im telling you, Ive watched families loose children and get through it, and watched others loose fingers. or get frustrated by there painted chipped nails that they end up shivering and shaking in a corner somewhere. So sorry when i comes to mental health, a story doent wash with me, idf you are feeling unwell, then thats whats you are=and its not for wnat of wanting to help yourself either, its when that help you give yourself fails, that you need help. Ok, Im rambling now. Guessy I know you want me to give myself a shake, I allready have. I have moments off dont give up, to giving up puking and shutting down completely....and its not for want ing to be better, its just the way Im reacting to this situation,. Yes, I drink, but not as much as before, and I would say its slightly more controlled, but abstinence will be there when only I can be alone and feel level. Ok. Right Ive said enough...im not bad today, but not great either..Take care everyone.

Guessy-sorry-your story is ROUGH!!! Good on you for moving on!

Ive had such bad back pain today and yesterday that I cant get out of my pjs.. have to freeze it-its the oonly way to get rid of the pain. Its as though Im having a baby without the bum. but so tired of fighting the pain-not taking citalopram for 2 days now-CANT GO BACK O IT NOW!!! Im scared! Scared my panic will come back too!! Does anyone else get so fear ridden ( I call it startled bunny rabbit syndrome) that you cant move, Your body stops and your like a stiff thing i n fearful thought-does anyone else get this???? Do I make sense to anyone? Then people just zzzooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmm past you, slmos like a big smiley happy person skipping joyfullt along ...and there I am standing with tears rolliling down my cheeks-no ide ahwere it came from, why it started loose my balance, chest tightens I get a lump in my throat....I get worse as I think I acant breathe start choking star gaggin---wore as people take the odd look but walk past like you have injected some amphetamines into your arm righ tn front of them, anyway, they just walk past and then you wonder why you are getting worse, Then and only then , you realise...Im the only person that knows what I am feeling ...there is nothing wrong. You wipe the tears the spit and almost as though you are in complete shock, Let go of whatever it was you were holding on and legs shake as those youve peaed yourself, ..Slowly oyou start to walk it away...and then 5 minutes later you laughing about it ( thinking what was that?????????????????????????????)Artfg!!!!!! I dont know what to do!!!!

Em-I think my back pain is due to liver inflamation. Its really sore.Im hoping water will shift this. i can feel my liver, it hurts as does the rest of my body. Im sure Ive got hep c, or something or maybe Ive causght a weird disease from my cat. Im wondering if thats why I have difficulty dojng the dishes in the kitchen ( ha ha) or wehether im allergoc to the fairy liquid whatever it is its weird and I feel shattered.maybe iits because christmas was so rough and I didnt stop Ive finished college uni for a month and the kids are back at school -maybe its physical breakdown. Or maybe it was those pills I took the other day Thats when it started i tokk a coule of something that began with N..Nurofen and I knew I had problems, the last time I took that pishy pill i threw up everywhere

You really need to see your doctor. Any decent doctor will make time to see someone with the kind of thoughts you're experiencing. Do you have a drop-in centre in the area? Or a casualty dept? You really can't just stop taking citalopram suddenly. If you're going to stop you need to taper the dose down over several weeks and have good advice whilst you're doing it. You might need something else to help with any effects.

to bad girl when replying to someones experience make sure to read it properly. I would'nt expect u to know about endometriosis it is not a common disese, but it causes infertility it is rare so not much is known about it. I did not say i had a hysterectomy...read up about it before u comment. believeable or not i can't say it really bothers me if u do think what i'm saying is true I was trying to point out that everyone has problems but that dosen't mean u have to sit there feeling sorry for yourself just get up and sort it out. just on your comment about telling everyone my problems, it is so easy to tell complete strangers who don't know me from adam but i am actually a very private person and even my freinds i have known for years don't know the in's and out's of my life. I have among other things suffered with servere panic attacks from a very young age. still got on with life though. I have acheived many things including running a home for the mentally ill, training to be a nurse reserch is my thing really i never finished my nurseing training because i fell ill and could'nt bare to go back to the continuous abusive uncaring attitude i saw going on so much it was heartbreaking. But my reserch goes on if i had'nt done what i have i would not have been diagnosed with sod all. ASK your doctor for the atenolol it dosen't do your head in it stops the panic attacks dead then you have just got to get used to a life with out the panic attacks this will take off some of the constant panic depression that goes along with it you might even be able to get up and do insted of sit and wine. life is harsh get used to it you just got to appreciate what u have got not let it get on top of you and drag you down.

You have problems that can be sorted take my advice and please give yourself a good kick up the bum look in the mirror long and hard look into your eyes and ask yourself am i really who i want to be.

coming off citalopram and taking atenolol will help with the panic after stopping the citalopram ask your doctor for it and he will tell you just to stop taking them and start taking the atenolol straight away.

Nurses do not have the time to come out and see every tom dick or harry who is feeling sorry for themselves after getting over a hangover of drink and pills you can ring for advice but it will just come down to getting to the doctors and sorting it out.

You are not bad enough to have that sort of attention and if you were you certainly would not be left alone with your kids not now a days. think about what your saying and tell me should someone who wants to kill herself and is going on like this really a responsable parent ? there are people out there would kill to have kids, and some who would kill for a roof over there heads in this bitter cold. get some perspective in life get dressed and sort it.

to melissa, i don't mind what i've been through it has made me a wiser stronger person and if what i've been through can help someone else then great. and thank you for your comments you sound like u have your head screwed on right also lol ttfn