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Roundabout !

Posted , 13 users are following.

OOOOOOO
OOOOOOO

Help !..... except Joanna....too tough for me. I cannot take that dimension of "help".  I am a very sick person.  This journey is killing me.  Back off, to anyone who feels less than VERY KINDLY.  I am a very sick person.  I try to be kindly to others in this HELL of a situation, with alcohol.  I cannot post what I really wanted to say.....because I cannot cope, again. 

0 likes, 40 replies

40 Replies

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  • PaulJTurner1964
    PaulJTurner1964 OOOOOOO

    Posted

    Alonangel. You have Alcohol use Disorder which is a physical illness and can be treated medically. While it is not your fault that you have this illness, it IS your responsibility to find a solution because nobody can force one on you that would work.

    Joanna, like most people here has been there and used that medical help and has great knowledge of how to make it work. Don't dismiss her as too tough because she is simply trying to get you to see that this IS in your control if you can do things the right way.

    I have seen MANY people with this condition feel totally helpless like you but the problem with allowing that to take over is that you push aside all possible solutions and you are worth more than that. You deserve a better life and, while some things you need to do to get it will be tough, the rewards of overcoming your issues will be massive.

    Kindness is not 'allowing you to fall apart and then sympathising' but making sure that you are armed with the tools to fight and win. Having said that, as you see from the other comments here, people will give you support while you go through your difficult journey, including Joanna and me.

    • OOOOOOO
      OOOOOOO PaulJTurner1964

      Posted

      Thank you...and Thank you to Joanna as well, but I am not well. I have many, many problems.  I can't cope. I can't take "tough love".  I know how I am.  I know the solutions. I have the ingredients...I just can't "bake the cake"!  Please do not patronise me. You have not suffered this torture. I am in HELL on earth.  I can't stand it. I do not want to be a victim of addiction. I have let everyone in my life, down. I have destroyed myself.  I do not know who I am, anymore. Please, tread carefully among the dreadfully damaged. We are beyond fragile...I wish I was dead .....lots of times..... but I'm too scared about death to go there !
    • patricia44773
      patricia44773 OOOOOOO

      Posted

      You cannot accuse anyone of patronising you, that is a step too far.  Did you see how many times you said the word "I" in your posts?  Perhaps you  should consider that you are not the only one who has "suffered this torture".  Nobody can help you whilst you have such a selfish attitude.  Sorry, I know you only wanted to hear "poor you" posts, but there are too many people on here who would benefit from your support and understanding.  Paul and Joanna are amazing people who give so much of themselves, it hurt me to hear you criticising them. 

      I hope you come through this terrible time, I hope everyone who feels the need to post on this forum comes through the Hell on earth that you describe.

      Pat

    • OOOOOOO
      OOOOOOO patricia44773

      Posted

      You are not helpful.  You have no idea what "I wanted to hear".  I did not know, myself.  You are not helpful. Why are you posting? To upset the upset people desperate for help? How can I tell my problems without "I" in the mix?  I have tried to help and advise others on this Forum. Who are you, to judge me? You are not helpful. Your attitude could be read as selfish and cruel. How sick are you?
    • OOOOOOO
      OOOOOOO patricia44773

      Posted

      You are not helpful. You have no idea what I might want to hear. I cannot describe my feelings without using "I". This Forum is about exchanging feelings and helping each other. Or, so I thought.  You are not helpful. What exactly is SELFISH about my attitude. I have tried to help and advise others. They have thanked me for that. Are you the Paul and Joanna Fan Club Rep.? They are not sick. They are experts in their field. I am very sick. I am at a disadvantage.  What is your problem?  You are not helpful.  I will be leaving this Forum. I am not well enough to take abuse.
    • colin30375
      colin30375 PaulJTurner1964

      Posted

      Hi Paul,

      I'm sorry but my experience tells me that some need to follow a pragmatic approach, some people need a harsh approach and some people need to fall apart as part of the learning process. Alonangel seems to be a little better having read the following posts. I'm happy to see.

      In the post I read, Alonangel wanted sympathy; I know what you're saying but sympathy shouldn't be excluded unless it's part of a repeating pattern.

      My view based on experience. 

       

  • Paper_fairy
    Paper_fairy OOOOOOO

    Posted

    Hi Aonangel. Really sorry to hear you are struggling. I know how hard this is but don't give in. Can you remember last week when I was really struggling and moaning, felt like giving up, felt really depressed and like the flu.? You were really kind and supportive with your comments. You and many others. So thanks for that as it helped me when I was in a horrible place. Now I'm feeling much better. I've even been for a swim today! I know it's working as I haven't drunk for 2 days. The hangover, withdrawals, were no where near as severe as previously when I've binged. Only lasted until ystd evening. This is because I'm not drinking as much now as when I used to, because the drug is working. Normally I can't get out of bed for 3 days!! And really horrendously sick. So just keep going and you will get there in the end.

    As everyone says you have to spoil yourself  with food, rest and sleep. 

    Really hope you have a better day tomorrow. Sending you lots of hugs xx

    • OOOOOOO
      OOOOOOO Paper_fairy

      Posted

      Thank you, my dear Paper fairy.  You are a lovely, friendly, good person.  I have just lost focus, on it all, over and over again.  I am SICK OF IT !  SO, SO  SICK !!!

      The alcohol is not working.  I have tried, despite the tablet, today.  This level of reality is difficult.  I am getting a result from medication.....now freaking with that. 

      What on earth do we do when we can't deal with this stage.  I should feel good about this progress.  I think I am just looking for a substitute .....and chocolate is not it !

      Why do I need a substitute? Sorry about this .....I am sooooo sick !

    • Misssy2
      Misssy2 OOOOOOO

      Posted

      Oh my....you are really hurting sad.

      ​If you don't feel totally comfortable posting right now....you can private message me at any time.

       

  • Paper_fairy
    Paper_fairy OOOOOOO

    Posted

    We are all very sick, that is why we drink. No one is judging you, I think like you when I'm so depressed, as you are today. Some people do get tough with us, they only want to help. I can't take it when people are tough with me about my drinking. We are just too sensitive and can't take it, it's just the way we are made. Please don't take it to heart, we all want to help you get better. And you will..I have faith in you ❤️
  • odishon
    odishon OOOOOOO

    Posted

    I don't really understand your posts on here as they seem to only seek attention and not actual real help. Looking at previous discussions you were offered FREE chats from Joanna so you could truly understand Selincro and get it working for you. That would mean you could speak each week about how it was going and what you could do to help it.

    But no, you just keep coming back and saying how awful it is for you. Well welcome to the club, that's why we are all here.

    Have a think about trying Selincro properly with help from people who know exactly what they are talking about. More time spent doing that and less time berating those who are actually trying to help and you never know, things may actually improve for you.

    • OOOOOOO
      OOOOOOO odishon

      Posted

      Why are you contacting me, now?

      I am not berating anyone. I can have an opinion. This was my first try on a Forum.  I thought it was an open exchange of feelings. Some types of help are not suitable for some types of people.  We are individuals.  I am going to leave this Forum, now. People like you and patricia4473 have ruined it for me. Back to going it alone. Watching out for Devils.

    • ADEfree
      ADEfree odishon

      Posted

      I don't think she was berating anyone, Odishon. Somedays a person is just shattered and it all looks like a jumbled mess, everything causes internal thrashing. No logic or reason from the inside or from the outside helps. It will only last for a while, then it will pass. 
    • odishon
      odishon ADEfree

      Posted

      Maybe berating isn't the best word but the help being offered was being publicly criticised and the people offering the help were being asked not to comment. You put yourself on a forum you can't ask only people who are prepared to say 'poor you' to comment.

      I've had depression all my life, I know what dark times are like. I just tend not to go attention seeking when times are like that.

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