Scan Anxiety - wonky periods, ultrasound fear
Posted , 10 users are following.
Hi - I am 45 and in January of this year I had a period that spotted at the end for over a week, hormone testing showed menopause, blood test six weeks later showed normal FSH levels. So deduced the spotting was perimenopause. I have had regular periods all year but they are different, sometimes heavy, sometimes spotting a lot before or after. They just don't 'flow' the same. Cycle lengths also vary, from my previous normal of 25/26 to 21, 37, 24, 25 and a couple that were only 17/18 days apart.
After the last short gap and a heavier flow, I got a bit worried and went to the GP to tell her, she said it is typical of perimenopause to see this pattern but also useful to check there aren't any structural reasons for irregular bleeding and to have a transvaginal ultrasound. I have this coming up this week.
I was fine about it until today and now I am a nervous wreck, worried out of my mind what they will find and just feel so vulnerable about the scan itself.
I am no good at gynae things, I have not had children and the whole thing brings up feelings of naievity and a sense 'there is something wrong with me'. I know this is irrational because at the end of the day the Dr is just checking that perimenopause hormonal stuff is the cause and I should be relieved if it is and that will help but...........I can't stop worrying.
I have only had a transvaginal exam once, about 15 years ago, it wasn't pleasant, only because I was scared when the personal scanning told me she couldn't find an ovary, then she did, that they were healthy but I had a mass on my uterus which was a fibroid. At the time I didn't know what that was all about and she wouldn't tell me - the DR then explained a week later that it was on the outside and nothing to worry about. I have also had two burst ovarian cysts in my life and a cervical polyp which was removed a couple of years ago.
Basically anything unknown scares me and language and procedures that I feel I should understand, but I don't. I have been reading about the higher chance of uterine cancer, ovarian cancer etc after mid 40's and scared myself wondering if the bleeding can be any of these and imagining that the scan will reveal 'bad' news and what will come next. Basically I feel out of control with all the unknowns and am sure I am over anxious as the majority of scans don't reveal serious things.
The Dr mentioned the possibility of uterine polyps or fibroids, the first might need removing and the second they would leave as they tend to shrink after menopause.
Seriously, I need some logical thoughts to hold onto here, I am just terrified of bad news and the person saying or looking a certain way during the scan and either saying something or me thinking the worst etc.
I have had several traumatic events in my life where I thought all was well and it turned out not to be - not with me, but my family and realise that this has left a mark on me, thinking that this is generally what happens. Bad news comes out of the blue when you think all is well and 'normal'.
Honestly the thought of the whole thing feels so alien to me, I am ready to avoid doing it - which I won't. Can someone share with me how routine this is and perhaps if my bleeding pattern is anything to worry about because I really didn't think it was. It is still sort of cyclical but definately different.
Feeling so scared and also stupid. How can I be a grown woman with these irrational fears
1 like, 29 replies
Beetle1965
Posted
This is all a nightmare - the Dr did understand the anxiety associated with not knowing what was normal or not. I guess things need to be checked to decide! I so hope this is all over soon, it's causing havoc with stress.
elaine68190 Beetle1965
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sharon07214 Beetle1965
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you are being brave by going for medical advise and investigation. Keep it up. You will be relieved in the end.
Beetle1965 sharon07214
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susan556 Beetle1965
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What you have described hear is just how i was before i hit proper menapause so dont worry. as for the transvaginal exam well ive had two of these, granted i have had kids, you do not say if you are in a relationship or not, but say you have had one of these before, so next time should be easier, i found this just uncomfortable but not painfull in anyway and its soon over so just relax. Your doctor is just being thorough to rule out anything else which im 99% sure wont be anything except what doctor has already told you perimenapause.
Only natural to feel scared but your not in anyway stupid at all. Being a grown woman brings with it the changes both phsyically and emotionally dont forget. I think what we have to contend with we allowed to feel anxious and concerned, sure your be ok. let us know how it all goes
Sue
Beetle1965 susan556
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I am not in a relationship right now, which is another concern for the procedure. Oh goodness, can't wait until it's done.
susan556 Beetle1965
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J0J0 Beetle1965
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The reason I decided to respond is you seem so scared and stressed about it all, I wanted to offer you support and send you ((hugs)). Everyone here seems so helpful and caring, you are not alone, please keep us updated and if you just need to chat let me know
Beetle1965 J0J0
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J0J0 Beetle1965
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Zigangie Beetle1965
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Yeah the periods do start doing strange things. From my early 40 mine became very light compared to what they were and went from always 7 sometimes 8 days to 5 and sometimes only 4.
At this time I also went from tampons to towels as there was often so little flow that removing tampons became a tug of war.
Then at about 47 ish maybe 48 I began to miss one here and there and the one after the miss would be heavier. Mine were not too bad for being at the right time eg. If I missed one the next came when expected.
The months I missed I also got really hot the week they were due. My doctor did a blood test and said I was in peri.
Then between age 50 to 51 I only had 3 or 4 periods. I had had none for six months after being 51 and was suffering some depression awful insomnia and feeling too hot all the time. I tried siberian ginseng. This started up my periods again I took it for about 4 months and although as I say my periods came back in a normal way it didn't help with the other symptoms at all. As soon asi stopped taking it my periods stopped and I didn't get another one.
I was just generally too hot with 2 or 3 proper hot flushes per day.
I got a lady magnate which worked well for the flushes and I think I felt maybe a little calmer but still with terrible insomnia.
I also didn't want sex. I had always thought never mind if I don't want it I will never turn my husband down.
Well how wrong was that? I didn't want to know, not only was the whole thing a chore but it was also so frustrating. With him trying to please me and me just wanting it over with. So sore and dry no matter how much lubrication we used.
I had wanted to do the menopause naturally but it was the lack of enjoyment of sex that saw me at the doctors. I'm so glad I did I have had much improved sex life. I am sleeping much better. A few niggle aches and pains have improved.
Hope this helps. Hope all is well with your investigations.
Beetle1965 Zigangie
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helen64949 Beetle1965
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Beetle1965 helen64949
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I am one of those people that if I have an explanation, I feel better about things. I am glad to be reminded that the ultrasound probe isn't like a speculum - thanks
lennie45832 Beetle1965
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Beetle1965 lennie45832
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It's a bit contradictory isn't it - I'm with you all the way in your desire to overcome this as much as possible. I feel very similar - torn between running and actually facing things.