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Scared

Posted , 6 users are following.

Dondons3
Dondons3

I'm so anxious about work tomorrow I really don't want to go, I didnt go today as I was just not well at all but if I don't go tomorrow I fear I'll lose my job, my doctors and counsellor have said I could/should Sign on the sick due to my depression, anxiety and Asthma but I don't really want to, I want a bit of normality in my life, want to feel I'm worth something! Also being a single mum of 5 which don't get me wrong I love all my babies to bits but sometimes I want to be Donna and not just mummy, hope that makes sense?

It's just getting harder and harder lately to go to work and it's making me ill worrying about it, don't really know why I'm writing this guess maybe hoping someone can relate? 

I don't want to come across like I'm just work shy cos I'm not it's really not that, I don't know? I just get so scared x

0 likes, 21 replies

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  • tara60066
    tara60066 Dondons3

    Posted

    Hi, I know how you feel about work. It's really hard because you feel that work is your independance from the kids and a time to be "normal". But actually I have realised that if it makes you that I'll sometimes you just have to admit that it's not good for your health and that will have a negative effect on the kids. If the doctors don't feel that your not well enough to work ,it's hard but you may have to listen to them. Even if you didn't work you could go and do some voluntary work where you know you will. Feel valued. There is nothing wrong in the way you are feeling. I went off work for nine months as it was work that made me ill

     Hope this helps.... Keep in touch 

  • amberstar33
    amberstar33 Dondons3

    Posted

    Aww Donna. Sounds like things are really tough for you at the minute.

    What do you do for work? Do you enjoy it? Have you got some annual leave you could take to have a bit of a break? Personally I have found being at work a godsend! It gets me out of bed and keeps me going. 

  • jean91171
    jean91171 Dondons3

    Posted

    OK now here's the thing - you have responsilbility for 5 children, single Mum. I would suppose you are the main breadwinner and sole carer? Constantly struggling with timelines and finances? Add to the mix not confident with anxiety issues. I  brought up 2 boys, 3 and 4 alone and was anxious ALL THE TIME. I wanted to run away a thousand times, especially from a god awful job which paid well so I stayed for 18 years ( it was murder) I hated it. I was on edge all the time.

    WTF  hun, give yourself a break for a change. (pardon me), you have every right to feel scared.  You have a lot to cope with and in my world, you rock cos you keep going. That takes courage and you have it in spades. Rock on!!! 

    • Dondons3
      Dondons3 jean91171

      Posted

      A lot of things I do is because I'm a single mum and yes I'm on my own, have been for the last 2 years since my ex (all my children's dad) beat me up badly, I had to leave for them if nothing else but I could and have been told I could just solely rely on benefits but I want to work I don't want my children thinking I'm worthless, again it's just cleaning but I want them to see that I'm doing nothing, I need it for them and for me but it's just getting harder and harder that's all, don't know why I'm complaining on here, guess I'm just venting! Everyone struggles right? 

      Like they say I should just man up and carry on but it's just not always that easy for me and I hate that it's not, a simple thing as to cleaning is so hard for me to do...it's almost pathetic! sad xx

    • jean91171
      jean91171 Dondons3

      Posted

      Cut down on hours? Take all the help on offer - you have earned it, no wonder you feel crap. Add to the mix, an abusive partner, yet you still keep going. You rock, you really do.  
  • Dondons3
    Dondons3

    Posted

    I just want to work I've not worked for long and my first day was so hard but at the end of it (sounds silly) but I was proud of myself for doing it I just want to keep at it its just so hard if I give it up then I fear I won't do it agin or even find a job, I'm not a clever person, didn't finish school, have no qualifications i just want/need some kinda normality and don't want to be just mummy want my children to be proud of me, ok I only clean as a job and it's by far anything special but to me it's a job and I want to do it it's just getting harder and harder to do it, my youngest babies (twins) have just started school so I have no excuse to not work!

    Ok the doctors have advised me not to but I need it just not sure I can carry it on anymore but at the same time I don't want to feel a failure I mean it's just cleaning so if I can't do that then what can I do? I love my babies all the world but I need something that gets me out the house, like I said I don't want to be just mummy, I know That sounds bad and I don't mean it to it's just sometimes I actually forget that I actually have a name you know? You probably don't I'm probably talking in riddles, sorry xxx

    • amberstar33
      amberstar33 Dondons3

      Posted

      What are you finding hard about working? 

      I think you sound like an amazing person and an excellent mum. 

    • Dondons3
      Dondons3 amberstar33

      Posted

      I don't really know? I mean it's just cleaning and do than more than my fair share of that living in my own and having 5 children but it's just the being out I think just having to see, talk to people people seeing me, watching me? I don't know I'm sorry it's hard to explain xxx
    • amberstar33
      amberstar33 Dondons3

      Posted

      I understand. We all have different things and triggers for the anxious feelings. 

      For my job I cover quite a large area so lots of driving, going to different offices, attending meetings and visiting people in their own homes. I can handle it as it work. As soon as the weekend comes I just want to hide away in bed as I have to choice what to do, there is no plan. I know I could make a plan for my weekends but I just struggle so much to motivate myself. 

      I think you should have a think about where you are at the moment and if you think you can cope with the feelings you are experiencing towards work.

      Maybe you could look at doing some voluntary work in an environment that you feel ok in and build your confidence from there? I'm not sure what area you live in or what services you already access. 

    • Dondons3
      Dondons3 amberstar33

      Posted

      To be honest I'm anxious a lot of the time, just find most days hard whether I work or not but work is something I need to do for my children, money and myself, I only work 2 sometimes 3 days a week, it's stupid right? 

      It wouldn't matter what job it was I wouldn't or don't think I'd feel comfortable, it's not that I hate my job sometimes when I'm on my own I can carry on and do what I need to do but a lot of the time I have to talk to people, and have them around me which I just can't handle, I know I Sound like a child and I often think that way about myself, sorry I'm so rubbish at getting my point across cxx

    • jean91171
      jean91171 Dondons3

      Posted

      The sheer effort of getting ready and walking out the door is another hurdle you have overcome, I agree you do need to mix with others although slowly does it, cut down on hours and increase bit by bit, meanwhile take all help that is on offer. Rome wasnt built in a day.

      Weak -Failure -  you? Are you serious? 5 dependant kids, beatings, seperation/divorce trauma, health issues. You still have PTDS I bet.

      You are an amazing woman. Look how many people are responding to you,  and rightly so. This episode will pass in time,  give youself time to recover and stop blaming yourself.  

  • Aspinan
    Aspinan Dondons3

    Posted

    Donna, I can totally relate although I'm not a single parent with 5 children but I continued to work but eventually decided to take a break and get signed off.

    luckily I still get paid and have fantastic employers who are supportive.

    i agree with Tara that you should take Drs advise.

    I still do my volunteering work as I can either do or don't doer ding on how I'm feeling.

    Listen to what your body is telling you also. N 

    • Dondons3
      Dondons3 Aspinan

      Posted

      Thank you xxx

      I just can't sign off or have a break because I'm worried the break will end up being indefinite Xx

  • celtics
    celtics Dondons3

    Posted

    Hi there again i know how you feel about going to work as i didnt go to day but know ive got.to go.because of the amount. Of time ive had off myself so not looking forward

    To tomorrow ! Its a shame that you think you come across as work shy but sorry being a mum is almost a full time job in its self ! If i was.you i would take your doctor and counsoullers advice and take a break and get your self to a stage were you can think about going back take care david

    • Dondons3
      Dondons3 celtics

      Posted

      Thank you David but I honestly think If I give up it'll be even harder if not impossible to start again, I'm not clever don't have anything I'm good at, I was lucky to get this job through an old friend, I was lucky that I didn't have to have an interview or anything i really want to keep at it I just don't know how much longer I can cx
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