Self image post op

Good point Annie, enjoying the world around us is why we have achieved already so much with this operation and recovery. We may change, but it is only convention that tells us this is somehow not ideal, in my younger years I used to paint relentlessly, and used to love to painting older faces, they are far more interesting than young faces, there is real personality and strength or sometimes a fragile beauty or grace in a face that is impossible to find without age. It is beautiful to paint, and a life well lived can be seen etched into your face and tells your story without saying a word.

I SO agree! Our old faces have character and interest. I recently discovered the artist Yulia Brodskaya, who is originally from Russia but is now based in the UK. She does quilling, absolutely gorgeous things with paper, and one of her favorite subjects are the faces of old people. If you google her name, you'll find her website, go to the "art" section, and the first one that comes up is of an old woman wearing a hat and it is wonderful. There are many more, too.

Excellent post Annie!  I can remember when I was in my 20's, totally fit, great figure, could wear any clothing and look good in it and could eat everything I wanted and as much as I wanted and I never gained a pound.  Well, having being slim handed to me on a silver platter, creates some resentment now that I actually need to work hard to feel fit.  

Also in my 20's, I could be quoted as saying, "As long as Wisdom replaces my Youth, growing old will not be bad."  Well, someone should have slapped me.

 

I knew a great woman when in my 20's, and she was in her 70's and her wrinkles were soft, not hard, and her inner spirit brightly shone through her eyes and I remember wanting to have soft wrinkles in old age, just like her. Now that all these posts have me reflecting, I realize that it most likely was the light in her eyes that made everything else look soft.

I love creating art in many forms, but have not done anything for the last five years due to my hip battles.  It really does knock the wind out from underneath the sails.  Lately, and maybe because I am feeling better in the healing process, I have been reflecting upon how much I wish to accomplish art wise and how dreadful I feel when I am not creating.  

Thank you Loveinlex, you are right, this topic hit a nerve.  It is not something I have seen anyone post about, so I did.  It is better not to suffer in silence and if you have the time to read all the other posts, they are as wonderful as yours!  I have never obsessed, looking good came naturally, and now that I have to work hard, very hard, it just seems overwhelming.  I do want to be healthy, but I also want into my favorite jeans again.  

You are so right about the negativity and the dangerous downward spiral into depression.  Am there right now, but taking an antidepressant.  So that part is better.

I am going to take and use all of the advice in this post and slowly redefine a better, positive, me.

I lack the finances to be able to do all the beauty extras available to us today.  If I could, I think I would do the chin like you did and resurface my skin to get rid of the sun damage.  That is about it.  The cellulite is my nightmare.  Never had it before and it is everywhere.  This has caused my most negative thoughts about myself.  

 

Depression is a topic I also think could be addressed. I have heard so many people mention that they've become depressed after their surgeries. I did.. and I know it came from out of the blue. I can only imagine. I was also on anti-depressants before my surgery and after. They didn't help. Seems like I read somewhere before I had my surgery, there were several major side effects to watch for, and depression was one of them. ~~ "No one knows exactly why there is such a strong link between surgery and depression. Some researchers have hypothesized that many people experience post-surgical depression because it forces them to confront their own mortality. A theory that matches my own experience is that the length of time spent under anesthesia seems to be related to the likelihood and severity of depression." So, doctors know about this. They even expect this, but see it passes after about 6 months. They feel that it's even helpful because it causes you to be "less active", which is in my mind, is wrong. The same article said that depressed patients are less cooperative when it comes to their rehab...and a few other things. Having a patient suffer this way, without having any expectation that it's likely, is almost cruel. I had a designated "nurse" for the first 3 months. I mentioned it to her as well as mentioning I'd lost most of my hair. She is a MASTERS degree nurse. Her answer was "Hmm, I don't know why that would happen?" The doctor? He said almost the exact same thing. "Hmm, I can't imagine what would cause that" My uninvolved GP told me all about it.. the hair loss, the reason for it, the depression is to be expected in many people and it should be addressed by your surgeon, or at least he should have an answer if you ask directly. So, there is a curtain of lies. I think so because if not, why would BOTH the highly trained hip replacement nurse OR the highly educated and highly trained and observant surgeon also not know? At the very least, I would think the nurse would have said "Let me look into that, I'm sorry you're feeling that way" That.. would be a proper response. I have posted on the main page the two articles I found out about hair loss after surgery. I have not yet found an authoratative, precise article on Post Op Depression. I do know, it's very common in the elderly and people who live alone.  

luvinlex, great post! I wish you would either copy this post and start a new discussion with it about post-op depression or do a new post about it. This is a very important topic that should be covered so that people know they are not alone in this.

That WAS very wrong of the doc and nurse to (1) not have any knowledge about hair loss after surgery and (2) to not volunteer to find out about it. Certainly depression can cause it for various reasons. I thought it was fairly common knowledge, too, that trauma can cause hair loss, and THR is certainly traumatic. Another possibility for hair loss is lack of proper nutrition post surgery. I had no appetite for 2 to 3 weeks post-op and just gradually got back into eating. Probably didn't get nearly enough protein for quite awhile.

OK - I copied and pasted into a brand new discussion. How sad is it that we all have these issues in common?

Oh, I was pretty SURE they both were fully aware of the hair loss as a side effect, but by being coy, they didn't have to address it and so then, they didn't have to treat you or spend any more time with you than they needed to. I guess you didn't read my post about no appetite and not hungry? I don't think I've had solid food for 3 months. Boost Protein drinks, each have 28% of your daily protein requirements, and I have 5-6 a day

Hi,

could you find a nutritionist in your area to have a one off consultation with?

indont think that not eating meat or fish will be a huge problem, as vegetarians have hip replacements too!

it is important, however, that you have a good balance of vitamins and nutrients in your diet and well as protein from varied sources.

there is also a pretty good online nutritionist on the bonesmart forum. Not sure if you've heard of it?

she may be a useful source of relevant information.

let me know how you get on.

lindsey 

I am a vegetarian, have been for decades and it has made no difference to my recovery. I eat tons of vegetables and do have nuts and seeds too, and some soya based products although not many. 

A good supplement from the health food shop could possibly help, you could drop in and speak to someone there that could help you with this? Some of them are very well trained. 

I LOVED this whole thread... 

Oh... I tried and is was a miserable failure. I was scorned and had my feelings hurt and told I was rude and I should leave the hip forum and instead go to the "depression forum" which just devestated me. I asked the moderator to remove the whole thread. It was horrible. I lost my cool after a while/ it was bascially two girls, both in their 20's, telling me to "get over it" when you're depressed. I fought the good fight. It's still probably posted if you want to peek. you'll hate me.. ;-( 

Good idea. The people here at the Co-op, they mostly volunteer and there are a lot of pretty sharp people, know their stuff when it comes to food. I like Couscous, and think I could eat a big bowl of that! They have a salad bar but it's not salad, it's only good things like sprouts and hummus - might be a good place to visit today. NO PT... until tomorrow.

Well, you were treated very badly by those young women. Many people just don't understand about depression. We need to all be accepting of others, and share our experiences, if we want, but we should definitely NOT be putting other people down. And, I couldn't possibly hate you! 

I agree Annie.  As long as the topic of depression is connected to after surgery, for us, hip replacement surgery, it should be accepted on this forum.  I am a member of the depression forum and no one on there has even mentioned depression in connection with surgery of any kind, so I feel it is perfectly valid to post on a surgery site like ours.  And no one should ever put anyone down on here!  

I want to read it and as I said to Annie, connecting depression with major surgery, and in our case, THR, should be a perfectly valid subject for this site.  I am a member of the Depression forum but I have yet to encounter anyone who has just come out of major surgery.  

I was treated very badly on this hip forum last year by one person and fortunately we have an excellent monitor and he deleted her mean posts, and made it clear to her that this forum is for everyone no matter what their experience has been like. 

I wish to read your post if it is still up.

I totally agree, in the context of connection to THR, it  should be welcomed on this forum.

We are all big boys and girls here, if you don't want to read about any topic, you just have to 'unfollow' the topic.  There is absolutely no reason to be unkind to anyone on here, even if you disagree with the other person's point of view.  

Depression is not something I have ever suffered from before, but at times this constant recovery has 'got me down', so I guess I have now suffered some mild depression, and it's definitely not pleasant.

Graham - 🚀💃

Well I for one sunk to a dark place after my surgery and its other complications that arose for a while!!

Not my usual nature but it was awful! Think I cried every day for three months!

Felt like I'd been taken over with such misery and despair!!

Thank God as I've recovered that's gone and I'm ME again!!

You have to dig deep and keep going there's no other choice, eventually you get back to who you are!

Much love to us all. Xx

Hi y'all, 

I read it and I think that this ended due to major miscommunication - let's leave it at that - 

I find myself in discussions so often when I try to explain how I feel and end up defending myself, which makes me feel misunderstood and depressed even more - 

Also, it is hard to explain it to people who don't have this experience - 

Hopefully more attention will be given to post-op depression - 

big warm hug

renee

 

Absolutely Gaby, and you know we come out fighting and much stronger than we started. Also with a sense of perspective that wasn't there before perhaps....so many people around me sweating the small stuff...I care a lot less about small things now....I do feel changed but in a good way, despite the tears and stress along the way.

I would be crying ALOT more if I was still in the pain I was in before the replacement, and lets be honest Gaby you had a lot going on back then that reduce anyone to tears on a daily basis. I remember your sofa bed I really do bless you! Are you now sleeping in a proper bed?

Bless you. Sofa thing of the past Thank God! I just do the stairs once a day down/up tho for now! I'm much better but knee still not 100% by any means & from strain other one swollen and painful. The injured knee I have a bursitis which keeps me awake all night grrrrr!!

The hip is excellent!! I'm walking now with no limp at all!! My Physio said it's incredible as I was listing ( like a ship) before massively!! And mostly don't use my crutch or stick unless long walk or crowds!

Bum muscles still get tired... But all getting there! Not sure my knee will recover 100%? But that fear will never leave me.

But happy days... I'm so much more me again!

Punta Cana next week R&R whoooopeee

You sound SO much happier that is for sure. Great news re limp too! No small thing so I am learning

Now maybe you are walking better the knee improves, either way you are in a better place and off that sofa!!!

Have a wonderful time next week you lucky lucky thing! The sunshine wil do you the world of good ~ have a great holiday x

Thank you so much!! I'm looking forward to it and a month ago I said no way could I go anywhere let alone travel.... So this journey for us all is One day at a time!!. Xx

No one tells us, and we don't work it out, that the recovery of one joint will put a tremendous strain on the joints of the other leg, as you and others have found out to your cost Gaby.

Graham - 🚀💃

Renee, you have described what I have felt before in discussions.  One person stalked me, took the time to read all of my posts, dozens and dozens, and then attack me in public on here.  She was trying to strong arm me away from this site just because my hippie journey was so traumatic and dramatic. This person accused me of scaring people.

I have realized that when we reach out like this, we are putting ourselves onto the public chopping block.  And it hurts sometimes.  But we need to just shake it off and report to the monitor anything inappropriate. When we are already depressed and feeling low and very sensitive, it is difficult to process those who are negative and trying to cut us down.

Renee, you are so incredibly special! And you have supported me incredibly.  I will never forget how you actually remembered me while I was not visiting the site for a few months.  You sent me a message around the Christmas holidays telling me that you were thinking of me. 

On this thread you are understood.  And hopefully others, you?, will post more about this subject and we will give each other support and if the odd one comes in and tries to make you, or anyone, feel the need to defend themselves, all of us will stand up for each other.

Love

I'm so glad to hear I'm not alone with this "crying" thing. I could simply not stop after the tears began. Nobody had explained this other than some "cathartic" event. I wrote a post on it and it's probably parked in the main forum page. About mind/body connection. I feel much better at 3 months yesterday. My house is a mess where I've been to down...to even pick up after myself. I am embarrased to say, I have mixed clean and dirty laundry and have to "smell" each thing before I wear it. So silly, why don't I just start a pile of dirty?  Yes, I wouldn't wish the D on anyone. It feels just so bad, and you don't want to complain to people, as most don't understand. Even my doctor and nurse.

Yeah - reposting turned out to have a poor outcome. Feel free to copy my post and start the discussion yourself. I hope it goes better...

Don't worry you'll be back to yourself soon!! Things are annoying me round my house now..... Feel Spring Clean coming on AFTER MY HOLIDAY!! Diet underway etc etc

Take care! Go sort the Washing lol Be Cathartic and smell lovely. Xx

So sorry! I haven't personally had problems with post-op blues or depression, although I know people who have. I think that we should all feel free to post discussions about whatever concerns us in relation to THR/hip problems, without fear of negative comments from others. Wish people could keep their negative comments to themselves.