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Selfish...this is in my thought for the day.

Posted , 9 users are following.

Misssy2
Misssy2

"When I was drinking, I was absolutely selfish, Ii thought of myself first, last and always. The universe revolved around me at the center. When I woke up in the morning with a hangover, my only thought was how terrible I felt and about what I could do to make myself feel better. And the only thing I could think of was more liquor. To quit was impossible. I couldn't see beyone myself and my own need for another drink."

Can I now look out and beyond my own selfishness?

WOW...I didn't like when I read this because I have never thought of myself as "selfish"...but by this prespective it does slap you right in the face because there so much truth in what is said. "I thought of myself first, last and always" WOW...

I do that with my friends, family...chat boards...(although I do try to help others on chat boards) but the others...its all about ME all the time...How I am feeling...Have I drank?  When I drink I am exactly as it say...the oly thing I could think about is liquor!

So then the book gives a "Meditation for the Day" that says.

We are here on earth to serve others. That is the beginning and the end of our real worth.

I feel so guilty right now for what I have put everyone thru in my life and the only way I can make that better is to try and take some focus off of me...and ask more about their days...their feelings and emotions.

Hope this helps someone else open their eyes...mine are open.

0 likes, 26 replies

26 Replies

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  • sharon7979
    sharon7979 Misssy2

    Posted

    You still need to think of yourself tho Missy but maybe in other ways that does not involve drink. To be the best for others you also have to do the best for yourself. I wish i followed my own advise more to be honest as i know what you mean about the guilt. Couldnt sleep last night until around 8 this morning when i listened to a meditation tape. Watched a few films one was called ''Pilot'' with Denzel Washingtion, long story short he basically flies a jet while drunk but has a serious, serious drink problem anyway. To be honest i am not sure i would have watched had i know it would be so much about drink.... but it is really good and in a kind of way helpful. There is few on here i would think that couldnt relate to it in some way very honest and open film. Sorry to bore but i was genuinely surprised.

    Anyway how are you today, up to much?

    • Misssy2
      Misssy2 sharon7979

      Posted

      I saw that movie sharon...that was a good movie.

      Yea, I had a dilema today..I want a new pillow but I wouldn't buy one because I felt like I had to buy one for my b/f and my son.

      I was talking to my X on the phone and he said I should challenge myself..and that was STUPID and I should go back in and just buy me a pillow..I couldn't do it..

      I wouldn't sleep good knowing I didn't get them one...they are only 6 bucks a piece.

    • sharon7979
      sharon7979 Misssy2

      Posted

      Seriously just buy one for yourself, the others can be bought later. Remember we are talking about a pillow!

      Give yourself a break girl x

  • JulieAnne101
    JulieAnne101 Misssy2

    Posted

    What is the point of guilt? Just stop it. It's an addiction. Draw a line move on. Don't let it drag you down, wasted emotion. This is coming from a person who supports someone with AUD. You cannot turn the clock back xx Onward and upward. In the words of Scarlett O'Hara tomorrow is another day ? xx

    • sharon7979
      sharon7979 JulieAnne101

      Posted

      What you say is true...glad i heard those words from you as i was feeling pretty low there and i know your right xx. How are things with you and your husband just right now? 

       

    • JulieAnne101
      JulieAnne101 sharon7979

      Posted

      We are ok Sharon, thank you. Went out for a walk together this afternoon. Weather perfect so glad I live near the coast. Good sea breezes to blow the cobwebs away xx

      Sounds as if you are a bit more positive today too, Sharon xx

    • sharon7979
      sharon7979 JulieAnne101

      Posted

      Where around do you live? Sounds nice. I have to be honest not feeling that positive today, partner and i rowed on the phone. Dont know whats happening right now... maybe its just me. Tired with lack of sleep. Need to do loads but honestly still even now finding it hard. There are not even words. X
    • gwen45436
      gwen45436 Misssy2

      Posted

      Nothing wrong with that - means you are a kind soul. x
    • JulieAnne101
      JulieAnne101 sharon7979

      Posted

      About a mile from a lovely sandy beach xx you might need to do loads, but when I think about things that need doing like that they get left. So I know what you mean xx small tasks. Doesn't help that you're tired and had a row with your OH xx

    • gwen45436
      gwen45436 sharon7979

      Posted

      Chin up hunni - really sorry to hear of a row; that does not help.  You are trying so hard and then get a kick in the teeth.  Lack of sleep sucks big time.  Please don't let it detract from the kudzu.  Does he know that you are making a huge effort in order to go to him.  You need encouragement not rows.  No there are not words, I soo feel for you but hold my hands up to you for trying. 

      I think you are doing brilliantly.

      Gxxx

    • Nat666
      Nat666 JulieAnne101

      Posted

      Good to read that everything is ticking along well for you JulieAnne .It must feel so great to do some normal stuff together with hubby like the walking by the coast.I always think the sea is very healing and I always take myself off there if I feel a bit meh ! Hubby sounds like he is doing good x
    • JulieAnne101
      JulieAnne101 Nat666

      Posted

      Hi Nat. Yeah I love the sea. Hubs is doing ok I think. When he got home last nite his eyes were all puffy and he was talking very loudly and quickly which is usually the first sign that he has picked up. Can't smell anything yet though.

      Ah me such is life xx

      Glad to hear you are ok xx

    • Nat666
      Nat666 JulieAnne101

      Posted

      Hi Julie Anne, just picked your message up my notifications don't serm.to be coming through .Hope everything is ok and hubby is still on the right path.Such a flipping worry all of it

      Thinking of you as I know you must be on very high alert hunny xx

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