Seriously depressed about anal fissure
Posted , 31 users are following.
Seriously am so depressed dealing with this 
the weight loss , the life change, the pain , the emotions
I'm 8 days post Botox I've had so many panicking attacks my surgeon has had to contact me outside his usual hours
I just feel like I'm forever doomed the Botox has worked abit but going toilet still sucks and then I'm tender and sore after still better than what it was before surgery but I'm struggling because I'm panicking this won't heal and I'm forever doomed I just cry all day because I'm miserable and it's affecting everything can someone please talk to me im feeling really depressed about it and I'm only 23yesr old female
1 like, 126 replies
gemma84543 Riri000
Posted
Hello! I am also 23 and a vegan! I think I got my fissure because I tried eating a ketogenic diet for one week, and had about half as much fibre as I used to have, and forgot to drink as much water. So dumb.
Anyway, I have had my fissure since the start of March. I haven't had any blood in my defecations for a week, and there is some pain when I defecate now but it's bearable. I was prescribed GTN/nitro cream for two months by the surgeon and then if it hasn't worked I have to go back and get a botox injection (at the end of this month
). I really don't want the botox injection as I have heard mixed reviews about it! My mum had this when she was my age too, and she got surgery and then it went away. I would rather have surgery than the botox injection. Also because the surgeon said "it's really intense pain but after that it's fine"- cool! Now I'm not scared at all! (Sarcasm).
I got zinc oxide cream (sudocrem-nappy rash cream) a bit over a week ago, and honestly it helped so much, I started not having pain during the day. I still had some pain with bowel movements though. Anyway I managed to go a week with no pain during the day, and then two days ago the pain came back. Waah! So now I am sitting here trying to study in pain for the whole day. I have sitz baths with magnesium and coconut oil about once a day, but have increased them to twice a day since pain gets back. I am also trying that "law of attraction" stuff and visualise myself being well. It's really depressing because this has been going on the whole semester, and I can't deal with this on top of all the assignment and exam stress
I really want it to go away but I read that it takes six months if it is chronic like mine. I also don't think mine is even that bad. But maybe it is.
I think next week I'm just going to have lentil soups the whole week and then hopefully that will help (at the moment I have a high fibre diet, but maybe my food isn't soft enough? Im just having porridge and beans and veges and fruit, and some psyllium husk). Also if I keep exercising maybe that will work too, as the last couple days I stopped exercising. I really want this to go away because I feel so embarassed to get surgery on this! Also I am scared about going to the toilet after surgery..
Has anyone had an anal fissure that lasted three months or longer and managed to get it heal by themselves? I'm really at my wits end like you too Riri000. I really hope that you recover after having the botox injection. This is honestly such a depressing struggle to go through, so I really feel your pain!
Riri000 gemma84543
Posted
Hi Gemma
I'm so sorry you are going through this
Your journey sounds almost identical to every other story and i completely and litterally feel your pain !
But hang in there I know it will feel like your fissure isn't healing but it will ! Mine was chronic and it was big and raw and nasty ! But since the Botox it has strted healing well ! My surgeon said it's about 95% healed
I only occasionally get a burn after a poop makes it way out which only lasts like 5 seconds but I can tell once it's completely healed il be back to normal 
I hope the same goes for you ! From experience I would try the Botox - it's actually painless but I was under general anesthic but post op had no issues - the Botox works the same as the surgery- which is to relax the muscle so the fissure can heal - how ever Botox won't permanently affect your bum hol muscle 
if I can battle this u can to ! I HVe a fast metabolism and I Kid u not I poop 3-5 times a day so I had alot to deal with ! I'm in a much better place physically and mentally and I hope the same can come for u 
although I'm still healing I know I will be ok soon 
best of luck x
gemma84543 Riri000
Posted
Hi Riri000 thanks so much for your nice reply a few months back. Your advice has been really helpful. I got the botox three weeks ago under general anaesthetic, and it basically seemed the same, but the last few days have been a bit better - although worse today. It's really strange, I have some pain with a bowel motion, and then it's fine for about 2-3 hours afterwards, and then I will be in burning/dull achey pain for about three hours (so if I have a bm at 7.30 I will have no pain til 12, and then will be in pain until 3). Luckily this has stopped the last four days, but has started again today. I'm interested to know if your healing is better? I hope you are healed, it's such a hellish experience
How long will it take for the pain to go away? The pain during the day is what gets me. I've also been experiencing a lot of itchiness in the area too. I'm hoping that this is a sign I am healing? 
Ever since the botox I have been super cautious with my diet, eating lots of fruit and veges and almost no gluten or refined white things (like rice, flour etc), and mostly soups and smoothies. Do you have any advice for me? I really want this to heal soon so I can get on with living a normal life and not have to put all these creams on me and be terrified of eating anything that might cause a hard bm.
I'm especially concerned because at the end of November I am going travelling for two months and I definitely do not want to have to worry about this while I am travelling!
lee65521 gemma84543
Posted
rtr12345 Riri000
Posted
I healed my fissure through anal dialion. You can get anal dialators or simply use a lubricated finger to stretch the sphincter muscles. I did it every 3 days for 3 weeks went back to the Dr. and he said that it was almost completly healed. The pain was so bad I was willing to try anything (I had already tried a lot of other things). This worked for me. After researching why fissures will not heal, it is becasue the sphincter muscle is too tight. That's what LIS surgery does is it loosens it up. This along with keeping my stools soft by drinking lots of water and eating prunes and avoiding straining with bowel movements and lubricating before movements healed me in about 3 weeks. Each time you do the stretch with your finger spend about a minute or 2 massages and stretching at top, bottom, and both sides. Note: the day after the muscles will be a little sore (just like any deep massage) but will get better with time.
Riri000 rtr12345
Posted
Wow that's really interesting! I will be willing to try this when the Botox wears off to kind of loser it naturally! Hopefully I never have this horrific thing again
But that's great advice you should defiantly post it on the forum!
JustMe81 Riri000
Posted
Hello,
Are any of you still chatting on these boards?
I had hemorrhoid Banding a week ago and ended up with a fissure. MY GOD it's painful. I'm in pain nearly 24/7.
I'm taking rectogesic and scheriproct creams. Regular Panadol. Magnesium. Three sitz baths a day. Lots of water. Movicol. I watch what I eat. I also started placing a little heat pack on my bum to calm the muscles.
This is awful and so painful. I don't know what else to do. I would love to talk to someone
lyndsey45965 JustMe81
Posted
Hi JustMe81 ive suffered with crohic anal fissures for 2.5 years and really bad piles. I really feel your pain, as its totally unbearable and really cruel. I tried all the ointments, cream treatments and nothing would heal mine :-( just lived on painkillers and dread going to toilet.
My colonrectal surgeon suggested botox to see if it will help heal them. Im 4 days post procedure and still have discomfort, bleeding after bowel movements. If ive got to go the loo i cant even hold totally no control there, i hope this will improve as am to scared to go out.
I know botox can be a long process with recovery but maybe see about having it, worth a go and im not in as much pain as i was before, just got to make sure you keep your stools very soft and stick to a high fibre diet with loads of water. As you dont want to tear things again.
Its always nice to have someone to talk to who understands and knows what your going through. I really hope things improve for you.
Lynds xx
Riri000 JustMe81
Posted
I'm still here ! I know the pain is ridiculous and consumes u ! Just mentally prepare yourself that it's a long slow recovery and u will get there ! Xx
lyndsey45965 Riri000
Posted
Hi Riri0000, im 3 days into having my botox injections and "scrape" as my fissures were old my colorectal surgeon scraped scabs of making them the fissures fresh so they'd have a better chance to heal. Procedure its self took about 30 mins and i was under general anaesthetic.
I feel your pain as mu fissures have really got me down, the pain totally unbearable. I am in some discomfort after procedure and do have the burning stinging sensation even when i cough. Pass blood also after a BM but pain is bearable unlike before.
I was given lactulose to take 15ml in morning and 15ml in evening but having a disaster tonight as my stools are solid (sorry for to much info) and am scared to go loo for fear of tearing and terrific pain.
I will be phoning GP tomorrow to see what i can do as been following a strict high fibre diet also. I know many people who reckon the botox has worked wonders for so maybe its an option for you. Its a slow process i know but you've got nothing to loose.
Im really sorry to see your suffering so much. Fissures are such a cruel thing to suffer with and most definitley ruin your life. Im hoping things will improve for me as so down at moment.
Take care and i hope you can get some help soon,
Lynds xx
Riri000 lyndsey45965
Posted
I know how awful it is and sorry you are going though this aswell ! It's a very very slow long process and feels like it will never go away but it does get better enough to the point that it won't bother you anymore
juanita93228 Riri000
Posted
Let me tell you I get it. You feel like you whole life revolves around your butthole and you do worry that it's somethng more serious. I have been having trouble with miy fissure since around March/April maybe? Unfortunately mine was self inflicted(yes I did it to myself, so dumb). I had eaten some really spicy black pepper chicken and those nasty little granules worked their way into the vessels in my rectum. I was itching so bad I sort of stuck my finger just right outside my rectum and scratched. There was no bleeding or anything, but it was itchy slightly swollen in the area. So I looked up ways to soothe it. After a pretty extensive internet search, I saw where this guy said he used raw unfiltered honey. I bought the honey and some Preparation H(only to use the applicator). I would smear the honey on the applicator and put it in my rectum. I did this twice a day for about a month and it healed the fissure.
Fast forward to March of this year. The honey isn't working this time and there is bleeding. Not a lot of pain and no spasms. But soreness and itchyness. My butt took over my life. My gastro doc called in some meds for hemmorhoids which helped. He said if that didn't help we would need to do my colonoscopy earlier(I was scheduled for one in October). But I have a fissure not hemmies, those are two different things. But I scheduled myself a colonoscopy. When I called my Gastro doc's office and told them my fissure was still bothering me and I wanted to wait and get it healed before doing the procedure they were rude. "Who told you have a fissure? Did you go to another doctor"?" We can still do the colonoscopy, your prep will just be painful". I decided right then and there to cancel. I am getting one in Feb. 2018, just not with this doctor. Everywhere I have read, most docs want the fissure to be healed before doing a colonoscopy so as to not irritate it more.
Anyway sorry to go on so but this little routine has helped me. 1) Stay positive. 2) Try not to stress, I know it's hard not to, because life happens and you have to deal with things(a friend's son committed suicide out of the blue and my heart aches for her). 3) Drink water.
Now this little routine has helped me BUT everyone is different and this may not work for everyone. Here goes: Take some Olive Oil and put it on your index finger and insert the finger in your rectum, and roll it around so the olive oil gets in there really good. Use as much as you want. Next take Dr. Butler's Hemmorhoid/Fissure Ointment and put that in your rectum(you can order it on Amazon , it's 28.00 a tube, but was well worth it for me). Next dab a little Vick's Vapor Rub around the outside of your anus Do this after each bowel movement. Even if you don't have BM try to do this at least three time a day, especially before bed so things can heal while you sleep. It' hasn't "cured" it but it's a hell of a ot better than it was and Iv'e only had bleeding once since doing this. I would say I've been doing this little regime about 5 weeks.
Sorry to go on so.
Moderator comment: I have removed the link(s) directing to site(s) unsuitable for inclusion in the forums. If users want this information please use the Private Message service to request the details.
http://patient.uservoice.com/knowledgebase/articles/398316-adding-links-to-posts
http://patient.uservoice.com/knowledgebase/articles/398331-private-messages
Riri000 juanita93228
Posted
It such an awful thing to experience
I hope u get better soon
My fissure healed but I have a raw skin inside at the moment which makes burning so my crs has me on steroid suppositories
Once this is all better I plan on writing u all a story for faith Xx
juanita93228 Riri000
Posted
Thank you Riri000. I'm doing a LOT better. My day doesn't revolve around my butthole anymore. I saw my doctor today(not about this just a routine physical) and she said I was doing all the right things to heal the fissure. She told me even if I have the bleeding as long as it is bright red, don't worry. She is my new PCP and she's a keeper, so far.
ej21467 Riri000
Posted
The only plus is that I have soft bms so no pain (yet) when going. But pain from the time I wake up until hours after lying down.
I am allergic to naproxen and ibuprofen so no pain or anti-inflammatory meds for me...just suppositories. ))))-:
I understand crying and depression over this. Believe me.
I see my gp this week and am praying that he can help me deal with this constant pain and speed up my recovery.
Will be checking for posts from you. I hope we both can beat this.