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Severe health anxiety. Fear of cancer

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Guest

Hey there. So I’ll start with the fact I’ve had a fear of dying pretty much all of my life. When my mom was diagnosed with colon cancer it didn’t help at all. She later passed from lung cancer. Now I have had a lump in the side of my throat for years and my doc told me when I first noticed it that it was probably just a scarred up lymph node. So I let a few years go by and lately I’ve been having pain in the right side of my abdomen and chest/shoulder and I’m freaking out. Ive also been feeling weak and tired and even have had some numbness and tingling. My legs and arms hurt and feel tired all the time. I’m scared to death this is from either lung cancer as I’ve smoke for years and am now 28....or some other sorta cancer (lymphoma or a brain tumor). I can’t take it anymore, my doc ran a tbc as well as a bunch of other tests...Lyme, inflammation, vitamin tests and everything came back normal besides my vitamin d was a little low so I started taking vitamins. I had a cat scan of my neck with Iv contrast today and am so worried I’m going to get a call in a couple days with the worst news. My anxiety has been so bad the following couple of months and these other physical symptoms and sensations have just started a couple of weeks ago. I don’t know what I’ll do if I’m told I have cancer, I don’t think I could survive those words being told to me. I have a family... a 6 year old boy and a newborn baby girl....please has anyone ever been through anything like this? I’m afraid to even hear the results from my doc and that’s going to take a couple of days to even get them. Please help. Thanks so much. Vince. 

0 likes, 13 replies

13 Replies

  • lynsey72874
    lynsey72874 Guest

    Posted

    I’m so sorry that you’re suffering as you are. In all likelihood your throat will be fine, especially as it sounds like you’ve had this problem for such a long time. You’ve done the right thing though. I’ve been there having an ultrasound because I got it into my head that I had cancer. It wasn’t. Your other symptoms can be as a result of anxiety, as this can cause a range of physical symptoms. You will get your results, for me I felt a bit like I was on automatic pilot, going through the motions to get myself there. You have two beautiful children, so they are your inspiration to get through this. You may need to address your health anxiety to stop these feelings from manifesting again and give up smoking!
    • Guest
      Guest lynsey72874

      Posted

      Thanks so much Lynsey. I know these things can be caused by anxiety but my brain doesn’t seem to want to believe it. Like my joints and arms and knees and legs have never felt like this but I do feel like they are worse after a panic attack. I fear I might have GAD. I can go weeks panicking every single day. It’s horrible. Whenever I have an attack I literally convince myself that my life is over. I hate it, and the physical symptoms only verify to me what my mind is already telling me. So it’s like I start thinking “yup that’s why you are having that symptom, your cancer is progressing”. I know it’s crazy but it’s my life right now unfortunately. I’m just tired..mentally and physically all the time. I pray my results are normal but I also kinda hope there is something wrong that they can just cure so that I know I’m not just losing my mind. So I want to be fine so bad, but I also want a non serious diagnosis. It makes no sense. Thanks for the reply because I literally have been convincing myself I have lung cancer today. Ugh. 
  • Leavesley
    Leavesley Guest

    Posted

    Hi there buddy.

    Firstly I know exactly where you are coming from. My mum died of cancer at 44 which tipped my anxiety over the edge. I basically spent years talking myself into thinking I was dying of this and that. I could even make myself feel the physical symptoms just from over thinking. I swear I’ve had every illness know to man!!! Or thought so anyway. These days I’m much better, I do take meds but have been able to hold down a good job, been married for 5 years and I’ve 2 kids and another on the way. I am confident that with the right help you will beat this thing.

    Feel free to reach out anytime

    Alun

    • Guest
      Guest Leavesley

      Posted

      Hey Alun. Everything you said really hit hard with me. I’ve literally diagnosed myself with everything as well and it is the scariest thing in the world to actually convince yourself you have these things. In my head it’s as real as actually being told I have them. I’ve had headaches the past few days just from excessive amounts of worrying I’m sure. My mom passed in her 50s and since then I’ve been a mess mentally. Depression and anxiety rules my life. It’s sad. Thanks for the bit of hope it helps a lot. 
  • borderriever
    borderriever Guest

    Posted

    Hello Vince

    I was a heavy smoker in the 60s/70s, would go through three packs a day, I was told to quit because I had started to suffer lung infections, I stopped smoking. All I remember is smoking was very expensive and when I stopped I had more holidays

    I have had a lump on my neck for twenty years it was checked, now looked every few years and they say it is no problem

    When it comes to death there is nothing much any of us can do about it, there will be no negotiation we go when called. Leading  up to not smoking I was very much worried about death, that helped me pack in. I was told it would take seven years or so to get all the  gunge out my lungs.

    Good luck with your last test. When you register at the hospital for your last test ask for a copy of the letter sent to your GP in the UK that is your rite, They will send copies of this then future tests you will have in the future. When you get the report, make an appointment with your GP, then you can discuss their findings together.

    BOB

    BOB

  • lynsey72874
    lynsey72874 Guest

    Posted

    Reading what you said just reminded me of something that happened many years ago. It was a minor problem but bare with me. I remember having pain in my tooth and I became so focused on it that it started to worry me and I was constantly aware of it. I went to the dentist who told me he could not find anything wrong. Funny cause the pain I was feeling disappeared after hearing that! The mind can play tricks on you and focusing on one ailment can very quickly manifest in your head. Us anxious types can’t always rationalise these things in our head so trying something like CBT can be beneficial. Let us know how you get on at the doctors, I’m sure you will be fine. Feel proud of yourself for getting it sorted and treat yourself. That’s what I do anyway, any excuse!!!
    • Guest
      Guest lynsey72874

      Posted

      Thanks Lynsey I feel like you’re so right but still in the back of my mind I can’t help but think these pains are real. It is mostly in my left knee now and I get these feelings on my arms and legs that feel like a hair is being pulled almost. I read up on hypersensitivity and think maybe this is what I’m suffering from. I don’t know how else to explain it. It often comes in waves. I’m impatiently waiting for summer hoping that the beautiful weather has some effect and helps me get over all of this. I’m a very active person and always well aware of what my body is telling me so these symptoms have been very difficult for me. I will be sure to let you all know what the results come back as. Thank you all. 
  • Guest
    Guest

    Posted

    Well the tests all came back normal. The anatomy of the lymph node looks normal. I am happy but at the same time it still doesn’t answer what’s wrong with me so that’s kind of upsetting. Still having pains. Hope they get better soon. Maybe second opinion? Thanks everyone. 
    • lynsey72874
      lynsey72874 Guest

      Posted

      I’ve got myself into a trap also thanks to my anxiety and depression. I used to go to the gym twice a week and out with a cycling club most weekends but since winter I’ve done nothing. I love the summer and am also hoping it inspires me to get active again. Hopefully we’ll both stop focusing on the negative thoughts and start to think positively! You may be feeling tired for a while due to the heightened anxiety you’ve had and in the next few days you will start to recover your energy and stop focusing on any pain. Easier said than done I know!
  • Guest
    Guest

    Posted

    Got a chest ct and more blood work done today and everything came back great. I feel so much better. I just hope I can stay this way and no go back to my old thoughts again 😬

  • martha22206
    martha22206 Guest

    Posted

    I'm in the same situation , my mom passed away having cancer. And now I'm paranoid I have one too. I google symptoms and next day I have them. I have shoulder pain, arm pain etc so now I'm scared having panacoast tumor ( lung cancer) I know exactly the way u feel. It drives me crazy. I have no life. Just thinking about my symptoms and fearing cancer

    • Guest
      Guest martha22206

      Posted

      Yes exactly. Literally I have it all, right abdominal cramping, swelling under my collarbone and arms and legs in pain then will feel better. It makes no sense. Because of the lymph node in my throat I tense up my right shoulder all the time to stretch my neck out and I think that’s what has caused the swelling under my collarbone. I got a ct with contrast the other day because I was so worried and a full blood work up and of course everything was fine. Then I found out they found a 3 mm nodule in my middle right lung and I’ve been freaking out all day. Even though the doctors told me they think it’s nothing I keep convincing myself it’s my lymphoma that’s spreading to my lungs and bones. I have a biopsy schedule for my lymph node but not until the end of next month! I don’t think I can wait that long 😢 tired of being scared all the time 

    • martha22206
      martha22206 Guest

      Posted

      I'm so sorry to hear that. But I would be freaking out too. Is it possible you can go earlier? It's exhausting being scared everyday. I'm tired myself. People are telling me oh be positive, enjoy life...how?!?! So easy to say... I know the way u feel. U gonna think about it all the time. I'm like that too. 

      I'm going for CT in two weeks, also chest 

      I'm already scared. 

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