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Sex and lichen Sclerosus

Posted , 15 users are following.

Guppy007
Guppy007

Hi Ladies, Sex with my husband recently was a bit of a disaster.  It is just too painful, I haven't been using a vibrator or anything to keep the area open, which is a bit of a shame, so I don't know what to do now, I guess I will just have to do it!!   I just find the whole idea such a drag, and yet it is important especially as my husband is six foot four and not small in any area, so I should have been doing  that really.  I don't know, I have other health issues that I am dealing with, and I just let that slide really.  

Also, sex now has to be planned,  and has to be  slow, careful, more cautious.....its hard to imagine that I will never be able to have spontaneous, hot sex again.  Fortunately,  my husband is very understanding, (but then so am I, as he is certainly not perfect) so that is a  plus, as I know for some women, this can put a terrible strain on their relationship.   Because it is not just the mechanics of sex, it is the intimacy, closeness, that partners feel when making love, it's what binds relationships together, and when that disappears, its hard to adjust, and hard to adjust to a new and different way of making love.  And, a different way of being with your partner, who goes from being your lover to more like your best friend that you hang out with...

So I am feeling like  I can't be bothered to have sex anymore, knowing that it will cause me such pain and discomfort...I have not ruled out the possibility of having the Mona Lisa Touch some time next year, but at the moment I want to wait and see how this treatment is working before going ahead with it.

How is your sex life with Lichen Sclerosus?

  

3 likes, 39 replies

39 Replies

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  • Jessicat
    Jessicat Guppy007

    Posted

    Hi guppy, I never used to have any sex problems with LS except some pain at the start but I just thought that was due to my boyfriends size as he's not small either, but the other day we had sex and at the start it felt like the skin from the outside was being dragged inside, which wasnt very unpleasant. I had a look after and it doesn't look like anything has shrunk or closing over, so I don't know if this is due to LS. But it does really get upsetting when LS starts affecting other parts of your life 
    • Guppy007
      Guppy007 Jessicat

      Posted

      I think when sex is uncomfortable at any point, and you have LS, then it is usually because of the LS, which sucks!!!

       

  • lori123159
    lori123159 Guppy007

    Posted

    your lucky you have a husband.I think us people with l.s. just has to relize are sex life will never be the same.I am 55 and i will never have a boyfriend let alone a husband,noone will want me now that sex will be not so plesasant.this L.S.screwed up my life for sure.i am very sad,but its to late in life to have a boyfriend now anyway,i just wanted love not sex,but sex comes with love,so i don't get either. be thankful you have someone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    • sandra01720
      sandra01720 lori123159

      Posted

      I'm so sorry. And thanks for the reminder to be thankful. I am in disbelief sometimes at the awfulness of this disease.
    • Guppy007
      Guppy007 lori123159

      Posted

      Lori, I know its awful for some women, but as already mentioned there are other ways to have fun in the bedroom, and so I dont think 55 is too late for anyone, but I do think it is  just more difficult with LS thats all.  
  • lynne1945
    lynne1945 Guppy007

    Posted

    Dear Guppy

    I know how devastating it must be to lose such a vital part of a loving relationship. I was  60 when things started getting painful but we still had a good sex life up to then, which diminished rapidly thereafter. But even at 70 and he at 73 we have the sadness that it's over for me. Very important part of our life.

    Maybe tmi but just because I can't doesn't mean he can't and we still have very loving and satisfying encounters which make me very happy in a different way because we are together and close and he is happy in the usual way. 

    Thats perspective from an older person.

    Young women with this, well it's just so unfair and horrible on every level and l pray that in your lifetimes something new and wonderful will arrive to combat and even eliminate this dreadful disease which hits at the very core of a woman and can cause such far reaching consequences in every aspect of life. 

    Great post Guppy X

     

    • Guppy007
      Guppy007 lynne1945

      Posted

      Hi Lynne, I think you are correct, being creative in the bedroom is probably the answer, and where I am heading now too!   Last time was so painful, and  for at least three days afterwards, that I thought what the Heck am I doing!! this is no fun whatsoever....
  • girlfour
    girlfour Guppy007

    Posted

    I totally agree I'm right there too. Painful sex. I loved sex but hurting for two days afterwards sucks. Have you tried Estrace vaginal cream? Has a little estrogen in the cream. Only a small amount gets in the blood stream. I do 1 gram every two days. My vaginal area hurt even without sex before the cream. But, I still have trouble with intercourse. You have to be very diligent when using the cream so intercourse is a little more comfortable it does help . My hubby and I do other things in the bedroom to try to make up for the lack of sexual intercourse and it seems to help alot. Thank goodness he is sympathetic to this problem.
    • Guppy007
      Guppy007 girlfour

      Posted

      I haven't tried any creams. I rather think its a bit late for me for that, you see, I have that horrid band of skin at the entrance to my Vijay, and after navigating that we both felt exhausted and more ready for sleep than anything else!! cheesygrinI have been with my husband since I was fifteen years old, so its not like we are newlyweds or anything...

      It is good that your husband is supportive, not all of them are... 

  • sandra01720
    sandra01720 Guppy007

    Posted

    Years ago before I knew I had LS, I was so itchy on clitoris. I would scratch and have sore irritated clitorus when I went to have sex. But then had lots of good years with just an annoying itch. No pain.

    Since my June diagnosis, I'm struggling with issues of clitorus that interfere with sex. Sometimes it's very sensitive. I've been depressed about how it's affected our sex life. Sex was very special; it seemed to iron out some marital tension. My vagina is usually ok, but my LS has moved and involves more areas than a year ago.

    Question: does saliva from oral sex irritate the clitoris? I'm suspicious it does. Unfortunately.

    Sorry. TMI

    Thankfully, I have an understanding husband that loves me enough that he doesn't want to hurt me.

    • Guppy007
      Guppy007 sandra01720

      Posted

      Sandra, I think oral sex is probably causing you irritation because you are specifically having problems in that area,  it probably isn't the saliva. I don't have a problem with it, I am fine.,   But it makes sense that if you are super sensitive down there then the slightest touch or wetness is going to give you problems.  I think once your clitoris is back to how it normally is you should be fine,  that's my thoughts anyway.   I do remember your posts regarding your clitoris, are you still using Clob and how often?  Is it not any better at all?
    • sandra01720
      sandra01720 Guppy007

      Posted

      I am not on clob. He has me on betamethasone. Started out with cream but I couldn't tolerate it on clitoris so I requested the ointment, which I had success with. The clitoris was healing steadily it seemed. In fact, I hardly had any problems down there anymore. Then I got careless and had a wild 2 weeks of enjoying sugary treats! Had a birthday and was given chocolate and I just binged!! Wow! Am I paying! It's so totally NOT worth it. I'm flaring again and my clitoris is driving me to distraction. Feel semi arroused which makes me feel I need to urinate. I feel awful with the sensations down there. Back to shedding my tears again. Putting my steroid ointment on again and changing my diet. Live and learn. Sometimes I just want to be normal again!

      Thanks for your input. It was an important part of our sex life.

    • sandra01720
      sandra01720

      Posted

      I am applying the steroid to my clitoris every night right now and I also did this morning. But i wasn't putting it on clitoris much before that after I had gotten it to a satisfactory state. Maybe I let up too long between treatment.
    • Guppy007
      Guppy007 sandra01720

      Posted

      The clitoris is my problem area.   It flares up every now and then, and I just apply the cream twice a day, usually for a week. It is unpleasant, especially when it feels tender, but I think you just have to do it. Then I am usually fine until the next time..it takes a week for me, but you may need much longer.
    • Guppy007
      Guppy007 sandra01720

      Posted

      Ah! it is a shock to discover that sugar really is the key, I could hardly believe it myself!!  This is good though Sandra, because you now know, and know what to avoid.  I know what it is like as the clitoris seems to be the area that gives me most trouble.  All you have to do is cut out the sugar, and resume the treatment and you should be fine.
    • Guppy007
      Guppy007 sandra01720

      Posted

      When I am feeling like my clitoris is feeling better, I dont stop treatment, I usually continue on for another two or three days, just to be on the safe side.
    • sandra01720
      sandra01720 Guppy007

      Posted

      Thanks Guppy. I should prob continue steroid longer than I want to, I see!and, yes, sugar REALLY does matter!!
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