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Sex drive

Posted , 10 users are following.

Jokey
Jokey

Hi, any ideas anyone on how to get the sex drive back during menapause. Don't really know who to talk to about this so after joining the other discussion thought I would ask on here. It's worrying me a lot although my husband is very understanding I feel guilty, yes that is the word. Then I feel well I already have enough to contend with. Any thoughts ladies?

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  • Woo3353
    Woo3353 Jokey

    Posted

    Lack of testosterone causing sex drive to go , yes the male hormone we have it too just enough to get the urge, during menopause it hits rock bottom through doctor can help but don't know any supplements they will help

  • LM2114
    LM2114 Jokey

    Posted

    I completely understand your feeling, 4 months ago I was feeling a lot of desire, more than normal for me actually, but it lasted only two cycles and then I started to feel very dry everywhere, and I haven't been able to feel any desire anymore!!! Will it ever come back?? I feel the guilt like you, I am sorry I can't help...

    • Jokey
      Jokey LM2114

      Posted

      Well thankyou for your comment I am sorry for you but I must say I have never spoken to anyone who feels the guilt and you do if you really love someone and have been with them for 40 years ( we were teenagers when we met). So thank you so much you are helping me just to know you care
  • dee53012
    dee53012 Jokey

    Posted

    what else are you contending with in your life, maybe the stress level is making your sex drive less?  How old are you two? Maybe your husband is not that worried about it either, maybe his sex drive is lower as well. have you asked him? are you have any other symptoms that may be contributing to it, like dry vagina? Maybe you just need some romance and spice in your life! My mind is racing with all sorts of fun ideas!
    • Jokey
      Jokey dee53012

      Posted

      Ha ha! Thanks for that Dee. Yeah we have a lot of stress at the moment and I am still suffering a lot from the hot flushes. I have talked to him and he said he doesn't have the sex drive he used to but trust me he is lying a bit just to be kind, but he never puts any guilt on me. I have thought we need to get the old romance back but I don't sleep so good now, wake up early and yes you know what I am going to say I am shattered by nine o'clock. Any ideas welcome. I am 56 by the way( I know we should be over all that now)😃😃.

    • dee53012
      dee53012 Jokey

      Posted

      Here are some ideas, but don't do them all in the same day smile

      leave him little love notes taped to the mirror or in his wallet or a coat pocket . . .don't forget to kiss it with lipcolor first and if you wear perfume, a little sprits!

      Think of the things you did that made you both giggle when you first started dating.  

      love pat his rear when he walks by and a wink.

      Smile at him for a long time until he notices

      buy him flowers/send to his work if possible.

      take a walk with him with the intention of telling him how much you care and appreciate him. when walking, if you se a flower, propose to him.  

      romance him!  It will wake both of you up, if you know what I mean 😋

      I was with my husband for 10 years, he and I had the most wonderful relationship.  Sadly he passed in 2010. When I think of all the things we did and shared, the romance, the tenderness. . .  💞

      I hope you two start having some fun!  

      You can be in bed and play without having sex too.  Forplay can last for days or weeks! Don't worry, as soon as you two start playing again, your drive's will come back.  

      Anyone else out there have some easy romantic things they do for their sweetie?

       

    • dee53012
      dee53012 colleen90305

      Posted

      thank you. 

      But did you like the ideas to bring back romance?  

    • Jokey
      Jokey dee53012

      Posted

      So sorry Dee. Thank you for taking the time to help me, it is really appreciated. I will try some of your suggestions but we do have foreplay

      , I think he likes that best, lol! 😁😁 I do lots of romantic things for him and he is happy (family stress is spoiling it too at the moment)I understand your relationship, ours has always been like that too. We were childhood sweethearts and we have never lost our love for each other. Would you like to meet someone else or could no one ever compare? When we were young he carried me up a hill on his back and we couldn't stop laughing maybe we should try that again, what do you think?😂😂

    • colleen90305
      colleen90305 dee53012

      Posted

      Yes, but I've Bern single awhile now. I'm not actively looking for a man because my self esteem has vanished in peri! I used to be so confident, outgoing and now I feel so blah and have to wait for this to end before I even consider a new man. I'm afraid this maybe yearssad

    • dee53012
      dee53012 colleen90305

      Posted

      One day at a time . . .

      Been single since 2010.  It took some getting used to, but staying single and figuring it out on my own has been pretty wonderful. It gives me self esteme to be single.  

      Did I ask you if you got a celiac test? It's the most common, underdiagnosed autoimmune disease in our country and growing world wide from what I have heard. I tell everyone who is exceedingly tired to be tested.  Has your iron and thyroid been checked? I can't rememerb what everyone wrote here.

    • dee53012
      dee53012 Jokey

      Posted

      I have friends who say sex is over rated, I suppose it is all in your attitude.  It's not the end of the world if you don't have sex or have it less often. I found when my husband was too sick to have sex that our relationship actually became closer, but of course he was dying; conversations shifted to deeper more meaningful things.

      As for me, I have tried dating, but no one is near as kind as he; I have stopped looking.  Because I have celiac disease and PM, I am not healthy enough to be dating.  I do miss the snuggling on the sofa, chatting.  I miss watching documentaries, going to the film festivals, going to little concerts in the park, washing dishes together, the little love notes, but mostly, holding his hand and the twinkle in his eye when he looked at me, even on his death bed I felt his deep love and gratitude.  I will never forget it.  

      Heavy sigh.  Love is great, till it ends.

       It is so wonderful when I see or hear about happy, respectful couples.  Thank you,

      D  

    • dee53012
      dee53012 colleen90305

      Posted

      May I give you some advise?  Don't look for a man when you feel badly about yourself, wait till you are feeling better, when you can put a smile on your face without trying.

      What I recommend is to do things alone at least once a week.  I did things I never would have dreamed of, like gardening classes, rain water redistribution classes, cooking classes at a healthfood store, painting and drawing classes (i am not an artist), i'd go downtown and talk with homeless folks and listen to their heart breaking stories, volunteer at a local food bank, go to movies, yoga, reiki, and i joined groups I found on line.

      our self esteme will rise when you build confidence, you build confidence by doing hard things and accomplishing tasks!  Have fun!  And always know you are awesome.  If you don't belevie it say it anyway, "I AM AWESOME"  and you are smile

    • Jokey
      Jokey dee53012

      Posted

      Dee, sounds like you had a wonderful relationship and it makes

      my heart feel sad to hear that it has ended for you this way.

      I love my husband so much and he me. The fact that we have been together

      since we were 16 and still feel this way is a special thing I know and he puts

      no pressure on me as we enjoy so many other things together as you

      and your husband did, but I know he enjoys the sex side of it and I

      want to please him. I don't know how I would cope without him, you

      must stay strong, you are an inspiration to us.

      We do the dishes together every day too, he says it is what keeps our

      relationship so good😁😁 I think that dishwashers are breaking

      couples up lol😂

    • dee53012
      dee53012 Jokey

      Posted

      i think you are on to something! LOL!

      K people, listen up!  if you are having trouble in your marriage, go wash dishes together!

      Thank you smile

    • colleen90305
      colleen90305 dee53012

      Posted

      Geezzzzz Dee, I just saw your msg to me! Only 10 days since you wrote it. Sorry about this. I agree! Im not even looking for a man because I've lost my self confidence, and much more. I'm 48 and don't want to be alone forever, but the good news is, I'm pretty independant and work a lot and have friends I like to hang out with. A man would be nice, but not until I'm well again. Thank you for your advice👍

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