Should patients waiting for surgery be stopped from having someone with them

This is indeed a very important discussion which holds a lot of relevance. Actually when we face such an event it’s quite obvious to get frightened because going into a hospital is always quite undesirable. A patient’s emotional state must never be overlooked at this time. Despite saying so we must also know that the doctor has the patient’s best interests at the forefront. Thus it should be done on the basis of a mutual settlement. It’s true that before going for a surgery a patient gets nervous and may wish to be accompanied be it by a relative or friend. On the other hand by doing so we must not commit something that will become a cause of concern for the physician.

Hi Donna,

I am sorry that you and your husband had such an awful experience. Surgery is a time when people can feel at their most vulnerable. I have to be honest though, I think before a surgery, the person having it should be left alone. I live in the Isle of Man and if you are having a day case surgery, partners are allowed to stay with you for an hour to help you settle in, and then they must leave. After surgery they can stay with you until it is time to go home. I liked it that way as my husband was more nervous than I was. Also, with day cases, the wards tend to be smaller and it is better for the anaesthetists and surgeons when they make their pre op rounds. I also had a bigger surgery not that long ago and the same went with regards to an hour to help the patient settle in, and then my husband was allowed straight up to see me afterwards (which was out of visiting hours). I noticed that somebody who had to wait until later on in the day for their op was allowed their partner to visit during normal visiting hours but then they had to leave. Nobody seemed to be too upset with the arrangements BUT, and this is a huge but, we were all told that this is how it would work before surgery so there were no nasty surprises which seems to be what you and your husband had which I think is unfair. If it had been explained to you would and your husband have felt any differently about the situation?

I have to be honest, I am more with derek, Sue and House on this one - I got tons of support off the other patients rather than my husband, but I think there should be some room for negotiation if a person is extremely distressed at the prospect of surgery, for both yourself and blue. Surely there must be some halfway measure that is suitable for all. Would you have been happy if you had been able to have him with you but stayed in a day room waiting?

I have got surgery coming up (again!) next year as I have bilateral cataracts which they are going to do at the same time (I am in a wheelchair anyway so won't be too bad) and I know my husband is already nervous about it. I would rather him at home with our children to take his mind off it (I am in my 30's) so I can just relax beforehand and let the staff do their thing. Having him there afterwards is what matters more to me.

I think redcross has nailed it - getting support without being intrusive to both staff and other patients is the best way to look at it in my opinion.

I hope everyone's surgeries were successful and I am terribly sorry for your loss derek, she definitely earned her wings too early at 22.

Foxtrotsierra:

Good luck with your bilateral cataract procedure. I had my first cataract done three weeks ago and am totally amazed at the sight in that eye as I have been short sighted since the age of 12.

It is an unbelievably simple procedure. I got there at 8am, had it done at 9.45 and was on my way home by 10.30. I just can't wait to have the second one done. I regard you as fortunate in having a bilateral procedure.

There was the possibility of a complication with my procedure as I had been taking the alpha blocker Tamsulosin for my enlarged prostate up till having had Thulium Laser surgery on my prostate in May.

Tamsulosin can cause Intraoperative floppy iris syndrome.

If any male readers take Tamsulosin they should get their GP/Urologist to change them to Alfuzosin that does not have that effect and does not cause blurred eyesight or cataracts to worsen. Unfortunately not many doctors know that.

One bit of advice.. ask them to prescribe the (expensive) single use eye drops to use after the operation as they do not have a preservative in them. The preservative dried my eye causing irritation and a follow up visit to the eye clinic. They then gave me moisturising eye drops to use as well rather than the initial eye drops. Cheapskates:-)

Derek -

Thank you very much for your reply - I will definitely take your advice with regards to the eye drops into consideration. If they won't give them to me on the NHS I will just go private for that prescription. I was offered to have my eyes done separately but as I am already in a wheelchair I thought it would make sense getting them done together - just one prep for the op etc.

Going back to what Donna said about having someone with you before an op - I definitely don't want my husband with me for too long beforehand as my eyesight is deteriorating really quickly and I get quite unnerved with people I don't know round me. I will be more than happy for the staff to do their thing and then see (pun totally intended) him after!

I am sorry that you had to go through such anexperience. Whenever we are in a hospital particularly surgery, it is a time that we want to have close people around us since we all feel very weak on such occasions. Years ago I myself had the same experience which was horrible. I understand that while doing these types of medical surgeries, the doctor needs to be extremely alert and hence they don’t want any kind of disturbance but the patient’s concern must also be taken into consideration. The patient must have someone close people at the critical time who’d stand by his/her side. Anyway, I just hope you won’t go through such a traumatic anymore in your life.

All the best,

I had my second cataract operation last week. Of the six other patients two were extremely nervous and had family with them though each had a cataract done previously. They knew how simple a procedure it was but that made no difference to their anxiety.

We were then told that we had all moved up a place as one person had decided not to stay and had done a runner.

Hi I have recently had the same experience and decided to create this petition. I was stopped from going with my wife to the anethetists room even even though i was told before that i would be able to.

http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/57838

Adding some additional information to this thread. Some of these go back to 1996. This issues has been ongoing for a number of years and still there are no policies in place to deal with patient/family requests to accompany there loved ones. Obviously there needs to be controls in place to ensure safety and comfort for all, but this has not been the case. The "losers" currently are the family members that are left wondering "whats happening" in the waiting room, or kept in the dark during investigations because another person feels that they may not be able to handle the truth. Most people deal with the truth surprisingly well and you only have to look at childbirth to confirm this. Partners and more are allowed to be present for this, my son was born back to back with the cord round his neck twice. I was there for the whole birth and saw the fantastic way the nurses dealt with the situation. They were brilliant and i cant thank them enough.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8771421

http://www.nursingtimes.net/are-visi...062983.article

http://med.psu.edu/c/document_librar...groupId=307082

http://www.epmonthly.com/cme/cme-arc...resuscitation/

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People have the right to be treated humanely, institution staff can be so rude, but if everyone got together and pushed for changes then things would be more relaxed.