Signed off for two weeks - feel like I've failed
Posted , 7 users are following.
Hi lovely folks
The psychotherapist has said I need more time off. I took four days off originally and have been back for around three weeks but its just not getting better but worse. I am feeling like I've failed. I can't think straight and the anxiety is so high all the time making it impossible to function properly at work. I am so upset I couldn't just keep going and worry I'll never be okay again. Has anyone else had to go back off after trying to get back in to work? I really feel at a loss and that I may never get better again
0 likes, 22 replies
ruth08109 rachael16649
Posted
Years ago, when I was first suffering from anx/dep, I had this experience. I had a breakdown, and had five weeks off my teaching job, then went back. But it was a very pressured school and I lasted half a term and then was off sick for the last two weeks of the school year.
It does happen. Don't be disheartened, you were probably anxious to get back and feeling guilty for having time off.
However, you're unwell. That's what you have to remember. If you had a back injury, you'd be off for ages. What you have is a disregulated nervous system, and that requires time and patience to heal, so you have to treat yourself gently.
With regards to not being able to do your job: I still do the same job that was part of the trigger for my anxiety/depression. And this is 15 years after my first breakdown. My job hasn't changed, I'm still a teacher, but I have changed certain things about the way I do it. Eg I know which kinds of schools I can't work in, because I find them too stressful. I work part time, to ensure adequate time for me. You may well stick at the same type of challenging job forever...... And you may find different ways to approach your job, mentally eg I just refuse to take things as seriously as I did before. Nobody is going to die if I haven't marked their book /done everything perfectly. I still work hard, but I put my mental health first.
You'll get back to work in good time. Just do your best to rest up now.
PS the higher the dosage on anti dep, the greater the side effects risk. So am not surprised you're feeling anxious. Give it another few weeks to settle.
ruth08109 rachael16649
Posted
Whilst you're off, try to find something to occupy your mind. Something creative might be good 😊
rachael16649 ruth08109
Posted
Thank you so much Ruth. I find reading one of the most useful things and exercise. What things did you do to cope when you were off? Did you worry you'd never be better again?
ruth08109 rachael16649
Posted
I was constantly worry g I would never be better again. I did a lot of watching netflix, lots of housework, and lots of going for long walks around the park.
I was totally convinced that this was it, I'd damaged myself beyond.
And now I'm feeling so much better.
rachael16649 ruth08109
Posted
So pleased to hear that Ruth
It is so easy to feel damaged beyond repair. In fact those were the very thoughts going through my head this evening even though I've been here before and fully recovered. Our brains are odd things!