Slight breakdown at the doctors

Posted , 7 users are following.

so my sick note runs out tomorrow that the hospital gave me when I was discharged so off to the doctors today. I was just talking to her about how things were going and then I just broke down in tears completely out of character for me. I guess it just brought it home what you have actually gone through and how far you've still got to go for a full recovery. She's now started me on amitriptyline for nerve pain I've been getting at night, she said it will help with my mood. I'm really not in a good place at the moment. Chico I'm the person in the boat at the moment on your recovery expectations picture. I just can't get my head round how one day your ROM feels really good I mean yesterday I was pushing at 100 degrees today I'm lucky to reach 80. Hopefully after a good nights sleep tonight I might feel better tomorrow

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  • Posted

    It really is hard work, we all have good days and bad days, the goods days will get more and more. Keep smiling we are all backing each other
  • Posted

    Oh dear! But good to get it out...

    Yes, it's not good when it dawns on you how long it will take... and its a trough but once you do accept it i reckon things will feel better.

    Is there a project of some kind you could engage in in order to give yourself something else to focus on?

    Something you could do while resting but which you might become absorbed with?

    It may help make the time feel more purposeful.?

    • Posted

      Well it is Christmas so plenty to keep myself occupied. I have to say I took the amitiptyline last night and I didn't wake up once with nerve pain, fingers crossed it improves my mood. I'm going out for the next few days so lots of things to look forward to, Christmas meal this afternoon, a friends 50th birthday party on Friday and Saturday going to see a show.  Just hope my knee can keep up 😋

    • Posted

      Better sleep is bound to help.

      How is it with the swelling?

      Try and keep that down as much as possible.

      I found lying on back with legs up against the wall...extreme elevation, good.

      However, if you are out partying too much, that might happen naturally!

    • Posted

      Swelling is better since I've been using the KT tape. Just been out for a meal and it swelled a bit but didn't need to use the stick x

  • Posted

    Snoozy69,

    I feel your pain (literally). There have been many days I've broken down and cried but have done them in private. I just can't bear letting anyone see me like that. I just started working again and feel worse then before because I'm realizing how much I CAN'T do. I work as a veterinary technician and was able to carry 100 pound dogs, now I can't even get up and down the stairs.

    Everyone says "Be patient" "It takes time" but its so much harder then people think. My best advice is when you have those down days, go with it. Let yourself cry and cry hard, you will feel better afterwards. Crying is actually therapeutic. On the days you feel good, make sure you eat that feeling up. Get out with friends, dress up, really enjoy the day. Our recovery is a roller coaster ride and we just have to go with the ups and downs knowing that in the long run we will be better and stronger then before. And also know that there is a group of people right here that "get it". We're here for you!

    • Posted

      Thanks for your reply. I don't normal cry not even at sad films so it took me by surprise. I have to be at least 90% fit before returning to work  my doctor wants me to see the consultant again before returning and I see him on the 4th January x

    • Posted

      That's is such wise advice!

      It is a immensely challenging experience. Feeding the good parts but not denying the bad,!

  • Posted

    Hi Snoozy, I completely understand where you are coming from. I feel exactly the same. I rarely cry but am almost 6 weeks post op and I think there have been about 5 days that I haven’t cried! Sometimes I have had full on meltdowns. 

    You will get there. It’s so hard to see how far we have come when there’s still a long way to go. I naively thought that I would be ok in 6 weeks just as my mother was. 

    I’m finding the staying in difficult. I cannot drive and find it hard to walk or stand too long. I only have a 55 degree bend which doesn’t help! 

    Keep going  but have a little cry if needed. 

    • Posted

      I used to watch comedy to make me laugh, and then if I watched something just a little bit sad I can remember crying which I don't normally do! Both are helpful I think...

      Trauma tends to result in a bit of disconnect between body and emotion I think, so anyone post op from a major op needs a good laugh and a good cry on a regular basis! 😃😄😟😰😭😭😄😃

    • Posted

      I agree Jenny. I’m usually a strong positive person who is always on the go and supports others in my line of work, however, this has knocked me for 6!  I’m even crying at adverts and Christmas songs! I love this time of year and am usually a busy bee preparing and I stupidly feel like I’m missing out! 

      For some reason I can’t focus on anything but will try a comedy later. It’s good to know other people really understand. 😊

  • Posted

    I  broke down on the phone to my Doctor the other day as she wasn't happy to put me through or more physio. I am 10 weeks post op and still cant straighten or leg lift. I am paying privately for a physio but it seems silly that the NHS after spending nearly £12,000 on my op weren't prepared to give me the physio to make it all worthwhile! I had to stop my HRT prior to the op and went back on it last week as feeling very emotional. I do break down in front of my family but mostly when I'm on my own. They cannot understand how I am feeling. Before the op I was outdoor all day and riding horses....now I am sitting in unable to straighten leg or bend more than 100 at a push and my whole life has turned upside down. Cant imagine I will ever get back to normal. Knee so tight and painful despite cryo cuff daily still. I know I am getting there gradually. I have driven once but my car cought fire so I am without a car at the moment! Am going to try and sit on my horse this weekend and go for a hack in the woods. Doctor and physio have ok'd this...just hope I can get on and off! If I can get a bit of my life back I should feel a bit brighter. Friends and family have been great and are always popping round and taking me out. I have joined a health club with my daughter ,who was off work to look after me and am trying to swim/float every other day so I have a change of scene. I know that those of us on this forum are the ones who's ops have not gone to plan, hence the need to join such a forum, but I'm so pleased I found it as I know that I am not alone!

    • Posted

      Crying worked,,,,,they did authorise more physio! smile
    • Posted

      Morning Teela,

      glad physio was authorised. Do you find it helps? I struggle with physio as I feel that they think I'm not trying hard enough to bed. I can straighten well but it's the bend. Try not to worry about the lack of lift. I have had previous operations and the ability to lift leg always seemed to have come last but had come

      im glad you are getting lots of support. My family have been amazing but all work long hours. Mu partner does worry about how low I seem to feel.

      i have that very tight feeling you describe too.  Like you, I am an extremely active person but at moment I would just settle for being able to go for walk. Hope hack in woods goes well for you. Will be great to get back to something you enjoy

      take care 

    • Posted

      Exercising in water is excellent, I had two ankle floats I used to increase resistance.

      Great about the physio!

      Ask him or her to give you some exercises to do in the pool,!

    • Posted

      Hi Jenny. Good to hear this. Tomorrow is my 6 week check. I’m going to ask if I can go to pool. 
    • Posted

      As long as incision all sealed up it is fine. If not sure wait another weak or so. Bit of a step of Faith actually getting into the pool..but once you are in it is heaven, just the lack of gravity!

      Be careful walking on the wet floor! 😮😞

      I took pain relief first as I wanted to make sure I had a good time...I love water and I needed it psychologically to be a good experience!

      I threw how odd I must look to the wind and was exercising in pool twice a week from around 7 weeks to now, which is 9 months! Still do a few things though not as much as I did! I feel it made such a difference I would actually say it was essential to my rehabilitation.

      Stretching also doesn't seem to be mentioned as much as the bending and straightening, but again I think it is vital.

      Still do that a lot. Love yoga!

      I read somewhere that the muscles actually work a bit differently in the water...something to do with the lack of gravity.

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