Slight breakdown at the doctors

Thank you for this advice.  Usually such a positive person and like you have an numerous operations but this one has really affected me more than any other. 

I’ve previously mentioned that I’m struggling with flexion and I think I’m guilty of doing what you said and I’m just laying there worrying about not being able to do it. It then becomes a vicious cycle.  Will read the article now. 

I guess I'm just grieving for the temporary loss of my life which I know I will get back and hopefully it will be better than before. Chico I'm am aware that there are people out there worse off than myself I work on an intensive care unit, so I see people fighting for their life everyday and the effect it has in their families. Believe me it makes me appreciate what I have and I don't waste my life saying I'm going to do this and that.....I just do it because you don't know what is round the corner. I live for the now and have no expectations of the future there is no point. Don't get me wrong you can plan things to make life more comfortable. Your circumstances in life can change in a heart beat so I don't want to look back on my life saying I wish I had done this and that.

sue x

Snoozy, you have summed up exactly how I feel! It’s the loss of what you had albeit you know it’s temporary.  Being active is a huge part of who I am. I see people walking outside wrapped up and I want to be one of them. The rationale part of me knows it will come back but the depressed part of me who can’t go out feels it all the more. 

I know life will improve. At moment I will settle for a bend of 90 and being able to walk! Wish u well in your recovery. Hope today is a better day. 

Oh I'm feeling lot better than I did on Wednesday then again I've been out three days on the trot with different friends. Today I've had a rest day watching the rugby on the tele with my leg elevated and iced sitting in front of my log burner it's been bliss. My flexion is stuck at 85 where it's been since week 5 although I can push it to 110 after I've done all my ROM exercises the trouble is it doesn't stay there so in the morning it's back at 85. I'm just going to enjoy Christmas now and continue with my exercises. 

Wishing you  a full recovery x

My wife was a psych nurse for 30 years and had to retire after her brain aneurysm surgery and two strokes in 2010...plus my first wife died from breast cancer in 1983 when we were 34...our daughter was 5.  The TKR was the hardest op I've had to deal with because I expected to bounce back from it instantly...like my 28 others in the past 18 years.  I expected that all of my previous experiences and those of my family would render me immune to the physical and emotional repercussions of the op.  I was very much mistaken.  Then, 8-months post-op, just when I thought I had it licked, I got bi-lateral stenosis at L2/L3 knocking me completely down again.  After all the tests and scheduling issues, finally got an LLIF fusion months later.  This delayed all my knee rehab and strengthening work.

You literally have to take life one day at a time.  Even now, that the knee is pretty much done, I'll be dealing with more spine surgery (after one laminectomy and two fusions).  Recent lower back pain led my neuro to order another lumbar MRI after which I got a call from his nurse: "Dr. Ellis would like to see you next week to discuss your options."  Doesn't sound like a clean bill of health, does it?  I just laughed because you cannot take any of this seriously...

Maybe they should just shoot me now and drag the carcass to the glue factory...  I'm worth more in the 4 1/2 pounds of precious metals I have in me than I am alive...  Wait, can't do that.  After 7+ years of extreme depression following the aneurysm, my wife was admitted to a psych unit and now I have to drive her once a week to get her the electroshock therapy treatments her psychiatrist ordered.  Can't die just yet...have too much to do...

Bless you Chico you truly are an inspiration it's your words of wisdom that have made me finally except that my knee will better when it wants to be I'm just hoping its sooner rather than later. I've started talking to it nicely to encourage it to heal 😂.  I guess some people are dealt worse cards than others but the important thing is how you deal with things. You can either adapt and except the life you've been given or mope about moaning about it which makes you miserable and everyone around you. I wish you and your wife better health in the future.

sue x

"Neo, sooner or later you're going to realize just as I did that there's a difference between knowing the path and walking the path." - Morpheus, The Matrix

Glad you have had better days. This journey is def full of ups and downs. I am at 60 degrees. I have 3 weeks to get to 90 before I have to have an MUA! I’m trying hard. I have been out today which was lovely. Will rest tomorrow x

Yes, you put it very well. ..the temporary loss of your life.

And it is a real grief. ..

With adjusted expectations, you can look forwards. Those expectations take some shifting...they don't move easily.

It is frustrating to not do what you expected to do right now, but you are doing so amazingly well...

I am looking forward to your update at six months...which I am hoping you will write... there will be a time you look back on this!

It's is crazy, this recovery process, but it is happening and it will pass. Just annoyingly, taking its own time!

Sending good wishes your way!

Opportunities to talk in person about how you feel are vital. I trust you are taking them, you sound like someone able to be honest and connected with how you feel. Draw on those you have around you for all the moral support you need.

Yes Jenny I learnt the hard way about bottling things up ended up with reactive depression. I had a serious melt down after a very challenging night shift and it took me three months to get myself back to work. That was about 9 years ago now and. I vowed I would never go back to that dark place called depression and I learnt the importance of talking about how you feel. I've got some  good friends who give really good advice about how to deal with things. 

Do you know what since I've had this operation I'm seriously considering a career change and going into orthopaedics to help other people who have knee replacements. I'm so disappointed in the advise given to me by so called nurse specialists on this subject they didn't really tell me anything of use.

im a big believer in fate and I believe things happen for a reason. Maybe this is the reason that I have gone through this experience so that I can help others going through the same thing. Well it's just a thought 😃

From what other people have said MUA has been ok and improved range of movement. If that is what I end up having I will just except it and work hard with the rehabilitation x

That would be a very interesting result!

😀

I was so touched by my positive hospital experience that I joined the patients forum at the orthopaedic centre I had my operation at, to try and give a little bit back into the system, and as you know, wrote my very long story too in my blog, in the hope it might be useful to others.

This TKR has also changed my art working a lot...bit of a shock, that two year run up to TKR... I am painting BIG paintings now.... Because I can! I can stand and walk...😃

I think there might be the worry I need to do it while I can...before the magic carpet is pulled away again and I maybe have pain and disability again, however, the main thing is I have a new lease of life now...and it took a lot of time, but it is worth it...really very well worth it!

Sometimes the darkness in our lives turns to pure gold.

Glue?

It would be super glue, I guess?

Hey, but you wouldn't make music...

Nah, stick around! 😁😀