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I have had bouts of anxiety and depression (they feed into ones other of course) for much of my life, and stopped drinking alcohol a year ago because I was drinking too much and that was becoming more of a problem than the other problems. I proudly came off citalopram 6 months ago, and have so many reasons NOT to be anxious or depressed, you could say that my life has never been more stable than it is now.
About 2 weeks ago I started feeling ill again, indescribably tired, tearful, scared, feelings of doom, feeling that I'm a terrible mother, useless at my job, not a good partner, struggling to do the smallest tasks - they feel like massive jobs etc etc. I recognise that these might mean I'm depressed, but can't understand why - all the bad stuff I had in my life has gone. What I'm really asking for advice with is that I feel like my body is constantly vibrating, all over and all the time. I sit there almost listening to my body - it is so frightening and sends me into a panic attack. Accompanying this are aches and pains in every limb, really sore arms and fingers, so bad I can cry from it. I wonder if I'm causing these aches by sitting so tensely and trapping nerve signals down my arms? I've googled every neurological disease known to man, and have self-diagnosed MS, motor-neurone, cancer, brain tumours and more. I dare to go to my GP incase he tells me I have got one of these illnesses and couldn't go along anyway as he'd think I was crazy when I list a dozen random complaints. I'd just sound like a hypochondriac.
Please, can anyone put my mind at ease by telling me that the vibrating and aches aren't a life threatening illness but can be caused by anxiety? I'd still feel dreadful but it would help me to calm down. I feel so alone and scared at the moment, spend hours and hours sitting in fear, tears rolling down my cheeks for nothing. I have to keep going for my 3 kids and responsible job but feel like running away and giving in to it all. I feel as if I could crack at any moment and that I'm hanging onto life by my fingertips. Could my depression be back and about this cause trembling and several other physical complaints? Sorry to go on. Thank you.
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