So angry with myself
Posted , 11 users are following.
Hi all, after 11 weeks of no drinking I have slipped back into my old ways of drinking (mostly daily). I feel so angry at myself and can feel I'm slipping back to depression. Can anyone suggest any sites I can look at in relation to the way the brain reacts or works in regards to drinking alcohol, (think I saw something a while ago on here). Tia
0 likes, 25 replies
PaulJTurner1964 ann08328
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ann08328 PaulJTurner1964
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RHGB ann08328
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You are correct in looking for an understanding of how your body and brain have been affected, to best combat alcohol. A quick link to look at just explaining post acute withdrawal symtomps is this site.
Google 'post acute withdrawal symptoms' and choose the third result down called alcoholrehab (posts with links get automatically moderated). Someone else will came along with a more indepth site.
There is a book that I can recommend that goes into some depth about it, again I can't post links, so PM if needed.
The top and bottom of it is though, that your brain and body has been changed by alcohol and now sees alcohol as the norm, without alcohol, it senses something is wrong and sends you a message that it needs alcohol.
The best way to combat it is medication - now believe me, I'm not one for taking medication unless I really need to, but for alcohol withdrawal, you really need the help of medication to help the body/mind to adjust back to normal. It allows the balance to return to normal and helps with that craving.
There are two main meds. One for abstinence and one/two for adjusting your drinking down to lower levels. I can see by your point count that you have posted before, but it may help if you remind us a bit about your history and what it is you're trying to acheive, i.e. complete stop or safe drinking.
ann08328 RHGB
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RHGB ann08328
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There are two types of drinker, one that drinks for reasons of stress, anxiety, depression etc, to overcome some pyschological condition. The second is some that likes it for the buzz, purely addicted to the buzz. Now that is not to say category a) does not like the buzz as well, but that it is not their primary driver. You seem to fall into category a).
I take it that with the kids that there is a Mr.Ann somewhere. If so, do you get support there?
In the grand scheme of things, one bottle of a wine a day is not a lot (Cue Joanna to come and metophorically smack me across the knuckles for saying that). And if you managed nearly 3 months without drinking and being able to stop under your own steam, then you are not alcohol dependent.
Are you looking to stop completely, have a break or just reduce the frequnecy and amount?
emma84640 RHGB
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RHGB emma84640
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If they don't respond, you can complain to your local council Drug and Alcohol Action Team (DAAT) and if they don't respond then they are responsible to the local MP.
I know most people aren't quite as forthright as me, but I would be straight back there and asking them if they are refusing to supply medication if you don't go abstinent. If they say yes, tell them what further steps you are going to take and do they want to reconsider.
emma84640 RHGB
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ann08328 RHGB
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I am looking to stop drinking completely, as when I don't drink I feel amazing, I know what you are saying about the one bottle of wine because I went to a couple of aa meetings and felt I didn't "fit in". I do have support from my husband but I'm quite a lonely person really and tend to try and deal with things myself.
ADEfree ann08328
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Look up Alcohol Deprivation Effect on the web, it explains why some quit and then relapse, time and time again, with each relapse worse than the one before. While most of the reports/studies have been done on lab rats, it can be seen to affect humans too. For some, there's a part of the brain that's programmed to seek alcohol and it will not respond to logic or reason. That part of the brain only knows of habits, but doesn't know the difference between a good habit and a bad habit. Unless care is taken to erase or neutralize that "recording" that drives one to drink, relapse is a very likely outcome for all but about 15% of those with Alcohol Use Disorder.
I use The Sinclair Method (TSM) and with little willpower involved, have cut my drinking from about 84 standard US units per week to about 17, over a 3 month period, with further reduction ahead. About 40% who use TSM decide to quit drinking entirely. The important outcome here is that choice in the matter as to when to drink and how much (if any) is restored.
There are other ways of going about it. RHGB uses something called Acamprosate (it requires you to be abstinent before starting). There's a book that goes over the various options, though some of the options aren't available in the UK, it's well worth reading. It's mentioned in the last post in this thread:
https://patient.info/forums/discuss/useful-resources-487627
Considering your family history which you've outlined here, it may well be that you are not one of the 15% that will be able to make do with AA/abstinence approach. I encourage you to research this topic further so you can know what you're really up against. It seems your findings might well be of use to others in your family as well. In any case, best of luck to you and please let me know of I can be of any assistance!
ann08328 ADEfree
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RHGB ann08328
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It is an anti-craving drug. It has no side effects or reacts with other medicines/alcohol. It literally stops you thinking about alcohol.
You are unlikely to get it from your GP, you will need to go to the local alcohol recovery centre and register with them to be prescribed it.
ADEfree ann08328
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Joanna from C3 Europe has written about The Sinclair Method, just for a bit of extra reading material. You can find her article here on Patient:
https://patient.info/health/sinclair-method-for-alcohol-use-disorder
ann08328 ADEfree
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Sober_As ann08328
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I am sorry to hear that you are having a hard time of it. The battle never seems to end, but we just have to keep fighting.
Do you take medication for your Depression?
You have been given some good advice and information, here.
Turn your anger away from yourself... towards the alcohol. I need to take that on board, too !
I am taking Selincro/Nalmefene to help me reduce my drinking.
I wish you well on your course of action. Have you told your Doctor about your drinking level?
Alonangel 🎇
ann08328 Sober_As
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Thanks for your reply, I have spoke with my doctor and I have had counselling.