So here's the deal
Posted , 12 users are following.
I'm mad at my doctor. REALLY mad. REALLY REALLY mad. Is that enogh REALLYS? She and I talked in her office for an hour or more. She was wonderful, let me vent. let me say it all. Gave me the secret code if I need to talk. But I'm still mad. I'm a nice person, but I'm holding onto this anger. I realized yesterday that I'm actually counting up grievances against here. It's like the worst disagreement with your husband, and you have to look at him across the table over the corn flakes in the morning. So yesterday I started comparing this to Elizabeth Kubler-Ross's paridigm in her book Death and Dying, and the stages. There is denial, depression, bargaining, anger, resolution and acceptance. I think with her, my doc, I got stuck in the Anger stage. So I have to either give up my anger at her (but I want to hold onto it) LOL, and allow her to be my doctor as she was pre PMR or find another doctor. You gals who said I'm nice don't realize that I can also be controlling and stubborn. Someone said something yesterday on here that got me thinking about this. I have such an edge even if I have to call the office. This is not helping me at all. It was so helpful yesterday because it made me think about my attitude toward her. My hubster and I talked about it today when we were in the car, and I was really acting like a spoiled brat about her. Time to grow up Elizabeth. But even being able to act it out with him made me realize that it's decision time. Grow up and move on, or change doctors. I think that I'll actually be a grown up, and get over it. LOL. I have a friend and when she's acting like a contrite child she'll call and say that she was actually a grown up today. And she'll tell me what she did. Then we laugh about it. So it's time for me to act like a grown up. If I don't then I have to let her off of the hook, and find a doctor who can help me. I think not calling about the med decrease was part of my acting out. I don't know 'cause I'm just trying all of this out, but it seems like I do need to talk with her. So I called yesterday, and she won't be back until Monday. Drat, and I go to 5 mg. tomorrow. Way too low. So I have to call and talk to the covering physician, and I want her. I want my Mommy. Grow up Elizabeth, or reduce your pred and suffer. Then I can blame her. LOL. Thanks for letting me vent.
0 likes, 35 replies
faye______00403 elizabeth53956
Posted
I love to vent when it has built up and either let it go or explode.
Can't you just stay at current dose until your doc gets back on
Monday?
lodgerUK_NE elizabeth53956
Posted
sheila28713 elizabeth53956
Posted
We've all been there at one time or another. When I have been holding onto anger toward someone, it has really helped me to remember this quote:
'Hangng on to to anger and resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.'
I really hope you take the advice from so many on this forum and do the 'dead slow nearly stop' prednisone reduction, now that you are at 10mg. It has been my experience that the doctors just don't know the importance of a very slow reduction with PMR. In fact, most know very little about PMR. I learned almost 3 years ago that I Needed to be my own advocate with my GP and Rheumy. Please listen to the wisdom of this group.
Sheila
elizabeth53956 sheila28713
Posted
julian. elizabeth53956
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We tend to write blandly that the cause of pmr is unknown and there's no cure, just treatment for symptoms. But its fairly significant as we try to muddle our way around it as best we can. No amount of getting angry at the doctor, ourselves, or anyone else, is going to change it. It simply has to run its course. Though it is nice to get angry (sometimes).
The treatment is a balancing act between the evils of pred side effects and the horror of screaming pain. The doctor will tend towards reducing the pred. The patient may tend towards relief of symptoms.
I find it quite hard to reduce. I know I should, I think I can, but is that another twinge I feel and what happens if it all flares up again. I'm at 3mg/day. Its taken many months. I've gone for weeks saying "tomorrow" but it never comes. That step to 2.5mg seems awful big. Two days of 2.5 this week. Slowly slowly catchee monkee.
My doc is very good. She treads that fine line between encouraging me to reduce while accepting that its both difficult and may be too early. Always advice and encouragement, never an instruction or a demand.
I guess the bottom line is that its not in your doctor's interest to see you suffer. She's doing her best. At the end of the day a reasonable doctor will accept that the step to 5mg now is too fast for you.
elizabeth53956 julian.
Posted
I hope that aside from being frustrated, and angry (at the whole thing, so take it out on the doc) that you could see that it was all processing. That's what is nice about a site like this. I can write it while I process it, and no one, especially the doc who really is working on my side, needs to feel my wrath. It's not at her, but it's situational. Shoot the messenger. With a site like this I was able to work it through, and no one was guilty.
Thanks for the safe and sane words. I didn't realize that the dosage actually gets down to 3 mg. or 2 1/2. Hopefully I'll get there some day.
Yeah I really do think that she is a fine physician, and I like all of the physicians in the practice. They are very cool and relaxed and are on a first name basis with their patients. I've been with the practice for a while, and really like how they practice. And then this happened. Now I can go back to being okay with her, and I am glad that I called the office, and had the dosage increased back to 15 mg. Thanks for your response.
Elizabeth
julian. elizabeth53956
Posted
In a bizarre sort of way I enjoyed part of pred at 15mg. Not the brain fog, or the mood swings. The pred high. I felt I had to warn people I was in "silly mode".
linda17563 elizabeth53956
Posted
I`m waiting to see my Rhemy....I call her the smiling assassin!....all sweet, till I`m in her room, then it`s don`t speak, listen to me....not any more....not standing for it....after this appointment, will be changing to someone else.....onwards and upwards, but directly!
lodgerUK_NE linda17563
Posted
Then watch the change in attitude.
faye______00403 julian.
Posted
the beginning of my trip on pred that I would get "roid rage"
I laughed at her. I think that happened on the anabolic
steroids the body builder used but wouldn't happen on the
cortcosteroids that we get with pred. I may be a little more
testy but put that down to age.
EileenH faye______00403
Posted
Lodger's suggestion of taking a friend really does work - unless they are like my husband...
faye______00403 EileenH
Posted
I too, have gotten more "direct" but put that down to becoming
grumpy old lady......
sheila28713 faye______00403
Posted
I went down to 15 within a couple days and was fine on that.
But oh boy, did I ever have to (try to) refrain from saying exactly what I thought. Truthfully, I never did have much of a filter, but it got seriously worse on Pred. Looking back, I was very unreasonable and intolerant. It was great to be able to blame it on Prednisone. My family treaded carefully - haha.
I love the term "roid rage'! IT is so true.
Sheila
sheila28713 linda17563
Posted
faye______00403 sheila28713
Posted
receptive to reading it.....I'll be interested my next appt to
see what his thoughts are on the info.
lodgerUK_NE faye______00403
Posted
There is no such thing a gol