So insecure!!!
Posted , 18 users are following.
Why do I constantly feel so ugly all the time? I'm so sick of looking at pretty fit young women and hating myself. I imagine my husband wishing I was like that again and he has to constantly tell me that he loves me just the way I am. I just feel old and everyday I want to cry knowing that it's just going to get worse. I get so stupidly jealous thinking my hubby is looking at them when I know it's just my stupid insecurities playing tricks on me. He is very loving and says I still do it for him and always have. I feel bad for him that he has to constantly reassure me. Anybody feel this craziness?????
5 likes, 21 replies
ImagineOneDay laura370
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Yellow88 laura370
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Nancy2121 laura370
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EVERY day almost all day. Undressing to shower is awful! 'Old, fat, and ugly' is what goes thru my head. I am blessed to have a positive, strong, supportive husband. That has been a tremendous help. I'm glad you do too. Some gals aren't so lucky. Hang in there. You're not alone! ?
amy341731 laura370
Posted
jane66356 laura370
Posted
I'm sure he probably notices the pretty, fit young women. So do I (not in the same way
lol...I see them and wish I looked like that again...when I was young, I was very fit and thin...very healthy...not now. But if he gives them a glance, so what? He LOVES you and is still attracted to you.
My husband tells me I look fine too but I sure don't feel like it after gaining 25 lbs and getting flabby on top of it. My belly is all puffed out like I have a beer belly and I don't even drink. I'm sure you notice fit, young men but that doesn't mean that you aren't attracted to and love your husband!
It'll be ok 
jane66356 laura370
Posted
and one final note, I know it's cliché but true beauty is ON THE INSIDE!
Let your beauty shine through!
sn21848 laura370
Posted
Whacked hormones and our body losing tone and collagen plays with our minds. I was never a pretty woman just decent so menopause and postmenopause brought back the same insecurities. It is like being a teenager in an older body and my teen year involved a lot of bullying about my looks.
Make sure you are hormone balanced(even though I never am even with HRT) and check your thyroid. Go to a nutritionist and have him or her tweek your eating style. A health food chain we have in the U.S. has a nutritionist who can give people a free consult. I've been eating from my house mostly and a bit better selection of food even though I have been eating pretty good already and though I haven't really lost weight I feel like there has been a shift. I have been making myself eat more vegetables.
Try not to compare yourself to others. Easily said then done. I do an interest meetup and one day the original organizer who I took over for showed up a meeting. She is about 4 years younger than me. She came in all thin, pretty and sassy. The last two I am not. I instantly felt like a wallflower. I had to talk myself out of a hole the rest of the night. I am 57 and she is about 54. That night or next day I get a message from one of the men at the meetup and he said we should get together in the city we live in for lunch sometime. Now mind you most of the people in my meetup are way younger so after I casually said that sounds good I started to think how old is he. I messaged my friend and she texted me she thought early 40s. Nothing materialized from it but it made me realized that people notice people for different reasons and we are attractive from the inside too. I think what got me noticed was a brief exchange I had with him after someone had asked a question and I laughed at his response.
I just finished a japanese drama where a man mentors a woman on how to get a man. She is in her late 30s which I guess is considered over the hill in Asia. Anyway he says to her after he observes her on a date with an old crush you need to own your age basically. He saw that she took the backseat in the date. Waited on his needs even though she was a confident doctor who had her own business. He said older women possess intellect and they can challenge a man which peaks his interest. So the best thing to do is own what we possess as older women. We have skills, we know things that some younger women don't and we can learn new things we don't have to be stuck doing the same thing.
If I were you I'd start planning dates with your husband even if you feel like crap. Do classy dates and silly dates like hanging out at arcades or ping pong halls. Do stuff you would have done when you were young within reason. I started to go to kpop concerts and that is seriously a young person genre so it used to take all my courage to go to a concert. Flirt with your husband be silly. Fake it until you feel it. As you flirt with him he'll flirt with you and it will boost your confidence. Start together on getting healthier. Make it a couples thing so you both can be hot together. Good luck.
laura370 sn21848
Posted
You are obviously a well educated person and understand others very well. I will do what you suggest and appreciate and thank you for your advice. Everyday I wake up and think "here we go again with the self doubting and insecurity" and dread going anywhere knowing there will be much younger and perkier girls out there making me feel old. I just don't know how much more I can take at times. It's not just the looks either, it's just that they seem so happy and full of hope while I feel like Eeyore all the time...doom and gloom. You definitely give me something to think about though. Hugs!!!
jude84900 laura370
Posted
Hi laura370,
Whens the last time you changed your hair style? Hair color or highlights? As we age weight becomes a problem for all of us and we have to work harder to shed them extra pounds. Believe me, ten pounds lost can make you feel like a new person then updating some clothes can be a big winner too. Keeping updated on styles with clothes and hair can bring much confidence to us women as we age. Yes, we are never going to be 20 again but we can stay young feeling in mind and body by doing some pretty simple stuff. Yes, losing some weight is not easy but can be done. Soon people start noticing, hey, have you lost weight? Gives your mind a big boost as to how you feel about yourself. Not sure your age or if your in menopause or not but a healthy lifestyle and a update on a few things can go a long long way for our outlook. BTW, I am 58, been in menopause for 3 years. About 5 years ago I felt the same as you. Does my husband find me attractive still? Your mind can go crazy on you. I've lost 20 pounds, changed my hairstyle, stay updated on clothes and got myself on bio identical hormones. It has brought my confidence up. Now I don't feel the gloom and doom that menopause brings, "I'm getting old now". Instead I feel like this is just the beginning to the second part of my life. Just some uplifting thoughts for you. Good luck!
linda61015 laura370
Posted
Hi , I’m sorry your feeling so insecure.
I can relate to that as well . I feel very insecure all the time . I feel very fat and unattractive most of the time.
I think we need to appreciate how special we are and try and love ourselves again .
It’s very hard at this time I know.
Lots of love and best wishes
Linda 😀xx
sn21848 laura370
Posted
This is my second post to you. I don't want to make light of your situation. I had to into therapy to deal with the hormone drop and what life threw at me. I even wanted to go into the hospital because of the depression but my doctor at the time told me that because of the state regulations once I got in it would be hard to get back out again right away. At least at that time so I white knuckled it with meds. I think therapy is really helpful.
janet30959 sn21848
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kelly55079 laura370
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I feel insecure and worthless all the time.. I don't want to socialize that much either. I don't know what's with me. I could lose a few pounds but it's impossible for me which makes me feel even lower. I have too keep telling myself it's the hormones that is doing this..
jennifer85442 laura370
Posted
Yuppers! Feeling a wee bit inadequate these days and to make things worse, every night all of my "should haves" race through my brain. And like you, I have no foundation for this. I still look pretty darn good and we've had a pretty good life. Just hormones. Midlife crisis. Lol.
mauiblue laura370
Posted
no im a (he-she) I know that looks are mostly in the attitude and mind, and so with what im going through mentally with low mood, anxiety etc. i have lost the flare, the attitude, all of that went away. But i will have you know that i am making a comeback, i dont know when but i will. You will too. !!
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