So tired of it all.

Posted , 18 users are following.

I know I'm on here a lot but I'm really starting to feel like I've truly had enough of all this, every damm day is the same. Can't sleep and when I do I wake up feeling so sick, I feel dizzy and wobbly most of the time, every bone aches, my hair has thinned, ive put weight on, I have no womb, ovaries, cervix everything's gone, no HRT due to migraines a lot, can't concentrate, anxiety and panic attacks, I feel so done in like im about to die most days - how much longer can my heart keep beating keeping this wrecked body going and what for just to keep suffering every day, it's nearly three years of this and it's getting no better - hubby doesn't understand or care what's the point if it's always gonna be like this. Might as well give up this is no life it's just misery every day with new symptoms all the time crying and feeling so sorry for myself - im not a woman anymore im just a thing.

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  • Posted

    Oh Lou. Dont know what to say but hang on in there. The desperation is horrible. Have you tried the herbal route? Vit b? I'm sure you've explored every avenue so sending a big hug. And you ARE a woman. Thinking of you xx
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    • Posted

      Thank you Carole and yes ive tried everything, vit b, c, d, e, you name it ive tried it and nothing makes the slightest difference to how I feel right now. My heart keeps beating but I'm not sure why 😰x
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  • Posted

    Ur a woman and an amazing one at that. Keep going. It will get better. Lots of love xx
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    • Posted

      thank you Donna for your kind words. I really do hope it will get better but deep down I think this is it now - there's no going back, I can't get my organs back that made me feel feminine, my boobs have shrunk to horrible nothingness, everything down below is totally dead, I can't see the future being better truly I cant. I'm trying to be happy and trying so hard to look forward to things but through the pain every day it's hard to see the sunshine x😱
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    • Posted

      Dear lou86, I felt so sad for you when I read your post, you sound so low. You must go and see your Dr, ask to see a different one, maybe a lady go that is more understanding. I can speak from experience, that anxiety and depression causes real pain. When I was in the depths of real depression, I could only see one way out, but thank goodness I had some fantastic medical help which eventually after many years got me on the straight and narrow. During my low time I honestly believed that I had the most awful illnesses because I had pain and strange sensations in my body. I even was referred for an MRI scan because my wonderful Dr needed to prove to me that there was nothing wrong apart from the stress. The scan came back clear and I then realised that it was the depression/anxiety and stress that were doing this to my body. Sorry to have gone on a bit, but I just wanted you to know that when our body is at its lowest it can really mess us up physically. Although I have bad days due to this awful menopause, I know one day this will end and it will for you too. You won't always feel this way. I'm here if you ever need to talk. Sending you these to make you smile. 🌸🌻🌺💐🌼🌹
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  • Posted

    Hi there Lou,. I feel just like you bot I am 9 years postmenopausal. I guess most of this is anxiety. I have had the worst day ever. Palpitations sweats rubbery legs with massive leg jerking. Feet go numb anxious and jittery. My legs feel like they will not keep me up. Heart rate up blood pressure up. Feel like crap. Just to much.......and my husband doesn't get it.jyst want to feel normal again. It has been so long
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    • Posted

      That's so bad I really feel your pain - 9 years really is evil. Yes I suppose a lot is anxiety, ive not long come out of hospital with yet another horrible panic attack that stems from me thinking I was having a heart attack - my face goes numb and tingly also pain that goes deep into my nose, jaw, ears, bloody everywhere - hospital said anxiety, how can that be. I hate hospitals they freak me out as ive had a fair amount of treatment and surgerys, ct scans, X-rays, so many gyne operations the last one being five hours long with a blood transfusion, to leave me like this - wrecked and mentally tortured. Hubby seems to think ill be ok ! he has no idea , I feel castrated and empty and yet he still wants sex, well I couldn't care less about that and if he can't handle that then it's too bad.........just so exhausted and hollow x
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    • Posted

      Not sure how long you have been out of hospital but I hope you have given yourself time. Maybe speakingtosomeone would help.we as woman go through so much that men have no clue about. Please keep your chin up. Try ho do some nice things for yourself. Have you spoken to your doctor about this? Hugs to you
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    • Posted

      Thank you yes i got discharged from the hospital almost three years ago. I had a hysterectomy over 20 years ago leaving one ovary behind - I coped really well until I had a misdiagnosed borderline tumor 20x 20cms. This lead to ct scans and numerous tests but thankfully all was well thank god and I was discharged after regular scans and transvaginal exams. In fact the hospital was very pleased with my recovery and to be told there would be no more problems was the best feeling in the world, but it was when they symptoms started kicking in of surgical menopause that really knocked me as it was and still is so intense and forceful . Ive tried talking to my doctor but they are pretty useless to be honest, I was given Sertraline which made me worse and was offered counselling but that wasn't for me. I rang the Samaritans one night at 3am as I was feeling so wretched, but until someone's actually been through such a trauma they don't understand - also right after my surgery my father died in front of me and then my hubby had a heart attack at home in front of me also, so all in all its been a horrible journey which hasn't yet ended x
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    • Posted

      Oh Lou, you have been through alot. People that have never been through anxiety just do not understand. Has your doctor sugguested anxiety to you. It is a tough road but we do get through it. I have had some pretty bad days lately and there are times when I just do not know what to do.......You will come through it We just have to have patience. Tell yourself that, When you look into the mirror, tell  yourself that you are important enough to beat this. Talk out loud to yourself if you have to,  
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    • Posted

      Seems like you're having a rough time of it too, im not alone I know that as there are so many others going through worse. It's just when you're pacing the floor at 3am not knowing what to do with yourself you wonder what the point is. I will try hard to keep going as long as I can with this and maybe three years isn't very long - maybe alot of it is anxiety also, but the anxiety arises from the situation itself so it's a vicious circle. I'm amazed at all the wonderful ladies here who themselves like you are such beautiful ladies with such understanding and love, thank you x
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    • Posted

      I am different to you as all I think about all day is going to bed at night. I sleep very well and am thankful that when I sleep ifonot feel all this. So dinner tonight I kinds lost it with my husband. Telling him he does not understand and maybe he should live one day if my life to see what it is like

      I actually felt better after I lost it though. I am just so I tuned with all of physical issues. Scary for me. They all seem to come a once and last for months. I have lost about 19 sounds from not being able to eat. Now my body is all soft and mushy.....yikes

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  • Posted

    I totally get where you are coming from. It's hard day in and day out to take this. Everyday is crappy physically, emotionally, mentally. Not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm in my 11th month of this. Can't imagine years of this. You're brave and strong enduring this that long.

    Waiting to get my pelvic ultrasound as I write this. Hoping to get some answers so can feel better. So sick of Drs and tests and anything medical.

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    • Posted

      i understand - the medical tests are so scary and unnatural and that's what causes the fear. Weather it's 11 months or 10 years it doesn't matter it's still horrible and causes so much anxiety and stress, we go through so much and it's hard to keep being strong and having the strength to keep going, but something inside makes us keep fighting but my fight is running out if I don't feel better soon. I hope you get the answers you deserve and you feel better very soon x
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