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So tired of it all.

Posted , 18 users are following.

Fairy28
Fairy28

I know I'm on here a lot but I'm really starting to feel like I've truly had enough of all this, every damm day is the same. Can't sleep and when I do I wake up feeling so sick, I feel dizzy and wobbly most of the time, every bone aches, my hair has thinned, ive put weight on, I have no womb, ovaries, cervix everything's gone, no HRT due to migraines a lot, can't concentrate, anxiety and panic attacks, I feel so done in like im about to die most days - how much longer can my heart keep beating keeping this wrecked body going and what for just to keep suffering every day, it's nearly three years of this and it's getting no better - hubby doesn't understand or care what's the point if it's always gonna be like this. Might as well give up this is no life it's just misery every day with new symptoms all the time crying and feeling so sorry for myself - im not a woman anymore im just a thing.

2 likes, 55 replies

55 Replies

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  • christine70191
    christine70191 Fairy28

    Posted

    You poor poor love. You are not alone- that's the most important thing to remember. It doesn't matter how many times you come on here,  we will always listen because we all feel the same.  You get bad weeks and then you get horrendous weeks, we all do but we cope and get through it in the hope that one day we'll have a good week. Like you the pain, sleeplessness, withdrawal from the world all feel unbearable at times but I lock myself away until it goes. My family know now to leave e alone to get through the worst. I keep showing them literature & post from here to help them understand why my old self has disappeared and this decrepit old woman has taken my place. Try showing them these posts & then maybe they'll realise that this is a process we woman have to go through and what absolute hell it is. Take care sweetly. 
    • Fairy28
      Fairy28 christine70191

      Posted

      thank you im so sorry you are suffering aswell - I'd like to say it will get better but I know I wont, im feeling worse and now worrying about other things, it's all just too much that I just can't ever imagine ever feeling better , I can see no going back from this I feel like my body's breaking down . Pains in my neck and ear so maybe the bloods not pumping properly and I have all that to worry about now, it's just worry worry worry 24/7. This can't be the menopause it must be something else. X
  • Rhino2015
    Rhino2015 Fairy28

    Posted

    Hi Lou - get yourself to a women's clinic ASAP you must insist they give you something short term while they investigate something better. Please let them know your feelings of grief and despare this is not for you any longersad enough is enough poor love do it today - please x

    Loui

    • Fairy28
      Fairy28 Rhino2015

      Posted

      hello and thank you, we have no well woman clinic nearby im afraid and if there was I would be too terrified to go - I think there MUST be something hideous going on , all these symptoms don't tally up with menopause, there must be something else because now I have a throbbing neck which makes me think there could be a blocked artery - what if there is, then what, I'm too terrified to get help so if I stay in bed and just lie there it might go away - this fear indicates something else, is menopause really this bad, surely not it must be something else but what - im dreading the thoughts in my head are true . My heart is beating but don't know how it is x
  • paula20385
    paula20385 Fairy28

    Posted

    Hi Lou sorry you are feeling this way.I had bad anxiety went to see a councillor it help me a lot with my anxiety

    Hope you start to feel better soon

    Take care

    Paula

    • Fairy28
      Fairy28 paula20385

      Posted

      thank you Paula , im in a state this eve - bad ear, throbbing neck - something else could be going on now, I'm wrecked and washed out so just waiting now for something to happen as my hearts thumping . I'm sure others are suffering and I don't know how on earth they get through this as it's truly wicked and can't understand what ive done to deserve it x
  • looloo43
    looloo43 Fairy28

    Posted

    Dearest Lou. I feel for you especially as you cant take hrt to try & help your symptoms. The only thing I can think of that may help you is fluroxetine. Many ladies on here(I have read in last few months), plus an old work colleague, have benefited from this particular anti depressant for peri/meno symptoms in that it "softens" most of the symptoms. My old work friend is in her 50's & menopausal, & she feels much more in control & better for taking it. you could speak to doc about trying a low dose to start with & see how you get on for a couple of months??. Best wishes & bi hug to you Lou. xxx
    • Fairy28
      Fairy28 looloo43

      Posted

      Thank you looloo for your kind words - I just don't know what's wrong with me to be honest with you - there are so many things going on and im falling apart with it all. Today another crap day like every other, my left ear is painful and my neck hurts along with everything else so now I'm thinking I probably have a blocked artery in my neck, the symptoms are just awful - every joint, every vein , everything from top to bottom. I can't deal with all this anymore have been in bed most of day and not long been up and it 10.30pm so another horrible night ahead - I don't know if Prozac might help I hope it would but I can't get to the doctors because my health anxiety won't let me, plus my doctors is useless. It's all rubbish xx
    • looloo43
      looloo43 Fairy28

      Posted

      Lou, have you got a close friend or relative that would accompany you to the doc's to help you cope with your health anxiety? If you could just get started on fluroxetine(low dose) it would be great if it helped you even just a a bit. either that or would your doc visit you at home? I hate to think there could be a medicine out there that may help you, but you can't access it. Think of someone close to you who know's about your health isssues & health anxiety & ask them to come with you to doc's for support. You'll amaze yourself with what a little support can help you achieve, & help you have the strength to say what you need to say & not be trodden down by a crap doctors's ignorance. Your confidence & strength is probably low at the moment because of how you feel, but you don't choose to be this way. But when you have an ignorant doctor to deal with (my gastro consultant was like this at one point) the best way to deal with them is to tell them you didnt choose to feel like this & tell them to their face how they make you feel. it puts them in their place & reminds them every patient is different. You'll also feel better for getting it off your chest & being honest with them!!. i have a much better relationship with my gastro consultant since airing a few home truths about his attitude & black & white approach. I felt proud of myself for having the guts to do say what needed to be said!! luckily my gp is fabulous, but not everybody is so fortunate. Be strong, true to yourself, you deserve to be treated appropriately & didnt choose to feel like this. Let me know how you get on hun. xxxx
    • Fairy28
      Fairy28 looloo43

      Posted

      Thank you for reply, ive been for a half hour walk today in the sunshine - 15 mins there and 15 mins back. I went up the lane slowly on my own, we live in a very quiet country area so I knew there would be nobody around. I could hear all the birds singing and it actually lifted me, it felt quite good and I could actually breathe better, it's not much but I want to try to do this on my own. I don't like doctors and I can't go anyway there's no way I can face that or even think about it. I think ive don't the right thing ? I'm feeling horrible again now but I'm going to do it again tomorrow, what do you think - will it get better. Plus all the advise ive been given from all you wonderful fellow suffered makes me want to do something instead of wallowing in self pity xx
    • looloo43
      looloo43 Fairy28

      Posted

      Lou, I dont think you are wallowing in self pity(& I'm sure the other ladies on her would agree). Trouble is when anxiety takes a hold it magnifies every thought, feeling, pain & in turn increase the anxiety.It's great you getting out & wanting to try & get better/feel better on your own. Personally from listening to your posts on here & my own personal experience of anxiety & depression & peri symptoms, & the fact you can't take hrt, I would try the fluroxetine for a couple of months to support your own efforts of improving how you feel which I'm sure would also help your separate issue of health anxiety. If it were me that is what I would do (if you can try one of the 2 ways I suggested in my last post of actually seeing the doctor) Try not to dismiss suggestions too quickly because you think you can't face your doctor. You need to draw any little bit of inner strength you have hidden away, stop googling, & try to see your doctor(with or without a supportive friend or relative) to progress to the woman you know you once were before all this took control of you. Getting out for a walk every day is a step in the right direction. Dont give up, & remember you have support on here even if you just need to vent!!! keep us posted Lou. xxxxx
    • Fairy28
      Fairy28 looloo43

      Posted

      Thank you yes I take on board all you say and I agree with you - I need extra support, I will try to consider the doctors, if I could get there im sure I would be prescribed something - the symptoms will not go away on their own and I realise that, it's too much for me on my own as Ive got too low. It's so hard to drag yourself up when you're on the ground feeling so rotten and desperate. It took all I had to get out today trust me and I did feel better but I definatley know its not enough. I felt better at the time BUT being home again the feelings are all coming back again, they didn't go away whilst I was out it was still there and it was a fight not to let it all get the better of me, but it felt slightly better. I'll see how it goes tomorrow and yes will let you know , thank you xx
  • pinkcatfairy
    pinkcatfairy Fairy28

    Posted

    Dear Lou

    I feel for you, Im not on hrt and although i was going through the menopause, i had my ovaries out due to family history. Everything seemed ok for the first few months but the anxiety and panic attacks started up and the joint pain and muscle pain. If you saw from my last post i have started taking liquid magnesium and it has helped with the muscle and joint pain. I am sure i dont feel so anxious but it is early days as i have only just started taking it. I have noticed an increase fat around my middle too even though i am not eating or drinking anything different, plus i swim three times a week x

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