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So upset right now

Posted , 15 users are following.

sue08
sue08

I broke down and baught a bottle of wine, drank over half of it.

Its been 14 weeks and I blew it... have no good reason why, just did .. when I think back never had to have a good reason

I just pray I can doo it again ... only for final

I wish my daughter was here for me to talk to but no one ... sorry to lay my problems on you all but am very greatful for this site ... very sad

0 likes, 49 replies

49 Replies

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  • lynne84395
    lynne84395 sue08

    Posted

    Thanks for your prompt reply Sue. I just can't get over to my family that just going to rehabs won't solve it I have to see my councillor, take advice and work one day at a time. They think if I am locked away it is the only way to move forward.

    iAs usual I know only I can do it but it is so wonderful to chat to people who know we don't want to have a problem. I know we have a choice but the reality is at times it isn't possible to resist. 

    I am trying have e mailed and texted but just get them on about rehab is the only answer.

    have been so depressed tats two days but am forcing myself to take the poor dog out now it is such a lovely day.

    • keith02
      keith02 lynne84395

      Posted

      Hi Lynne, sorry to hear you've been having a rough time of it. As Paul said, one slip doesn't mean you should beat yourself up and forget about 8 years of bloody good work (for which I take my hat off to you by the way), though I understand that maybe your family might not see it that way and so that results in you feeling you've blown it.

      I've only just begun to tackle my addiction, but having confessed the extent of the problem to my partner and 1 or 2 close friends, I've found they all have a view on what I "should" be doing to get better. They don't understand the nalorex, what it does and how it works and keep telling me I shouldn't be touching a drop (they all know best of course wink  ). In the same way, your family are saying or implying that going back to rehab is best for you....perhaps without thinking it through....i'm no psychologist but I know that we as humans take the shortest cognitive route so their thought process is probably along the lines of "rehab worked for her before so that's what she needs again". That they want you to get better is a good thing. Although it may not be the right solution, the fact that they (implicitly or otherwise) want a solution means they care for and about you.

      Anyway, what I'm trying to get to with all this waffle is that perhaps you need some way of getting them to understand what it's all about, how you feel, why you slipped, why rehab is not the answer. Perhaps you could gently suggest that they read through this forum to get an idea of the real story.

      I have told my partner that I am using this forum to help me but said not to read it as it's private, however, I've found there's not much about in the way of resources to help the partners of people struggling with alcohol.

      I have tried to explain but, because I've told so many lies and damaged relationships due to alcohol in the past, my credibility is low, and from what you say, you may encounter the same problem. However, remember this is your son, he loves you and wants the best for you, perhaps you just need to see if you can guide him in the right direction as to how to get the best for you.

      Good luck x 

    • rachel89617
      rachel89617 keith02

      Posted

      Ahh bless you Keith for opening up so much, I have forbidden my family this sight, it's my private forum to discuss my faults and demons

      My dad was diagnosed with altzeimers today, my brother cried my sister went and discussed it on Facebook with everyone myself, I drank, I've had 4 wines and a cider I'm now having a coffee but wonder why it's me who turns to bloody drink, I got accused of having no emotion knowing full well I'll get emotional in private, that's just me...

      We all face demons and all we can do is help each other fight them

      Onwards and upwards guys 🙏💪

    • tim081952
      tim081952 rachel89617

      Posted

      Well put Rachel - we ARE all facing demons and this support group is amazing, thanks to all of you...did you watch the "onelittlepill" video Paul mentioned? Truly worthy of the best informative video of year award.

      Sorry to hear about your family issues. We all have some and we drink to suppress, not fix. 

      I did send a link to this forum to my daughter so she understands what many of us deal with on a daily ritual.

      I am on Naltrexone and it is difficult to know just how long it'll take for it do do it's work. One day at a time - I figure. If I could just remember to take the *amn pill before I have my first drink !!!

      Thanks to all that post on here, Tim

    • lynne84395
      lynne84395 keith02

      Posted

      Keith I cannot thank you enough for your long comment yesterday. You have no idea how much it helped me I even managed to get some sleep from the thoughts around my problem. The words about the quick fix is my family thinking get her into rehab it worked before is spot on. Having done it I know that the real slog is outside trying to.work a programme of recovery that is the reality. As for my long sobriety once I got into it it was easier not easy but as time passed it got better. I long for that again.Good luck with your own journey.Keep posting! Lynne
    • patricia44773
      patricia44773 rachel89617

      Posted

      So sorry to hear your bad news, Rachel.  You did exactly what I would have done.  I suppose it's because we have dealt with our demons that way for so long...it's second nature now.

      I hope your dad doesn't suffer too badly from the disease, it's such a horrible thing for both the patient and those who care for him.

      Hang on in there.

      Loads of hugs,

      Pat

    • keith02
      keith02 lynne84395

      Posted

      Hi Lynne, reading it again, it was soooo long that I'm not surprised it sent you to sleep!!

      In all seriousness, you've done it before, you can do it again....just have a think how to best manage the relationships around you so that they work for everybody. I'm learning that, although I've got the "problem", I shouldn't be made to feel bad for it.....

      Good luck and keep me posted :-) 

    • keith02
      keith02 rachel89617

      Posted

      Hi Rachel, so sorry to hear about your dad's diagnosis and I hope you're doing OK, and that he is also.

      You've hit the nail on the head, we all deal with things differently....whether it's a display of emotion, sorting your head out by chatting on Facebook or having a drink.

      Remember that positivity from the other day.....1/2 bottle left not 1/2 bottle drunk :-)

  • tim081952
    tim081952 sue08

    Posted

    I know I have responded to this before as have many others. BUT like you I am really upset with myself right now 'cause a cooked a nice meal and don't feel like eating it. DUH. The beer in me won't let me eat. So sad I feel like this.

    I'm lucky if I have one day off of the drink.

    Might be boredom or lack of will power, don't know. Not that I don't have lots to do, just no purpose in life. Time will tell when the urge hits me to do something positive.

    Your time line Sue is incouraging at 14 weeks or longer, PLS keep gonig...I know it helps me on this forum.

     

    • sue08
      sue08 tim081952

      Posted

      Thank you so much Tim. Ya know I have the feeling of no purpose as well but... i have figured out the alcohol makes you feel that way as well. The last few months mykids have said they are so happy to have "Mom" back.

      Think about it Tim. I believe your day will come... hang in there and keep trying smile

    • tim081952
      tim081952 sue08

      Posted

      I'm trying to hang on Sue, thank you for your encouragement. I re-read these messages and still wonder - why me? As Paul has mentioned several times - it's not our fault...so, who's is it anyways?

      Not yours Sue, just mankind being subjected to the loud and rude trends that support their causes...making money advertising or promtions or what ever, and we suffer, those of us who are weak. I wish world wide support for organizations like the Sinclair Group who are making it known there is hope.

      Yes, I've tried/still on Naltrexone and Campral, (even had a stab at Kudzu for a month - just got stomach cramps and the such - finished with that stuff.)

      You mentioned before it was your strong will that kept you going...how is that done, please?

      Now I wonder is it depresion and/or alcohol for my state of mind? Or in combination? They seen to go hand in hand - don't they?

      I like to write to this forum to get others views and you are all wonderfull.

      This is my savour, keep it coming please people !!!

      Thanks Sue...for listening. Keep strong, your friend and on your program, Tim

    • sue08
      sue08 tim081952

      Posted

      Hi Tim

      My strong will has let me down a few times but... in generall I think I am not doing that bad its been just over 4 months now and 3 slips.

      Yes for sure for us alcohol and depresion goes hand in hand, also stress

      My job can be vry stressful at times and I find thats when I run into problems. Living on my own, working oposite hours than my family and friends plus over a half an hour drive, and I dont get weekends off. At times its easier to go get a bottle of win sad 

      I try to hang in there and try my best to stay focused smile

      Good to hear from you Tim smile

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