Someone out there feeling the same? Am I losing my mind? What to do???
Posted , 6 users are following.
Dear all,
I've suffered with anxiety/panic attacks for the last 17 years. I have been on citalopram for 13 years and have stopped just over 2 weeks ago and started sertraline 50mg instead. Citalopram was not working very well anymore. The first 2 weeks everything was fine and in the last 3 days my anxiety is awful!!! I always feel like I'm the only to feel this way as the symptoms are so intense that I wonder how I manage to go through the day. I feel like jelly, mind racing, jaw is so tense that I feel like screaming so much everything is, all the usual symptoms I guess plus waves of being petrified! I can't think or eat it's awful Im so scared I'm going insane! I have an appt at the docs this afternoon but im so scared. He'll probably increase the dose but im terrified it will be like this for the next 2 weeks!! I just had it! It's so unfair! It ruins my life! I had CBT but didn't help much, I try to distract myself and do some breathing exercises but how long again is this gonna last for!! I'm going on holiday in 3 weeks and I NEED TO BE OK!!! Everything feels unreal and unsafe I hate it so much. I want to feel like myself right now! I'm panicking as it's the weekend soon so it's not like I can distract myself with work... It will be so hard does anyone ever feel so intense, petrified, jellyfish, frozen, feel like ur going to collapse, or scream or going mad... Please someone reassure me. My partner doesn't understand any of it and I can't blame him. My family is abroad and I don't really tell them as mum is very anxious anyway and when I talk or see them for some weird reasons my anxiety is over the roof! I love them to bits but I guess I associate them with my first panic attacks so I find it extremely difficult to forget that. It's awful as I always find excuses not to see them or if I have to i panick weeks before.... This whole thing is a nightmare and I feel so lonely. X
4 likes, 17 replies
lesley15204 Babette
Posted
Like you there are people close to me who don't understand,so i try not to discuss it with them coz it makes me feel worse.
I get more anxious and fearful when i have too much going on at once,and i find i can't multitask either.
My brain freezes sometimes and it makes me more anxious,i feel stupid to when i can't get the right words out,i've started writing things down,my short term memory can be bad,my concentration isn't too good either.
Hop this helps,and you don't feel so alone x
Babette lesley15204
Posted
I've never come across someone that feels just like me but I guess we are all different... I still find it a very lonely place but thank God we can chat and exchange our experiences on here. X
lynda70899 Babette
Posted
i know you feel like your losing your mind but you are not. You have extreme anxiety at the moment. I think you hit on it when you said seeing your family is one of your triggers. I know I have certain triggers and I avoid certain situations. Is there anyway you can cancel your trip until you have things under better control. I'm sure your family would not want you to suffer like this. Not sure if this is helpful. Glad your going to see your dr.
Babette lynda70899
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Davesoapbox Babette
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sorry to to hear you are not doing well but do understand, I am also in the early stages of taking an SSRI and I know that they do take a fair few weeks to take effect unfortunately just because you were on one doesn't mean they will swap over without a hitch. I would expect your doctor to up your dose today as these drugs as you probably know need to be increased gradually and as hard as it is to say the side effects can oft be quite unsettling. All I can suggest for you partner is to get them to read the leaflet that comes with the medication so he is aware of the side effects, maybe phrase it as "can you let me know if I start showing any of these" once he has read them all it should open his eyes to the kind of meds they are. Other than that meditate, keep a journal and talk, post on here, what ever it takes. The meds will work but they need time, unfortunately they don't just hand out the diazepam anymore
stay strong, our hearts are with you
Babette Davesoapbox
Posted
In regards to my partner it is difficult as he is very black or white but I can't blame him for not understanding. Even to me this condition doesn't make any sense! And the fact that I don't really have a trigger is difficult.. In fact I don't think I have ever accepted it. It is ruining my life and stopping me from doing things and being happy. When I started sertraline 2 weeks ago we decided that I should not read the leaflet that came with it as we both knew That I would analyse every little thing which Would have most probably made things worse. I guess that for the time being I have to grin and bear it
Which medication are you on David? I hope you are not feeling too bad. X
Babette
Posted
I said I feel like I'm going insane and feel like screaming and he said im not abnormal and that if I wanted to scream then to scream! Which made me smile a little.
I truly hope he is right in saying that the feelings should subside. I just can't handle this anymore. On and off and on and off and on and off for so many years and all the time with my family!! How can I get rid of this horrible condition! I just want to be happy and me!!!
Davesoapbox Babette
Posted
brilliant to hear that your doctors visit was, shall we say a success? Whilst I understand it's hard for you and your partner, you need each other. If you broke your leg he wouldn't think twice about supporting you so why not now? As for reading the leaflet in hindsight I admit it may scare the poop out of both of you especially if your not used to the lingo, I am on a SSRI called Paroxetine and am also on Diazepam. You are strong, you have a hard journey but you are not alone. Hold your head high and don't be afraid to talk about your feelings.
rhian61976 Babette
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Babette rhian61976
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Babette
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Davesoapbox Babette
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lets just forget tomorrow for a second and get you settled.
right I want you to breath, sit up in bed ignore everything else,mid someone is with you tell them your meditating. Sit straight but comfortable, and breath and count each breath.
Imagine you are sat by a river, your thoughts are like fish see them but let them swim by do not catch the fish. If you find yourself dwelling on a thought "catching a fish" tell yourself to throw it back and let it swim away. If you lose count start again, the counting or the number means nothing it just gives the mind something to do. Try 100 breaths then post me back
Babette Davesoapbox
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Davesoapbox Babette
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Babette Davesoapbox
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Davesoapbox Babette
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thanks for the update and I'm truely sorry for you that you had a bad night. Trouble with pets is there are territorial and it might take a few days for things to settle. As for your neighbours they would chose last night to be annoying lol anyway these things are sent to try us and you can handle this, you are strong and determined. Whilst I don't want to seem an advocate of medication it does help so get em down your neck. But you also need to continue to work on self help, relaxation, meditation, did you try the fish by any chance? Your most important thing right now though is to start writting, get a notebook and get all your pain and frustration down on paper. And once it's in that book tell yourself you don't need it in your mind