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sorry to everyone

Posted , 6 users are following.

mazpaz
mazpaz

Just wanted to say a quick sorry to you all. I've had some lovely supportive posts from this forum and want to return the favour, but with trying to battle with work I just don't have the stamina to read through the messages, but my thoughts are with you all and I hope soon to be some support back!

 

4 likes, 30 replies

30 Replies

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  • GeorgiaS
    GeorgiaS mazpaz

    Posted

    Hi mazpaz, it must be really difficult having ME and working. Don't push yourself too hard will you! 

     

  • elaine62759
    elaine62759 mazpaz

    Posted

    Been there, done that and know how you feel.Get as much rest as you can and be kind to yourself,
  • Elmo69
    Elmo69 mazpaz

    Posted

    Hi Mazpaz,

    Thank you for your post, bless you!

    No problem - I think the users of the forum really understand each other and appreciate that we each face our own difficulties.

    It is just nice knowing that others are there if ever you do need to reach out, whenever the energy levels allow!

    Take care of yourself!

    Hugs and best wishes, Elmo :-)

  • mazpaz
    mazpaz

    Posted

    Thanks guys - having a tough time at work. Trying to get more longer term adjustments in place following my recent severe relapse that I am coming out of ... slowly... but manager really not wanting to give me anything long term. I think she just doesn't get that I work as hard as others and just because I don't achieve as much, doesn't mean I put the effort in. I suppose in today's society it's about out put not effort.

    Felt very low and then my partner had some good advice which was to let the old - what goes around comes around - advice take over and that - what will be will be. It has enabled me to feel slightly less stressed about it all. The Occy Health has advised I temporarily go down to 4 days - this was straight away turned down by my manager without discussion. I think I am becoming a thorn in her side. 

    It's so hard battling every day. I now feel ostrisized at work and my confidence in my own abiltiies have fluctuated tremedously. I was an outstanding teacher - but now I just try to get through each day without letting the children down. 

    I spent all weekend preparing new resources as I was taken out of my original class and put with a totally new class of almost double the children on my phased return and they just cant see what an impact that has. 

    I have no where left to turn and now leave it up to fate to decide. That and other dificulties are draining me so although I have been a reader and responder recently I don't have the stamina a lot of times to actually read through the replies. 

    I think it's great that we support each other on here and I would like to end by saying you are all amazing people to keep going and support others, never let anyone tell you otherwise!

    Take care XX

    • elaine62759
      elaine62759 mazpaz

      Posted

      Are you sure your manager is allowed to turn down a recommendation by occ health? I had a lot of issues when working involving occ health and reducing hours and was allowed to reduce them on their recommendation. But also had to see a company doctor who had a say in it too. Could you maybe get a letter from your GP to back you up?. I know all organisations are different but this doesn't sound right to me. Is there a union at work you could get advice from? I really think it would be a good idea if you could reduce your hours at the moment if possible - if you keep pushing yourself you could end up making yourself worse in the long term. Nothing is more important than your health. Good luck.
    • mazpaz
      mazpaz elaine62759

      Posted

      I think they can if it's argued as unreasonable due to there not being the staff to cover. That said I think there is staff to cover. There are 2 members I can think of that never seem to be in their class! Problem is, I can't prove it  on paper as they use students to cover so it's not recorded as needing supply. I asked for half an hour TA support 1x a week to help with resources - turned down as no one available. The following week one TA was suddenly available to take a display down for the manager. I am fighting a losing battle. 

       

    • ChrissyC
      ChrissyC mazpaz

      Posted

      Really feel for you Mazpaz. A teacher too I got the push in 2007 well before I'd got a handle on my condition, started pacing or anything. Human Resources in my LEA were absolutely evil.  I believe things have changed slightly for the better nationally since then but it is only slightly. Occupational Health was totally on my side but couldn't get them to see it. He couldn't pass me fit for work, well, that was absolutely right so they just gave me the push and the thing is one is too ill to fight the injustice. OH gave me a life line of passing me fit for supply work since I could say no on bad days. Luckily I had good friends who had worked with me when I was top of my game and had gone on to be Heads. Bless them they gave me all the work I needed or could cope with whichever was most relevant at the time and when its not 'your' job there just isn't the same workload anyway. I was so lucky there (if having M.E. can be lucky at all) as I don't think the supply work is as available now. I'd love you to read this Mazpaz just so you know I know what it's like. But don't waste energy replying. You need it all to try and work. You have my admiration and I wish you all the luck in the world! x

    • mazpaz
      mazpaz ChrissyC

      Posted

      Hi

      Many thanks for your post and the encourging words. I have lleft my job now as they decided that I couldn't complete all the teacher standards. The irony was that following that decision I worked as a full blow class teacher for a month without any support. So I now sit here unemployed and suffering some of the symptoms again after all the stress of finding out I would be jobless following a 16+ years career. I still don't know what to do and decided that I would take the summer off to try and recoup amd regroup myself. I then need to have a job financially. I am thinking of supply and will look into doing this initially in September, then see how I feel. I can't not work as I am/was the main wage earner. I feel so aggrieved at how I was treated - especially by HR - and that all the achievements and work I had put in before my relapse - including getting the school through OFSTED and being the only outstanding teacher at the time - meant nothing. I am lucky in that some colleagues were so upset by how I went, they have been determined to keep in touch and one Governor cried when they found out I was leaving. An ex Head is also on my side and trying to help. 

      There's more I could say but as this is a public forum I can't. I am now desperately trying to find another career, but I am either over qualified and the job is rubbishly paid, or I need at least 2 years experience doing whatever it is that the job needs me to do. I am stuck in the middle and feel that I have no where to turn. 

      Sorry I have rambled, I guess it's quite theraputic writing it all down. I hope things change, as at the moment the world is a horrible place for people with our condition. 

      Take care

      Mazpaz

    • ChrissyC
      ChrissyC mazpaz

      Posted

      Oh my dear I am so sorry AND for my ill timed last response to you. I've been unable to cope with the computer for a while and am now faced with catching up! Ive skimmed through all posts from about 6 months ago to just keep up with everyone but not posted as all too long ago. This one I wanted to chuck in my 2 pennyworth and felt it wasn't too long ago - I'm so sorry! 

      You didn't ramble at all - it IS therapeutic. I've told my story on here a couple of times. Like you I COULD say a great deal more. I believe I have an inkling of how you are feeling. I remember the day I signed the paperwork agreeing to go -totally surreal! I too was the main wage earner for my family. And you're so ill anyway but coping with the worry makes you worse. Also the feeling of failure both in your career (although previously successful, 25 years for me) and to provide for your family. You KNOW you haven't failed, that you can't help it, but still! The LEA really made me go out under such a cloud. There was no 'you've been great, so sorry you're ill' just 'you're now rubbish, get out'. I always said if I'd had cancer they wouldn't dare have treated me that way.

      Supply really worked for me. There is no subject area responsibility, no classroom care, display work, record keeping and very little planning. The hardest part is teaching from other people's plans because there are times you wish you COULD have done it yourself.

      I do hope it works out for you. I'd love to keep in touch.

      Chrissy x

    • mazpaz
      mazpaz ChrissyC

      Posted

      It wasn't I'll timed - it was great timing and I too havent been able to keep up with the forum for the same reason as you. I feel like I've been treated as if I've done something wrong - when I haven't, I've just been ill. I don't know if you can private message me on here but if you can feel free. It's so nice to know I'm not the only one - but I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

      XMazpaz

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