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Started sertraline for panic/anxiety, now experiencing severe depression and notions of suicide

Posted , 12 users are following.

tom294
tom294

Title is pretty self-explanitory. But firstly, I'll make it clear that I would NEVER attempt suicide. I have a crippling fear of death and I'm too determined to get better!

Now since August 2014, I've been experiencing moderate to sever anxiety with panic attacks. I was prescribed propranolol to take in emergencies, which i only ever need once in a blue moon. I was getting CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and it was helping me with coping mechanisms and lifestyle changes. I was getting a lot better from Nov-Dec but then i guess the stresses of Xmas took their toll and I entered another sever anxiety phase, when for the past 2 months i was managing okay. 

this has kind of evolved into something more and i have been experiencing a level of depression as well. It's bad, like I feel in constant brain foggy status all day with no motivation to do anything and i feel like i'm not capable of feeling any positive feelings at all. So yesterday i went to the doctors and i was prescribed 50mg of sertraline, but i have to take half a tablet for the first week.

My doctor said i wouldn't experiencing many side effects, but i've been feeling heavy, dizzy, lethargic, nauseous, but i can deal with all that because i experienced it when i was adjusting to propranolol. But today (my first say taking half the sertraline) I feel like my depression is intense, like overwhelingly. I can't stop thinking about having suicidal thoughts, like i'm not suicidal, i'm just afraid of being suicidal because i'm really afraid of death. i'm starting to have random thoughts about not living anymore, and i'm starting to wonder if the suffering is worth it, but i don't want these thoughts in my head. I am so determined to heal. 

I've read places (but i really am trying to avoid google) that heightened depression/anxiety/ and thoughts of suicide is a common side effect, can i get any clarifaction on this from anyone's personal experiences or expertise?

i had a panic attack tonight because of it all and i feel awful 

1 like, 23 replies

23 Replies

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  • munro101
    munro101 tom294

    Posted

    It's good to read about your determination to get your health back, that is definitely a positive even though you might not see it as one.as far as sertaline goes, it is a known side effect for your anxiety and depression to worsen in the early stages.in my own experience it took the best part of a month to feel any benefits from the medication. (I am on 100mg) I know how your feeling, anxiety and depression can be crippling.I think with your determination, the right medication and time you have as good a chance as anyone on getting your health back.

    Try to stay positive and take care. 

    Ryan munro

  • gingemac1977
    gingemac1977 tom294

    Posted

    hi tom,

    so sorry to hear that you are struggling, i have had depression and anxiety for most of my adult life and not this time round but early 20's also had suicidal thoughts but never had the guts to do anything about it.  these days i was struggling about a year and a half ago, really badly with depression and anxiety again, i thought i was never going to get better and i would always have a negative outlook on life and never be motivated to do anything.  i went to the doctors as it was ruining my relationship with my boyfriend who has been an absolute saint through all of this and they gave me sertraline, i too was worried about taking it and then i found this forum. everyone is on the same page on here, some are worse than others, and have far worse side effects from this medication.  i started on 50mg and i'm now on 150mg and that seems to be the right dose for me, my depression has gone and so has the anxiety.  i still have a few moments but it's manageable now compared to how i used to be, i was totally out of control, my moods were constantly up and down and i really didn't know where to turn or what i was doing from one day to the next.  1 year on and i'm back to my old self again, sertraline has saved me from a life of total unhappiness which is where i was before.  the only advise i can give you is stick with it and persevere through the bad days as there is light at the end of the tunnel.

    take care and keep coming on here and posting, it really helps :-)

    • Zikzak
      Zikzak gingemac1977

      Posted

      Hi,Nice to hear that you overcome with emotional unhelath.I am using sertaline (50mg)since 16 days,definitely it makes calm,and stop anxitey.But how long does it take to give full benefit?
    • tom294
      tom294 gingemac1977

      Posted

      thank you! I found this response so reassuring. It's good (well not 'good', but you know) that the emotional distress was a side effect. So it means that it's just the medication and it'll pass once my body adjusts. My anxiety has caused me to have an intense fear of dying, yet the depression makes me feel like dying - so it's all very ironic and conflicting. I'll stick with the sertraline. I used to be very iffy about taking medication, but now I'm realising that I don't care. I just want to feel better - i feel like the past 5 months have been stolen from me. I'm not wanting to the meds to be a 'quick fix' because i'm getting cbt and it's helping me as well
  • leanne1480
    leanne1480 tom294

    Posted

    Well my experience was not great at all , I stopped taking 50 ml sertraline yesterday and started my new tablets today . For me sertraline is the devil pill it's horrible I hated it . I had most side affects at the beginning eg suicide thoughts even though I had never thought owt like that before . I was on them for 12 wks and to b honest I felt better before I started them . It's been the worst 3 mths of my life . I hated what person I had turned into . Not a nice person at all . That's just my experience but they do say everyone is different . Sorry I had nothing positive to say 
    • barbara95153
      barbara95153 leanne1480

      Posted

      Leanne, I agree with you that SSRIs and benzodiazepines are all the devil pills! They have ruined me and put me on permanent disability!! I don't like who I am anymore either...

       

  • barbara95153
    barbara95153 tom294

    Edited

    I recommend that nobody take SSRIs for depression or anxiety! They have destroyed millions of peoples' lifes worldwide! SSRIs and benzodiazepines are all the devil pills! They have ruined me and put me on permanent disability!! I can barely function anymore!
    • gingemac1977
      gingemac1977 barbara95153

      Edited

      i've been on sertraline for the past year and it was hard to start with, but i'm back on track now, i couldn't recommend it enough, so how you can generalise by saying "nobody should take SSRI's" and "they have ruined peoples lives worldwide" just because you have had a bad experience with it, is giving out the wrong message to new members and people that will or may benefit from them!  yes,there are also millions of people who are taking them, and millions of people that have their lives back because of them.

       

    • tom294
      tom294 gingemac1977

      Posted

      thanks for that comment. I appreciate all the comments I'm getting but I really just need to hear positive things! today is day 2 and i've been feeling physically awful and I haven't been able to eat much either. My depression isn't as intense as it was last night but now my anxiety has skyrocketed. I just wish i could fast forward 4-6 weeks to see how i'll be. 
    • gingemac1977
      gingemac1977 tom294

      Posted

      no problem tom, honestly everyones bodies reacts differently to any drug, not just SSRI's but the thing is, we all need help at one time in our lives and if you need SSRI's to do the job for you, then you just need to try them, i didn't have a clue if sertraline was going to work for me either, i'm really funny with medication in general and have to be careful with stuff i take so i was worried about it too.  if i'd have read a comment like that before taking mine, i'd have avoided it like the plague and i would still be in a horrible place, you have to believe in yourself, they are just side effects, they are not going to kill you and you have to be patient and persevere, some people expect an improvement from day 1 and that isn't going to happen, it's taken me upto a year to get it right, i'm not saying it will take you that long either, it just depends on you as an  individual so ignore the negatives and concentrate on getting better, keep posting on here because you will get great relief and support on here to long term users of sertraline and they will give you the best advice. take care :-) also, rather than trying to analyse every thought or feeling you are having, try and do something to take your mind off it, do some research on a hobby or something that interests you etc, it's amazing how much that helps, for me, it was selling stuff on ebay!! hope that helps :-)

       

    • barbara95153
      barbara95153 gingemac1977

      Posted

      Many of us are posting on this forum and other sites BECAUSE we ARE suffering from being prescribed SSRIS!!!!!!! We are having horrific symptoms due to Withdrawal or Discontinuation Syndrome! None of us were told by our doctors about what hell we would have to go through to get off of these meds! Watch MADinAmerica if you get a chance!
  • Digsby
    Digsby tom294

    Posted

    Hi Tom,

    It's not been my experience but it is common for things to get worse when starting a new medication, before things start to get better. However, this worse feeling should be temporary and I pray that you are not feeling quite as bad as you were. If you still are feeling worse, contact your doctor as a matter of urgency. It's possible this medication doesn't suit you but DON'T PANIC :-)

    You are not alone in feeling the way that you do. I've been taking 50mg of Sert for a short time to treat suicidal depression. Like you, the thought of death scares me - I believe it is very final and there are no second chances (that's just my personal opinion). The morbid feelings and thoughts are temporary - they are definitely not a part of who you are so I'm glad that you have no intentions of acting upon them. However, I know just how scary it is to have your mind continually returning to unpleasant thoughts. Please try to distract yourself with anything that helps (food, TV, music, exercise). I know this is easier said than done cos your mojo has gone AWOL. Don't worry buddy, it will return. You've just got to remind yourself of the good things about your life and reclaim them, one at a time, and in your own time. You can beat this! You are a survivor! One step at a time...take that first step now :-)

    Please let me know how things are going for you. I'll support you on this hard journey.

    Best wishes & good luck!

    Digsby

  • tom294
    tom294

    Posted

    Hey all,

    It is the third day of me taking 25mg of sertraline and I still feel awful, in a different way. Rather than depression, my anxiety has been in the extreme levels over the past coulple of days. My heart won't stop racing, my thoughts won't stop racing, I'm shaky, restless, very nauseous and I'm in a lot of emotional distress. I feel like I'm going insane and it feels like I'm doing damage to myself by continuing these meds. I'm really afriad that if I stop/ween off the medication, I'll still feel these feelings. I was pretty bad before taking them but now I am 100% worse and I'm scared that it's irreversable. 

    In saying all of this, it is only day three and I'm going to stick with them. If I'm still feeling these side effects in a couple of weeks i'll look into getting off them. I just need to find ways to distract myself, i feel to unwell to even leave my bed. 

    • gingemac1977
      gingemac1977 tom294

      Posted

      you're doing the right thing by sticking with it. you will start to see a difference around weeks 6-10 depending on your body.  i know it is so hard i had the same thing, racing thoughts and terrible anxiety, some days i was worried sick all through the day, and affraid to go out of the house which isn't me at all, i'm usually a very sociable person but i didn't want to see or speak to anyone, was awful. but honestly tom, be strong and stick to it, i'm so glad that i did. it takes a long time, it won't be an easy ride but you will be so much stronger as a person at the end of it. anxiety and depression in my opinion is one of the toughest challenges anyone can face in their life and this is why i'm so glad we are all on here together and working through it.  everyone is at different stages of their journey, i have been where you are now, and was so close to giving up and stopping the meds but being on here showed me the success stories that people wrote about and it spurred me on to keep strong and here i am a year on, i'm telling people about my story, good luck and thanks to everyone whose helped me out along my journey :-) 

       

    • tom294
      tom294 gingemac1977

      Posted

      thank you! Yeah today isn't AS bad but i'm just making sure I keep distracting myself and every time a negative thought enters my head i'll really focus on something else. Like watching tv, playing videogames or even just getting up and walking around. In 3 day's time I'll be onto 50mg (i was instructed to take 25mg for the first 5 days) so hopefully i'll feel more theraputic effects. Either that or the side effects will worsen, but we'll see! haha. Thanks for you lovely comments btw I find them very reassuring. I want my life back so I can just crack on! 
    • Digsby
      Digsby tom294

      Posted

      Well done Tom! You are doing the right thing and heading in the right direction. Don't let any setbacks discourage you. Keep us posted on how you are progressing. The distractions are working for you so keep them going and connect with friends and family if you can. We're here for you too buddy :-)

      Good luck!

      Digsby

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