Started TSM

Just hearing from you is enough Robin, really it is. I don't know how I would have coped without the people on this forum in the last few months. I like to believe I am strong, but the constant stress and worry is taking it's toll on my health. Anyway, onwards and upwards.

What's changed I hear you ask? He WANTS pharmacologic extinction now and is following it without any intervention from me. I am standing back with a big sigh of relief x

He is making efforts JulieAnn which is important as i am sure you know. Its not easy for either of you. Wish you all the best that it works out for you both x

Yes he is Sharon thank you 😍 xx

 No probs JulieAnn x take care

Thank you Sharon. How are you? x

Hi Julie Anne I am so pleased to know that hubby is on his way with the TSM journey.If he is compliant, mindful and uses this tool as he should I am sure it will be a great success for him..I have reached a stage now where alcohol doesn't really figure much in my life.I have been at a family party today , the Prosecco was flowing .I hadn't even taken my nalmefene as I knew I wouldn't be fussed about a drink and I was right ! Maybe I was sailing a bit close to the edge not having any meds on me, I did intend to arm.myself but I forgot. Anyway all was well The smell of the alcohol was a bit sickening to be honest and a cup of tea was much more appealing.🤣🤣How life can change lol .Wishing you both the very very best and kerp us all posted xxx

Hi Nat. Yes he is talking to Joanna and is taking her advice. He says that the wine tastes like battery acid and is not getting any enjoyment from it. Currently on 6 units a day.

He has still got the problem of being physically addicted, but it really doesn't take much for him these days to reach that stage.

Glad to hear you are doing well xx

Funny how you can turn it around - I have started dropping one of my two small glasses of wine off to one and I covered one up in the glass with tin foil as did not fancy it last night.  This morning it smelt awful in the glass.  It can be done with perseverence.  I am also finding a cuppa is relaxing me more than usual and smells so good.

Well done Nat with all that Prosecco on the go x

Well done Gwen, you sound like things are moving on with your life...xxx Nothing worse than the smell of wine sometimes that has been poured the night before. XXX

Hey, Still finding it hard being on my own to be honest. Miss the family like mad, no words for it to be honest.

But just taking it day by day. Got offered a job which i start on monday part time, so hopefully that will help me clear some debts and actually be with other people more xx Sometimes working from home is not the answer...

I was very low last night for some reason but feeling more positive today. Cried on the phone with my partner and have not done that in ages. Sometimes things just build up i suppose. Not easy for any of us right now. Glad to hear honestly that things are looking positive for you and your husband. Its a long journey but it can be done as many on here have proven. 

Wish you well, keep in touch x

So pleased you have been offered a job. Anything to keep your mind occupied really. True working from home is not always the best, OH drank even more working from home 😟

Sorry to hear things are still difficult between you and your partner, I hope things will be sorted for you soon. You need support I think, but that's how I see it.

Keep going you're so much more positive than when you first posted on here 😚 x

Yeah hun - smelt like I could have put in on chips - yuk lol x

Job start - so chuffed for you - and yes to be with other people - working from home, at the moment for you, is not the answer.  I retired early from a busy bustling environment.  I now help OH with his business, but miss all the chat with my colleagues - least of all to say the laughs.

This is just brilliant for you in order for you to clear your debts and join your loved ones. 

I can't tell you how well you have done to turn this around - on your own -

that is some willpower.  Yes, I am definitely getting there and slowly losing that 'wanting the effect' that alcohol brings.  The less I have, the less I need or miracuously need.  And it feels real good. 

Not surprised that you cried to your partner, pent up emotion and no-one face to face to chat to which is a god send many a time.  I just think you are doing amazing.  Can't wait for you to be moving x

YES JulieAnne - sharon is so much more positive now than when first posted - different person.  I also think the support on here is nothing but amazing and has truly got me to where I am.  To be honest and truthfull with like minded people is liberating.

Sharon can and will get there and people like you as friends will spur her on and are invaluable. 

Sharon - you are amazing girl - respect and don't forget the PM if ever you need - always here xxx

❤❤❤❤xx

This is kind of reply to you Gwen and to JuileAnn together, Thank you so so much for those messages. I was at that moment in time having a very low point. You have no idea what it means....

💖💖💖💖 xx

That's great Gwennie , you are doing so so well , just keep chipping away at it ..Two glasses a night is brilliant anyway, wished I could have done that but it just doesnt work for me , so the tsm route was the way forward . Boy alcohol does smell foul in the morning , remember many a morning waking up to a half drunk glass by the bed... pure poison.I have just finished the Allen Carr book.that Sharon recommended..Blimey it sure does make you see alcohol in a different light xx

Your brilliant xxx Boosted me up so much xxx I really do mean that. I even said to my partner. Seeing son tm i hope, talked to daughter for ages on phone tonight. She is only 8 but she talked for ages....

She made me smile. Which is something that i have not done that much for a while. When i logged  on and saw your post JulieAnn and Gwen i was amazed. Thank you so so much for being there xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

what is the plan today Sharon? Seening you son soon?? Robin

So very glad that you are able to keep in contact with your children. Such a boost to see and hear from them xx

Stay strong you will do it xx

Its great speaking to Cerys on the phone, can not wait to see her when the time happens. Hopefully seeing my son today. How are things with you JuileAnn?

Thats the plan if all goes well, what about you? How have you been?

I am well and went to the park earlier with the children in sunshine although the weekend has not been that warm. HOpe you are with your son right now having to quality time!!

Fingers crossed for your boy hun xxxx

He couldnt make it today. I have a feeling right now as he is 13 that he is going though the stage of not wanting to be with parents and prefer mates etc Although i think there is of course some more behind it too. Meeting tomorrow after he finishes school. Weather here is rubbish too... poured down all morn!

Its hards but i''ll get there i hope xxx

He wasnt able to make it as i said to Robin, he has had a lot to put up with... hes 13 and going through changes so to speak, had a big change also in family life and also the pressure with school. I am seeing him tm after school all being well. 

Not easy at all on any of us but still trying... how have things been with you?xx

Hi Sharon. Things are good. Went out for a pub lunch on the seafront. Weather fantastic. Hubby sat and had a beer. Have never seen him take a drink so slowly and actually enjoy it.

Hope you managed to see your son xx

Hi sharon - yes good here - up at 6am yesterday, sun was shining so started all my jobs and prepping Sunday lunch.  Finished all about 11am and took the papers outside to read them sat on the swing and the darn sun went in and large dark clouds came and stayed all day.   British weather

Yes 13 is such an awkward age - hope it goes well x

I have two sons and remember well how they didn't want to know their mum at that age! However at 33 and 30 they are so different. Don't take it personally, although I know it's hard not to.

Ah, you're back. Does this mean my holiday photos of yourself on FB have finished?  )

Aww wise words as usual - good to see u back n hope u chillaxed to the max babe x

Hi Julie Anne I have only just seen your message I seem to be missing a lot of threads lately , get notifications a day or so late lol

Glad to hear things sounding so much more positive , I know the feeling about the wine tasting yuk altho perhaps not quite like battery acid . 😃😅 .Glad hubby is on his way now with TSM., the old buzz from alcohol won't be there anymore and so the urge to drink reduces . The real pleasure in time is knowing you can have one or two drinks without it leading to a huge binge or even choosing a cuppa over the alcohol Thinking of you both x

Hi guys. JulieAnne, I am so happy for you and hubby that he is doing so well now. It's so nice for both of you to be able to go out together and relax and enjoy yourselves. RHGB was kind enough to email my husband, and many others on this site have offered advice and support, which I greatly appreciate. I guess he just doesn't want to quit because he talks about getting help, but never follows through. Every time he starts drinking again my heart sinks. Thank you all for your support. At least I can talk to others who have been on both sides of alcohol addiction.

I certainly hope so! I've not posted any. Others may have unfortunately!

fully relaxed thanks Gwen 

Thanx Nat. It's going to be a long process I think. He has drank for many years. One step at a time. Joanna's advice invaluable xx

He's probably scared to quit hon. Just keep nagging him. Be relentless. I've been accused of being 'like a dripping tap in a chinese torture chamber' I don't regret a minute of any action I took.

Still on the journey. It's still not all sweetness and light, but he is hanging in there and trying bless him.

Thinking of you both x

It's never that easy JA. I never agree with the AA stance, that you must hit rock bottom before you can improve. But, I do believe people have a psychological bottoming out.

Where they wake up and say, "I don't really enjoy it anymore, I used to, but now it is just a routine. But I have been in this routine, it is soooo hard to break it, I am really going to try. They come to a realisation that they are no longer interested in alcoho"l.

It is why I think naltrexone works so well, because people are ready to take it and want it to work, they willingly embrace it. I think people in general that come here or to similar forums, are either there or approaching that time when they are happy to walk away from alcohol - a thought that terrifies people at first - to have their life back.

If people haven't reached that psychological bottoming out and are not yet ready to leave alcohol, it is very hard to push them into the decision. You yourself know how hard it was and that in the end, there was a catalyst (event) that got your partner into the 'zone' where he didn't want to be dependent on alcohol any more.

Hi RHGB

Yes very difficult. I just tried everything I could. I think the 'nagging' came from a feeling of helplessness, what will make him want to change? Could I afford to let him reach rock bottom? That might mean death. He was very poorly. You know even after he was found in a gutter with his wallet and mobile stolen, he still picked up again 3 months later. He had a mild heart attack after that. Whether that was the final incident that made him sit up and think I don't know. I think you are right that he reached the point of 'what kind of life am I living drinking like this?' I have stood back a few times to try and get him to sort himself out, it aways ended in disaster, he was all over the place.

When he was last detoxed in January and he took Campral he was truly in control until he decided to look for another job....

Anyway, its good to be able to stand back again Joanna's advice is invaluable, and he listens to what she has to say. He said this morning that she gives him hope. I am all for that

JA

Aww mate - you are soo strong and supportive - I hope he realises he has two angels on his shoulders - it will be his Arc Angel and also you

just respect to you for never giving in - xxx

'Psychological bottoming out ' well thats a phrase that I really get RHGB ..A time when I was fed up to the teeth with feeling c***p and losing days completely hungover, going nowhere fast with alcohol and endless attempts at stopping unsuccessfully..yeah I wanted my life back and knew if I didn't do something fast about it was about to go downhill at lightening speed. I didn't need or want to reach rock bottom which I had apparently already reached some 30 yrs ago according to the philosophy of AA.Oh yes and when I was completely abstinent I constantly thought of booze so that was no good !

I reached out on this forum and allowed the nalmefene into my life and am forever grateful ..This has put the brakes on that awful alcohol journey and given me back my choices.I look ahead now instead of behind me .I will always be on this journey but it continues in a positive way with that little pill , the pill that can help so many .My only concern is that the meds could and should be easier to get on the NHS so many could interupt their devastating alcohol journey so much sooner if they in that 'ready' mindset .I was so pleased to know that JulieAnnes hubby has started his journey and she is supporting him as always.

Good to read this positive post Julie Anne. You are standing so strong and I so wish hubby all the best...He won't regret his TSM decision and it's an interesting journey ! xx

Isn't she just Gwennie .JA has been a rock to her man and it sure ain't been easy by a long shot ... In your words respect! and I know they will stand strong through this x

Thanks Nat & Gwen for your great support. The units have gone up in the last few days. Apparently, according to Joanna this is normal at the start of a the journey.

Hubby always forgives me for any wrong word I say to him. He knows I am behind him 100% .

Joanna is such a help, he had a long conversation with her, he said he felt much better about TSM he knows it wont be a quick fix. He is also being a lot more open about the amount he is drinking and is doing a drink diary. I am very hopeful xx

Your husband is doing his best right now from the sounds of it and so are you. Clearly hard on you both but his efforts and your support show just how much you both mean to each other. xxx

Yes, the up and down is very common with TSM, kind of a confirmation that it's working. First there's the reduction in drinking, then the brain fights to get one back into the "same old" pattern. That's where the tracking helps considerably, as one will be able to see that both the high drinking weeks and the low drinking weeks are getting lower overall. The real improvement is seen on a month by month basis. 

JulieAnne ..you are both working so hard on this..what a couple.

Wow I feel so encouraged too tonight as I just read ADEfree's reply . re the brain trying to re establish old habits the early part of the TSM journey. I had some messy days in the early days when I thought I was failing miserably as consuption increased after dropping but clearly it was no huge deal as I.m still on track today ..I took my first Selincro in 4 weeks today , not because i craved a drink but felt it was time I did have one to.maintain the TSM fm journey or as I can say now 'One for the Road' Anyway i was dreading taking the pill in case the side effects ramped right up again so I took it carefully as per instructions for my very first pill ever . Side effects not bad at altbough i expect a sweaty night lol I drank I can of G&T, it tasted better than wine ( tastes foul) and i didnt feel.likecanother can yay !

Thsnk you Sharon. He is trying hard. Just being honest about the units he is drinking is a massive step forward. Hope you are ok x

Thank you Ade. Yes it certainly looks like that will happen. He is so much more open now. No more sneaking around. It's a big relief for me, so it must be indescribable for him. We actually had a glass of red wine with our dinner, we have never done that before in nine years of marriage. Felt very strange x

Hi Nat

Yeah he thought he was failing miserably. He said he was committed to following TSM properly, but he couldn't understand what he was doing wrong. So he contacted Joanna and had quite a long conversation with her. He was much happier. As I have just said to Ade, we had a glass of red wine with dinner, unheard of for us.

Did you decide against using Naltrexone? x

Sounds like you're doing well, Nat! You might want to consider switching to Naltrexone for the long run. People do report fewer side effects and less of a rebound in side effects when taking it after a run of dry days. 

Hi JA My message yesterday was a bit unfinished as it whizzed off, to be honest i thought had gone to the fairies forever but saw it here tonight lol ...Hubs sounds like he is doing so well .I was amazed when i did the glass with dinner thing , i was 3 months in then and I think when we got back from.the pub I had a couple more small glasses, before TSM it would have a couple of bottles lol . 2 months further down the line i can barely drink one drink , i just dont want it really .Its a miracle ! 🤔😁

I have 5 selincro left so.i am waiting to finish them which is going to take weeks and weeks I dont like the way they make me feel at all .I might just forfeight the rest of them and get some Naltrexone .Need to contact Joannna about it first

Is hubby on Naltrexone or Nalmefene, be intersted how thet make him feel .Take care lovely people x

Hi ADE ..yes I am delighted in the results of starting and sticking withTSM..Like my previous drinking I have had to / chose to also to keep TSM a secret so I have been so grateful of the support on here which has been wonderful. I couldnt have put up with all the questions and opinions from friends and family but they will know when I feel ready .

Yes I agree ADE i need to find a way of switching to Naltrexone , I buy privately so need to source it at a reasonable cost.I think i have read it is branded under the name of Naltima ?

You have done so brilliantly too with TSM ADE.We dont hear enough of the success stories do we 😊

Nat, very glad to hear you have the booze beast firmly under your thumb! It's great to be free!

There are a couple of brands shippiing from India (that I know of), Naltima and Nodict. The former seems to be more reliable. If you can get a prescription, I believe the one that's available in the UK is called Nalorex. I believe Joanna would have the details on that.

Thanks so much for that ADE .I will contact Joanna .The most awesome thing about getting the booze beastie under is waking up in the morning with a clear head and having control of the day .. Have a lovely day whenever daytime is for you ..I believe you are in the US 😊

Thanks, Nat! 

Yes, I'm in the US. May you have a wonderful day too! Let me know if you run into any problems.

Phyllis, I sent you a link to a video via Private Message. If you don't know how to check your messages, you can just follow the link below:

https://patient.info/forums/me/messages

If your husband hasn't seen this video already, it might be what he needs to start moving things in the right direction.