Still blipping 9 months in

Posted , 5 users are following.

Hi all, it's me again.

So, May has been absolute pants. I had quite a wobble around 5/6/7 th, (which I think was delayed response to alcohol) and then chilled out. However, since Saturday I've been blipping again. Can't really find a reason why. I do know that I was stressing a bit about what I might be asked to do next academic year at work, and I kind of got into a spiral with worrying about that on Saturday. Then, had parents here on Sunday, which was lovely, but still I think it was quite a lot for me at the moment. Yesterday just couldn't turn the anxiety tap off. Really bad sleep, have had to take time out today.

Be good to hear encouragement from anyone. I have been doing really well with recovery and it's so disheartening to feel poo again. I just don't feel much like doing anything.

I feel like such a whinger!

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  • Posted

    Seems that those of us who are sensitive to depression, and anxiety, seem to carry on lives normal things that would cause us some worry or stress and hyper focus them longer then we should, even on medication and they try to spiral out into other worries. Just remember these are things that would stress, cause worry to anyone, normal responses to lifes bumps we run into. I think its a matter of changing the way we think about them, such as letting them go sooner and dealing with it when it comes time, and just doing your best. I don't think its so much of a blip of the medication, as much as our bad habit of keeping it going for longer then we really should. Just try to relax, and work on things one by one as they come at you, you will be fine πŸ˜ƒ

    Are you doing any type of therapy? Learning ways to let go of stresses before they spiral out?

    Best Wishes!

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    • Posted

      Hi grounded, thanks for your words. I think mine is also hormonal...post menopause, and just very prone to getting stressed out.

      I've had lots of therapy in the past. It's very helpful. Am going more for body therapies at the moment eg acupuncture. This seems to help soothe me...

      But you're also right. I need some kind of way to let go of stressful thoughts...they do seem to go round and around in my head too much. I think when you're low, it's inevitable to some extent, but you're right; it would be good to revise some ways of letting it all go.

      I tend to just be with it, and moan on here as my coping mechanisms...

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    • Posted

      Oh I totally understand, I do that myself the moaning on here to get reassurance, it does help sometimes! As far as the menopause, I understand that too, I think I am very close to being pre-menopausal myself and it stinks! lol.

      Anyway, best wishes to you, and I hope that it all gets better soon. πŸ˜ƒ

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  • Posted

    Hi Ruth

    Sorry to hear about your blip again. You have been through a lot lately though from your recent posts, it seems you haven't had time to recover from the first set back before another one comes along. It seems to me that the medication can only do so much for us and we have to find ways of coping with day to day challenges as well as depending on the med. I too had a blip yesterday. I felt a panic attack coming on but somehow managed to stop it in its tracks. I was in the car with my husband, the sun was hot on the car, I was overdressed and I had run out of water. I think that's what did it, as simple as that, the thought of feeling hot and having no water. I did some slow breathing, took a sniff of my Olbas nasal inhaler (always carry it in my purse), supped on a barley sugar sweet and took my mind elsewhere. It passed and I felt ok within minutes.

    I'm still on 7.5 after reducing from 10 about 9 weeks ago. I did that stupid thing of going up to 10 for one day a fortnight ago that spoiled if for me. I get good days and not so good days still. Today seems like a good day apart from my persistent aching shoulder. I'm waiting for that magic moment when I get two or three good days in a row, that would boost my confidence no end.

    Have you been on the NHS Anxiety website? There are some short video links there where you can meditate with the soothing voice of a doctor and some good advice from an anxiety specialist.

    I also find reading posts hear have helped me no end. It puts things into perspective just the realisation that I am not going bonkers as others here have the same symptoms and more. I also look up Katecogs messages to others and find them so very reassuring.

    You have had quite a good run until recently so this will pass as did the other times.

    Just keep looking ahead to better days, that's what I do. We will get off this merry go round one day. Take care😊

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  • Posted

    Hi Lina, thank you, your posts always really cheer me up.

    You're right, have had a good run until May. It's weird but getting a cold really seemed to knock me back a few steps. I wonder why that is? A lot of this month have had quite persistent anxiety again.

    I'm not going to increase meds, however. I think I'm just gonna try to roll with it, and accept that's how it is at the moment. I was doing a lot of meditation back in the earlier months, and as I started to feel better, that dropped off....I think it was really helping me. So am gonna get back on it again.

    Yesterday was a better day but I just spent it in bed recovering from feeling so anxious on Monday and Tuesday. It really takes a toll on my body. Today I'm a bit gloomy. Gonna go for a gentle stroll and get some sunshine.

    I think I also have to accept that some of this is down to being two years post-menopause, with fluctuating hormones, and it's debatable how much the drugs are gonna help with that. Really, I just need to learn to roll with the fluctuations a bit better, which is easier said than done. I'm naturally such a 'moving forwards' kind of person, and this is really challenging me to take time out, slow down, rest.

    It's all so strange. I've been on the website called surviving antidepressants a lot, have started a thread in there. I find it really helpful to read about other people's experiences. Also, it helps me to remind myself that I've come a long way since this time last year. I also think that's part of it...my mind has been ruminating a bit on the fact that it was this time last year that I started to crash, and I'm full of regret, which is not really helpful.

    Got some acupuncture coming up later today, am going to ask her to just do something really gentle and soothing.

    One good thing; I do think my sleep has improved over the last two months, which can only be a good sign. I must have slept for about 8 hours last night, which was amazing.

    How are you today? Are you still getting waves from skipping up and down to 7.5mg again. One thing I've learned; settling on a dose can take a LONG time.

    I'm gonna attempt Sainsburys very soon. Oh, the joy ....Wishing you a good day. I guess we just have to learn to take one day at a time, or at least I know I do.

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    • Posted

      Hi Ruth

      A good nights sleep can make a huge difference and if you can get a few of those in a row you will feel much better both physically and mentally, I know I do.

      A common cold always leaves me feeling low and for those of us who suffer from anxiety the emotional stress of worrying and dealing with the symptoms of a cold can make our anxiety worse. Also, I don't know if you were taking any meds for it but some can interfere with citalopram but I'm sure you are aware of that.

      Your doing all the right things though, resting, walking, therapies etc which are all positive steps.

      I get moments of feeling anxious but usually only when I am challenged. I'm better now than I was 6 months ago but if my sister in law comes to visit I know that will set me back somewhat lol. Luckily for me it's not that often, she lives some distance away. I still get side effects of changing my dose, headiness, wooziness etc but if is getting better.

      Good luck with your acupuncture today and your visit to Sainsburys. I love shopping there, I buy my crop top bras from there, so comfy and good value. In fact I'll probably call there today myself when I go to my daughter's house.

      Best wishes Ruth, hope you have a better day today. 😊

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  • Posted

    Thank you Lina πŸ˜ƒ Hope you're good today! I had some acupuncture, and felt great yesterday. Today am okay. Still slightly wobbly but gosh darn, I am determined to go out dancing later. Sober dancing, though. No alcoholic delights for me any more, I just can't take it.

    Funny how May has been a bit of a blip month...it's so weird, all of this, isn't it?

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    • Posted

      Hi Ruth

      Glad you're feeling better. Yes May has been a weird month for me too come to think of it. Headachy all day today, I've not long come home from several hours shopping with mother, just happy to crash now. I wonder if pollen levels have something to do with the way we feel?

      Have a good time tonight, shall think of you dancing the night away whilst I'm in bed lol.πŸ˜€

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    • Posted

      I lasted exactly from 6pm to 9pm, then went home. The music was really uninspiring, but at least had a laugh with a friend about how bad it was.

      Getting used to sober socialising is odd.

      Interesting about pollen levels....hadn't thought of that. I think we are so over sensitized that almost anything could cause a wobble. Well done on the long shopping trip.

      πŸ˜ƒ

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    • Posted

      Awe, at least you tried. I can't stand loud music myself, I get jittery. Whenever I go to a show I wear ear plugs which kind of defeats the object.

      I read somewhere about pollen levels affecting people with anxiety, I'll have to delve a little further.

      Going out to lunch today with family. I take my citalopram at 2pm now so that should help calm me down a bit. No alcohol for me either. Mother can be so trying sometimes😬. Ah well!

      Hope your day is good😊.

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  • Posted

    Hi Ruth

    How are you doing? I came across a youtube video today called " Withdrawal - How long does it last?" by The Lovely Grind, a man named Michael Priebe who came off Paxil and Xanax over 18 to 20 months. It's brilliant, there are lots of other short videos too. Well worth a look in if you have some spare time. He covers many topics, all based on his own experience.😊

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  • Posted

    Hey Lina, thanks very much, am going to check him out! I'm actually feeling a bit better today, which seemed to start yesterday and has lasted. Good sleep for a couple of nights has definitely helped too. How are you today?

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    • Posted

      Hi Ruth

      I had a horrible day yesterday, felt a bit lightheaded at times, wasn't feeling up to doing much. I didn't sleep well the night before so that didn't help. Hoping for a better day today, going out later. I've just watched another of The Lovely Grind videos, the one called You aren't alone. I think they are quite recent videos and they have answered so many questions for me. At least I can understand now that these good and bad days are all part of the withdrawal process. It's what people on this site have described I know, and they are all right and have been a great help but it rings true when you see and hear it from someone who has gone through it.

      I'm glad you're feeling better today. All we can do is build on the good days and know that things will eventually get better. 😊

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  • Posted

    Hey Lina, thanks so much for the recommendation about Lovely Grind, have been watching him and he's soooo inspiring. I am holding tight at 10mg, not increasing, not reducing. Wednesday and yesterday were much better, pretty 'normal' and even happy. Sorry you felt not so hot but you now know what it is...knowledge is power. It's not you going backwards, it's the drugs stabilising in your system. And it takes tiiiiiiiiiime, a whole lotta time. Hoping you have a much better few days now πŸ˜ƒ Here for a chat when you need πŸ˜ƒ

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    • Posted

      Hi Ruth

      How are you? I think I mentioned before that I was feeling lightheaded after taking my med so I went with my gut instinct and reduced from 7.5 to 5 four days ago and haven't had any dizziness or anxiety since. I also changed my time from 2pm to 6pm. I feel so much more relaxed and haven't felt this good in a long time. I know it's early days yet and things could turn around still, but I'm hopeful. I get very tired around 2pm but I push through it and it passes. My sleep is all over the place but that's partly my fault. I'm so hoping this is going to work. πŸ™.

      Hope you're doing ok .😊

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