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Still blipping 9 months in

Posted , 5 users are following.

ruth08109
ruth08109

Hi all, it's me again.

So, May has been absolute pants. I had quite a wobble around 5/6/7 th, (which I think was delayed response to alcohol) and then chilled out. However, since Saturday I've been blipping again. Can't really find a reason why. I do know that I was stressing a bit about what I might be asked to do next academic year at work, and I kind of got into a spiral with worrying about that on Saturday. Then, had parents here on Sunday, which was lovely, but still I think it was quite a lot for me at the moment. Yesterday just couldn't turn the anxiety tap off. Really bad sleep, have had to take time out today.

Be good to hear encouragement from anyone. I have been doing really well with recovery and it's so disheartening to feel poo again. I just don't feel much like doing anything.

I feel like such a whinger!

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  • ruth08109
    ruth08109

    Posted

    Ok, quick update.

    So, June 12th, decided I was going to updose. Am now taking 20mg, after 10 months at 10mg.

    Didn't take the decision lightly, actually had the new prescription for a couple of weeks before doing it.

    10 mg took the edge off for me, but for some reason things came unstuck again over May/June.

    Was having acupuncture also, and am wondering whether that kind of unbalanced me a bit.,...

    Also dealing with menopause, which I think is a huge factor in all of this.

    So today is two weeks at 20mg. Touch wood, the updose hasn't produced too many side effects yet....am still having anxious thoughts, but it's as if they've been dampened down a bit. They aren't winding me up.

    My sleep has improved dramatically. And my appetite is back. It's early days yet. I noticed the 10mg wasn't really lifting the depression, so I'm hoping this does.

    I think all plans about tapering any time soon have gone out the window. Am gonna take the meds for another couple of years. Maybe I won't come off them, who knows.

    Also planning on some HRT, which I hope will help, and have some counselling coming up.

    Have had a couple of weeks off work, too.

    This recovery journey is full of ups and downs, backwards and forwards.

    Hope you're all well.

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