Stoptember - why wait.......

Thanks for your message. Let us support each other. How has your day been today.

But Misssy, with all due respect, will you take the Stoptober challenge - and all the months following?

 

I'm going to try...and alcoholics are exactly as "sabrina" says...making all kinds of deals with the universe.

My thing is..if this person wants to try this sobriety for one month....I am in a position right now to support that goal...and enjoy supporting people and in this case...me committing to staying sober for Sept with this person may help us both.

I have offered the private messaging approach if no one else joins this ride .

Strangely, thou the original poster has not PM'd me...and I plan on staying sober anyway...so it really doesn't phase me either way.

yeah missy, let us do this....

 So, sadly, despite his February 'successes', he died at a young age of cirrhosis.

Yes, people DO make deals with alcohol - and they are just fooling themselves into thinking 'this will work!".

Which is why I do not think that Sados has thought this through.

It's not like giving up chocolate for a month!

AUD is a life-threatening illness. I truly believe that you're setting yourself up to fail. If you think that stopping drinking for September, then carrying on in October (and presumably Stopvember then Stopcember) you just don't understand AUD, Sados.

I wish everyone the best, too, but this idea is nuts.

 

i'm shaking my head.

When I read the original post from sados...what I see is someone who is trying to belong to a community....someone trying to make a commitment...someone suffering from alcohol abuse to the point of losing her family and children.

I really don't understand all the push back.....if this person is addicted to alcohol to the point of losing everything and is trying something different to get better..why post negativity...why not just let it go?

I didn't see anywhere in this persons original post that said she was only going to stop for Sept...but what I read is that this person is starting a commitment for themselves...and was looking for support and a "buddy" or two to join her in her commitment.

I wouldn't even come back to this site if I were her...

 

Misssy, with the best will in the world, she is deluding herself.

How will she feel if she doesn't succeed?

Have you read RHGB's very detailed and (I think) extremely sensible reply?

I for one wouldn't ask anyone with AUD to 'try to give it up for a month.'

That isn't how AUD works, Misssy. You of all people know that. Sorry, i didn't mean ONLY you knew that...........

I'm with RHGB on this one, Misssy. The whole thing is simplistic and extremely naive in my view.

Look, Jim has stopped drinking. But if I said to him How Long Will You Remain Sober I know perfectly well what his answer would be.

He simply wouldn't know, would he?

And that's because he has AUD.

Love anyway to you.

Tess xxxxx

ok, here we are debating on a post where someone was trying something different to curb their alcohol consumption.

My feeling is..if I don't agree with a topic (for example: I did not post on the Sinclair method post that was posted this a.m.) because I have nothing either positive to say or I have no knowledge of the method.

My feeling is...if anyone felt like they could help this poster...than they should post...arguing, questioning a persons will to stop or their method for stopping is not helpful.....and possibly should be done in a PM.

What will everyone learn from the debates going on here? 

 

That's the point, Misssy.

This is a forum where people exchange ideas. If people disagree, they can post and say why they disagree.

I can't agree with something that I don't agree with!

So I have a right, as has everybody, to comment on this post.

True!

 

Ha!

Tess & Missy...while I think it's okay to have your own opinions, and your own strength and experience...I fail to see the benefit of the back and forth bickering to the struggling alcoholic who is hanging on by their fingernails.  (If that's what being sober looks like...no thanks. Right?)

A start towards sobriety is a start.  And I agree, for me the problem wasn't so much stopping...it was STAYING stopped.

So, whether it's one day at a time...or one month at a time...who am I to say what might work for someone.  God has a path and a purpose for all of us.

I am paying a big price for my alcoholism and I now have cirrhosis.  But, rather than giving up...I think there is something God (or my higher power) wants me to do.  So a new chapter has begun for me, and I have never felt so certain that I am going to be okay.  It's freeing...

Anyway, I admire you both for your strength and passion for sobriety, and the willingness and desire to reach out to help a fellow alcoholic.

Have a wonderful, sober holiday weekend!    Sabrina

Missy, we are all entitled to comment on any post we like, especially if we have lengthy experience of what drinking does to you and what are the consequences of ignoring it.

I felt that I made a very relevant comment, that people with alcohol problems cannot just give up for a month on a whim and if they could, then perhaps they didn't really have an issue with alcohol per se.

As for answering threads, with messages that aren't really helpful. I remember starting a thread when I got my hospital records, where I had read them, explained had happened to me and said that I had had no previous warnings and that people might want to take that into account.

I also asked that no one hijack the thread, that it was a very serious thread and I was trying to warn people about what could happen.And that if they wanted to talk about their own issues, then please start another thread. You came on, started posting about how you had relapsed that day (or similar) and took the thread off at a tangent with a few other posters. It wasn't the only time either. So perhaps you need to have a think about learning, that you are quite happy to overturn threads yourself.

You are arguing about arguing and trying to act as referee, everyone is free to post their opinion, which is something you are going to have to get used to.

Eh? Misssy and I are pals.

We don't bicker. We don't always agree with one another but we don't bicker.

Oh, mine will be sober as I have never been a drinker. Tried it a few times and it tasted so horrible I never drank again. (That was forty years ago.)

Sorry to be a bit thick but am I missing something here? Stop for a month then what? Huh?

Two more posts to go, Helen. You'll get there!

No, not being thick. You just give up for a month. Sometimes you grow a moustache for a month or shave you hair. It's all in the name of charidy.

And then, the OP is suggesting, if you get through the first month, you go for a second month, then a third and so on.

It's easy, I don't know what everyone is doing on this forum, just give up for one, two, three months, the rest of your life and it is easy.

If you are struggling, the A-A and 12 steps will sort you out.

Thank you for that.

Perhaps I have no right to post an opinion because I do not have an alcohol problem, But my friend did, So, on his behalf, I think it's a cruel expectation to ask someone who wakes up every day, their body cryng out for a drink, to be faced with the prospect of a whole month at a time!

I'm just trying to understand. We need to learn of other people's struggles or we will be useless at helping should that need ever arise. I have the utmost admiration for those who overcome alcohol addiction.

Thank you again

Helen

Bad boy Rh!!!

But I get what you're saying. wish I'd thought of it myself. Now you've REALLY confused Helen.

He was winding you up. Because of the idiotic naivety of the OP who thinks that giving up for a month - and then another -and then another ad infinitum hasn't got a clue what she's talking about.

And AA is useless.

The best medical treatment for AUD is called The Sinclair Method, which is drug-based. RHGB can explain it to you if he's STILL awake and can be bothered.

I know sarcasm when I see it, lol. I'm the Queen of sarcasm, remember?

Honestly, it's not an issue I have ever delved into, my family friend apart and that was many a year ago. But you know, Tess, it's all very deeply moving. I think there is an abundance of hope and of courage in many of the responses

It gladdens the heart and makes me ashamed of my own insignificant problems

love this place!

thanks for your support Sabrina. i am keen to hear your story if your our ok to share with my privately. i am a christian as well and my faith gas really helped me. s x

hi missy thanks for your support and getying what i am trying to do here. what you said was spot on missy. just support and buddy to join me. Dont worry their negative commnts does not phase me at all. thet xan start anther discussion if their own. uour support would be greatly appreciated. their comnents was very clise o bullying....

yes comment on what yiu do not agree with in a amicable,respectful and professional manner then maybe your point will get across better.

thanks

unfortunately they have no tact whatsoever

Then practise what you preach then!

  This is a Forum, there will be times people have differing opinions. If you wish to have yours respected then you must respect theirs, as opposed to posting unpleasant comments

 

are you kidding me. have you seen there numerous unpleasant posts to me calling bonkers, naive and so on. deluded and so on.

 

Eh? I WAS being amicable and respectful! i just don't agree with your Stoptember thing, that's all. Can'i have an opinion? I wasn't nasty. Where was I nasty?

And where was the bullying?

And it's 'faze', by the way!

And that's just me being a pedagogue.

Well, I'm very surprised to be accused of bullying, so I don't love this place just at the moment.

In fact I'm in tears.

helen i am a very patient person but i will not be made to look like a fool and will fight my corner if i have to and that is exactly what i am doing now. i do not expect you to take sides please just stay ut of it. Thanks

Oh please! You are taking them out of context.

It is a debate with everyone putting forth how they saw the situation. You chose to be offended which is ridiculous. It was a normal healthy discusssion. Just because they did not agree does not mean you can resort to accuse anyone of being a bully, and especially not to accusing Forum members of thinking they own , as you so crudely put it, the f*****g site.

Out of order and inflammatory

You have an idea, you have faith. That's good. Some responders love the idea, others don't. You don't need validation. Go with your idea, prove the disbelievers wrong but don't turn on them.

I  truly wish you all the best in your endeavour

helen is entitled to comment! You can't just tell someone not to comment, saddos.

All the days of the week end in'y' so that's not much use!

...I don't know what is going on..I just got home..but a quick browse...spells nonsense.

Yep.