Straw poll - when were you completely pain free post op ?

It is the million dollar question isn't it!!!

Thank you Dawn, what a kind and lovely message. A glass of wine sounds very tempting and I might just go and get one now!! Just relax...may just do bathtime and story time first and then I will do just that  

 

Oh yes, my intention isn't to compare recoveries, which is completely different for everyone as we know, but really just to know when other people felt like they had properly put it all behind them....skipping around like a newborn lamb and all of that I wondered if there was a guide roughly. Are we talking months or years?? All the consultants indicate a year, but I wondered what the reality is....is it more or less. I need to know for practical reasons, and for planning etc.

 I think there is one thing being 'recovered' and quite another to be back completely on form in every single way. I am learning that one thing mastered we then find another hurdle...and I need a wine and a run up for the next one

Did you have sore muscles Mic in the early days? I find when I am exercising too much or walking too much they have start to ache. Before my hip gave up completely I was very fit (probably my running finished the hip off if I am being honest) so I am quite horrified at just how much my muscles were weakened in the process of the operation. All part and parcel I am sure, but still a surprise....and I suppose I naively thought my age and previous fitness would help (not sure it does!!)

I am sure it will all happen soon enough, it would probably help a great deal if a) I didn't do so much b) I didn't have a bed so soft that I literally can not get out of it Note to self hard beds going forward make all the difference!

 

My dear Rose

It's funny...having been on this site almost a year, when I struggled to put sox on and walk with one crutch at 3 weeks _ there was then an annoying cohort who threw crutches away at 2 weeks and drove about then too!

So certainly yes some soreness...but simply a dull ache I wouldn't class as pain. And rest pretty important too then!

Your pre op fitness is a good thing...do all exercises prescribed, get a good personal trainer before too long, and step counter and a wee dram of whisky is good too.

Love and healing

Mic

X

Thanks MIc. Not sure about throwing the crutches away at 2 weeks...who knows whether they did or didn't....I am not in pain, but wondered when the dull aches etc disappeared...and especially when true energy comes back. 

I am battling against a few elements that are so draining at the momemt, so this is probably largely my problem, and not so much the recovery reflecting now. If I only had myself to care for I would be fine. Happy as anything. As it is I am under a lot of pressure to be completely well and fully functioning, and as you know, you have days when you just need to sit by fire, have a nap when you need one and have time to look after yourself. That is what is missing at the moment, time to rest and relax. 

It is seems simple doesn't it, we should not overdo it and we would be absolutely fine. It would easy if we were to just take it gently.

But the reality is different, I just can't take so much time out, already I feel everyone around me is a little bit over the whole thing, and ready just to crack on and expect me to do more than I am capable of. It is coming from everywhere friends, family, children etc, everyone expects me to back on form, and I am not, not quite.

I also have the added problem of the other hip really playing up, my groin is killing me as I speak which isn't helping matters!! It is just one of those days and I just needed to know I am not the only soul who has days like this

Oh Rose, your comment about everyone being over the whole thing really struck a chord! I think because my husband and daughters see me more mobile and capable of doing certain things, it's almost like they're saying to themselves, yep she's cured, back to normal! If only that was the case. We revert to the role of Mum and Wife quicker than we hold onto the role of Patient! I am 100% behind you. X

Oh wow! I'm new here so hello! I can so relate to your comment about everyone expecting us to be back to normal just because we're up & doing things! My family thinks I should be doing everything I did before surgery, clean the house, do laundry, cook dinner every day with no help from anyone! They don't understand that I get tired very easy still! I am 6 weeks post surgery & haven't returned back to work because I work on my feet for hours & don't think I am ready yet. It's nice to read what others are going through!

Rose, it is SO HARD when others expect more from us than we can give. It is up to us to educate them on what we can and cannot do, and to tell them that some days are better than others. Do your best to remain calm about it all, and just don't do what you can't. They can flip out if they need to, but they haven't had a major insult to their bodies like you have! It's very hard to watch loved-ones be disappointed with our lack of progress to suit them, but I, for one, can watch it. Better than hurting myself. Be kind to yourself FIRST!

Too right there Annie.

Only another hippie would know just how hard recovery is.

Right, Graham, especially those of us who are taking such a darn, long time to recover! After much education, my family is finally resigned to me not being a hiking wizard yet. Tomorrow I am hoping for some answers from that new doctor.

I can relate so much to your post, when you first have the operation every one rallies round you doing all the things you can,t .I am 5myths post op and feel like I have took a step back in my recovery my thighs ache down the fronts, I still have groin pain &find it difficult to put socks on +tie shoelaces.I am swimming two days a week +walking regularly &and also still doing the physio exercises. My left hip will need replacing shortly I know it will take time for it all to settle down but I really thought things would be easier by now . I too am having a bad day so your not the only one feeling this way. Keep your chin up I am sure those pain free days are just round the corner.x

You are so right recovery is hard

One thought has struck me when you describe how others expect you to be back to normal faster than you can in reality. 

You only have ONCE to heal RIGHT.  

Mine was a revision and it has been more challenging than the first THR, and I still struggle, a year post op, with low energy levels.  I beat myself up by telling myself that I need to be doing this and that.  I am raising my three grandchildren alone, so there are demands upon me also.

Be kind to yourself.  I am working on that for myself too.  We can do what we can do, and that is all.  Be bold and educate those around you about your recovery.

Hugs

Dawn, USA

THIS IS WHERE YOU NAILED IT ROSE!

 I feel everyone around me is a little bit over the whole thing, and ready just to crack on and expect me to do more than I am capable of. It is coming from everywhere friends, family, children etc, everyone expects me to back on form, and I am not, not quite.

My family, two grown daughters and huband, have been and continue to be, marvelous supports. But it is growing tiresome to everyone--even me talking about it-- especially with me having both hips done 7 wks apart. The convalescence feels very extended. Friends who were super attentive, cards, meals etc. the first go round are not so present now. (at all). My kids don't volunteer to do things so much because they know they'll be met with a list.

I do want to step up. My one daughter is newly pregnant (Hooray!!) but very tired and morning sick and the other one has her own busy life and hubby is just wanting me to resume the cooking, etc. most of all.(and believe me, I want to)  The problem is that I feel like there is a gap between the amount of care and nurturing that I still need and their realities. And it's totally valid from all perspectives--no one to blame-- but yes, what Dawn said, "struck a chord" ~ TRUTH: WE ARE ALL OVER THE WHOLE THING. EXcept our poor healing bodies.....

 

I do a very physical job and I went back to work after 3 months...I still took awhile to get my shoes on and bending over was still hard, but no real "pain"

i had anterior left total hip.

Oh yes, with you there 100%

I've been at this since late October now - and it's getting to me 

It's as if I should be up and going to work by now (I should have been if it had all gone right), but I am still only 6 weeks post revision, so should have another 6 weeks to go.   See the surgeon next week, meanwhile the TEDs are coming off today !!!

Meanwhile, I see that the TV presenter Eamonn Holmes uses the same TEDs that I do ..... see his feet in the picture.

.

We are SO over it, literally months ago I was over it, and yet my body does not seem to understand that I am tired of this now, and so is everyone else. It still wants me to do things like resting! 

I think many of my friends put a time frame of a broken leg next to my hip replacement, it is NOTHING like it. I can't do anything to educate them beyond telling them that I need longer before I can do out for dinner/look after their children/go out shopping or even face a glass of wine in the evening. I am too tired looking after everything and everyone and still trying to get better...

I am sure it will get easier, it just isn't the case at the moment, it was easier for me week three when no one expected anything from me. I could just get on by myself and get better!

I have tried to be bolder, and to explain that I am not up to pre op levels, but I have been off the radar for a long time, as I could not manage to do very much before my opertation. So in totality it has been a very long time....and it seems to go on and on....

I do have just one time to heal properly and I am trying so hard, but it is a pressure a long with everyting else.

I don't want to get to breaking point, but it is fast approaching. 

Maybe our expectations also change Suzy, and this is a source of strain and stress for us. We need to take things more gently if it was possible. In today's world we need to make some space, time and energy for recovery. It is not easy!

Pressure to be well can be intense from all sides, and I only wish to protect myself from all of this until I am better. If I could hide under a rock I would!

Absolutely I am with you on that Annie.

It is the case, fortunately for them, that they have no idea just how difficult and tiring the recovery can be, and so it may well not be on everyone else's time scale or convenience, but that is life... you are doing so well to keep going, resisting the pressure, and keep going. We will get there!

Thank you for your message Dawn. That is it definitely. Now I am walking aorund and taking up where I left off, everyone around me expects me to go back to full speed, fully operational back to normal no questions asked...not on any level do I feel ready for this....not physically (I become so tired so quickly) not emotionally (I still feel fragile) and most of all I am worried that the break neck speed of life will injure my hip in some way, I just can NOT go back to that way of life after this, not now, maybe not ever. I feel too cautious to rush around. 

Caring for my husband and children around the clock because they are all ill has been particularly difficult this week, and I prayed each day would get easier or something to improve. 

The many demands of being a mum, a wife and also working doesn't provide enough time to get truly better. I am fighting for that time now. I have to change things.

Valleygirl this is exactly my position. It is tricky and if you can put off going back to work for as long as possible I really would consider it. I am 10 weeks and so tired still....and I am not properly back to pre op levels as I am still yet to go back to work....if you are struggling now, wait until you can manage on the home front and then think about returning to work. Particularly if your work is demanding.

We are often under too much pressure on a normal day, without a hip replacement! 

Rose, 

i am SO with you with all those posts there, you are obviouslyhaving a 'low' period at the moment.  My work is now phoning me to see when they can get me back in, I know it's been 16 weeks since I was working, but I am just 6 weeks past the second operation.

As you say, there is no comparison between a broken leg and THR. The savage way they treat the leg in the operation, all the bits we have sawn, drilled and hammered in us.   Absolutly no-one except another hip replacement patient knows what we go through.  Even the best of partners who see what we experience don't get to feel it.

Best wishes

Graham

Hi Rocket. 

Thank you for your post, I suspect you are right and I am just hitting a wall. Was hoping to be back to my normal self by now....but I wonder if we completely change during this experience. It is is an interesting development that hasn't happened with anything in my life. Hopefully it is temporary.

I can imagine your office are trying to whisk you back and you are probably some pressure now? But you work in Central London, and that place is not for the faint hearted in good health. I would not be rushed back. The commute is brutal and you have a cast iron reason. 

Is it not possible to work from home a little? Although I am aware like me, there are no options to work from home in certain areas.

Do you feel tired of it all some days? 16 weeks is a long time, and I am a mere 10 weeks just. Having said that you have been hugely productive, and have left a legacy for others, which is an amazing achievement especially given what you have been through.

I think I need to do something similar when I have five minutes of head space! We can use these feelings positively in the same way you have.

Rose,

This recovery lark really takes it out of you, that is for sure.  I am sure we do change after this.  Some people seem to 'breeze' through it, and others have loads of physical and mental problems (us included).

Sadly, it is impossible for me to work from home, so it'll beback to the early morning commute on packed train, tube and bus.

The toll this takes on us is huge, which is why I started my website - I am so glad I did, even if I only help a handful of people, it's been worth it.  It really has helped me to come to terms with my extended and unexpected period of disablement.

Graham

Haha. Your sense of humor serves you well. Hoorah for NO MORE TEDS!

I'm thinking maybe I should skip the make up and just continue to drag about in yoga pants instead of trying to put  a good face on things. When the dark circles under my eyes are more visible I get more sympathy. 

Hello Gail!

i'm sure you are lovely wotever you wear -

and, less important than you, inside, a pretty frock and MAC mascara might be nice for you and your loved one too!

good healing time...

mic

x

thanks, mic!