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struggling today

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tina89895
tina89895

Woke several times during the night dreaming yet again. I've had thoughts and visions for the past few days of driving into water, sat in my car by the side of the canal yesterday imagining it, I even looked up on the internet how do you get out of a sinking vehicle, you don't have long. Been out for a drive today to try and clear my head but ended up by the sea which is really rough today, it looked so inviting just to jump in the big waves and get bashed around in the water. I feel quite numb, vacant again as if I'm not all here. I just want to self destruct, but don't  know how or why. Taken 5mg diazepam to try and chill out and relax but my mind won't stop these thoughts. 

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  • grandmaw
    grandmaw tina89895

    Posted

    Dont worry Tina, I do understand where you are coming from, I forgot to say many years ago I lost my job working in the office with accounts etc because I had a breakdown and didnt know whether I would be out of hospital within 6 weeks to go straight back to work, I couldnt give them a answer and lost, really that was my last proper job for years.  Another problem I had with a giant grocery store when i went for a interview, I felt it had gone really well, then he asked if I had any psycial health problems which I said no, then he asked about my mental state, so I told him truthly and later that day he phoned me to say he had to give it to someone else because of my mental health I was livid with that, if it had been in the last few years I would have taken them to court because its discrimulation.  I really hope you are ok and you can sleep well tonight sounds if you need too. Take care, I will try and find you other discussion. Thanks
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