Stupid and pathetic !!!!!!!!!!!
Posted , 10 users are following.
Forget the depression forget the personality disorder! I'm still a pathetic stupid and horrible person! I've tried and failed to be nice, to be a better person but nothing worked! Guess I can't change who I really am? The next life I'm hoping will be better, I'll be loved or at least liked. I'll be a nice person someone who people want to be around. I will try so hard to be a good/better person...I really hope I get that chance, I wish that there is another life after this and I can try to be a better person, to have a better life and if not then I hope there's nothing...literally nothing! No memories, no heartache no nothing..just nothing !
0 likes, 18 replies
phillip09746 dondons
Posted
I've been where you are. There is a treatment that works, you just have to find the one that works for you. Also, keep in mind that life is a complete s**t show. It's no surprise that we're all miserable, and it doesn't help that our depressive minds are set to find misery instead of happiness.
lucy1969 dondons
Posted
Hey dondons
Depression causes our thoughts to be skewed. It lies to us, it makes us believe we are worthless, unloved, disgusting and pointless.
But these thoughts, no matter how real they seem are lies. I have these thoughts daily and I believe them with all my heart. But a tiny part of my mind knows this is the depression talking. We need to learn how to be able to filter out these thoughts or change our reaction to them. It won't be easy. It will be tough, really tough. But with the right support, it might, just might be possible. What have we got to lose? We might as well try...
dondons lucy1969
Posted
I know what you're saying but it's hard, I don't like who I am and how I think xx
amanda35274 dondons
Posted
Laserbeam dondons
Posted
Hate to be the realist here but we only get one life. I'm not sure what you did to make yourself think your a bad person. I've read your messages before and I don't think you are a bad person. You made the most of life so far. One thing we know is that life is precious and if you are healthy, not retarded and able to go online be thankful not regretful. A lot of us are clinically depressed on here and your words aren't helping.
dondons Laserbeam
Posted
What do you by mean "your words aren't helping?
Aspinan dondons
Posted
Dondons, just because you've tried to be nice or a better person doesn't make you pathetic, stupid or a horrible person the fact that your concerned about it actually makes you a person who cares and that speaks volumes.
What help are you getting for yourself? If you've had it all inc meds and talking therapy hasn't worked then the next stage is to find pease with the person you are, although I suspect your depression and personality disorder is the major player at the present time.
What thoughts make you think your not a good or better person, what thoughts stop you believing your not going to have a better life?
On a final note what meds are you taking and have you had professional therapy, not just the bog standard CBT but specialist psychotherapy.
Dondons, I was once told by a psychiatrist that if you try half as hard into your recovery than you did to put yourself in the current situation then you will always get better.
dondons Aspinan
Posted
Yes I've had therapy meds, counselling and what not. I'm waiting for a new therapy ATM I just worry that I can't change me you know? And maybe that's the problem xx
anna17409 dondons
Posted
dondons anna17409
Posted
I don't live with my mum, I am a mum of 5 myself. I've tried and am trying to get all the help I can just wish there were a quick fix as I feel like with each day I'm breaking more and more and losing myself xx
anna17409 dondons
Posted
Oh thats great. You have 5 wonderful kids. Thats your real wealth. First of all you have think better of yourself. Look in the mirror and keep saying " I am not half as bad as i think myself to be. I am just not well so i am thinking like this. I need to do whatever it takes to get well not only for myself but for my children too". Keep repeating this as much as you can especially when you are really down and though it may take some time you will start believing what you are saying. In the meantime search out all possible avenues to get help.
anna17409
Posted
dondons anna17409
Posted
bytheseaside dondons
Posted
Hang in there dondons it's just the mind sending you negative self images and it's very difficult to manage, I know. Just because you maybe did or said something negative, idk, doesn't mean you're a horrible person, it just means you're a human being - keep telling yourself that. I battle self negativities all the time, my gosh, and in fact you sound like a nice person. We all are! It's just the mind playing it's tricks... Hang in there!
dondons bytheseaside
Posted