Suicidal After Breakup

Haz, sorry to hear that. I suggest you seek some support help.

I, my husband, and both my kids went through a spell of depression and anxiety around your age. All I can say is it seems to be something most young people go through (girls usually go through it around 14-17, boys later). Some are just better at disgusing it, but a LOT of young people go through it. I suspect it's hormonal, and once the hormonal changes finally level off, it's not so bad. Try to just live for the day and not overthink things or ruminate. Find mindless distractions that take your mind off thinking about how you feel, like a hobby, video games, or whatever you enjoy. I know that's really hard to do, but that phase does seem to pass for most people. 

Haz,

thank you for sharing how you feel I know that even posting on a forum can be quite a challenge but I hope it has also been some form of release. I understand that right now you feel pain and because of your condition you are blaming yourself for the problems with your girlfriend. The truth here my friend is that you need help now is not a time for a stiff upper lip and a get a grip, you would do well to go and see your GP and if you have trouble saying what you feel consider showing hem the above post. I have been in the dark place you find yourself now and neither drink, drugs or suicide are the answer but help is there and if you are honest with them they can help. You mention you feel at a point where ending your life is a possibility, I hope that you can stay strong enough to get help. As a mental health sufferer I to want to live a normal life, what helps is me is that every day I acknowledge that I have a medical condition and that is why I feel the way I do, I am not odd, differential, mental or thick, I am an ill person getting better. Please keep in touch and let me know how you get on

namaste 

You should write down all your feelings now. You are going through a very painful period which most of us have experienced during our lifetime, and it won't be the last. You say you can write, so do it. Try to find some positive things about not being with that particular girl. Write it all down. You have my sympathy: I've been there.

hi Haz. my heart goes out to u in this very painful dilemma. u sound at rock bottom & heart broken. it's difficult to know what to say to lift ur spirits. however, just remember most of us will have been in this heart breaking kind of situations at some point in our lives or other - usually when we're young like u, and not so well equipped/experienced to deal with multiple knocks all at once. and we survived, learned how to navigate such painful situations and arrived on higher ground.

being 'imperfect' is part of life and the human condition. none of us arrive 'perfect'. in fact there's no such thing as perfect. think of how boring it would be if there was. accepting that & accepting yourself as u are is a good starting point. ur doing ur best and when u get through this (which seems to be ur lowest point) things can only get better. the darkest hour is before the dawn so to speak.

can u get someone to talk to, whose non judgemental & a good listner. just having someone witness & validate our pain can be very healing. being truly listened to can kick start that healing process. there's always the smaratians. they're usually very compassionate & understanding. they may be able to put things in perspective for u and with u. give them a ring. meantime try to stop beating urself up. maybe this is an opportunity in disguise to help u get the proper help u need, to kick start ur writing again & to turn ur circumstances around.

positive/healing thoughts going ur way.

Caitlin

Hi im 21 years old and ive been where you are before, but never thought suicide as an option because i truly believe pain (mentally physically and emotionally) is your body's way of releasing weakness from oneself. Some others might not but we all have diff views and beliefs. Anyways ive had to many bad patches in my life. My younger years were spent drunk and high. Rarely was i sober. Ive had break ups that were 100% devastating. Ive cried for months, drank vodka every night ect. But i can honestly tell you it will get better. Theres always a light to the darkness or so to speak. From experience drinking will not solve your problems. It might numb you for the time being but the pain and issues will still be there like they were before you put the alcohol to your lips. Take some time for yourself. Do things you wanna do. Like writing. I myself love to write. You said you dont have anything to write about but write about yourself and your experiences. Even the pain you feel now. It may or may not help but i think you should give it a try. Then when you have yourself in a good place, and everything straightened out give her a call and see if yous could work it out. A break might feel like the end of the world but its not always a bad thing. If you need to talk you can always message me. Good luck with everything!