suicidal and terrified

Hello fee,

you can get through this awful time one distraction idea at a time,  you need to occupy your self with something constructive,  some thing that makes you active. You may not feel like leaving your computer just now,  looking for answers, watching for replies on here,  you can play card games,  how about 'Patience', have you ever tried that on your comp?   Is sounds so simple, it is simple but the little act of moving cards around helps your mind,   put the sound on as well so that you hear the snap of the cards,  you will get fed up of it,  it's frustratating when you keep losing - and you can't cheat with Patience on line,  but you are doing something that distracts your mind and does not need a lot of concentration to get right.   I play it often when I get so low and my thoughts turn to dispair,  it just breaks the line of thought until you are able to move on to doing something else.  tidy your drawers out in the bedroom,  go through what you have worn and what you havn't,  make a pile of what you havn't worn for a long time,  wash them and iron them to give to a charity shop.  Just keep doing and doing and doing,  your mind will have to follow your hands,  don't just sit thinking fee,  be as busy and as driven as you can be until you tire yourself out.  

One hour, two hours will pass,  your thoughts will be different thoughts because you can't stop thinking but you can distract your mind with your body and physically doing things.   Please give it a try fee,  do you have 'glory hole'  ... a cupboard that everything and anything goes in?  \clear it out.  

You are scared and don't know what to do ...................   with your mind and your thoughts - thoughts that scaring you and they hurt,  do some thing active fee,  get your self busy with a simple but time consuming activity,  don't stop unless you think of another drawer or cupboard that also needs sorting out.  Try fee,  just give it a try.   

You are going to get past this,  it will be tomorrow  _  which never comes anyway very soon and goodness knows what a new day will bring,  maybe a bag of clothes that you will need to take out to a shop,  the walk will help, you will meet people and chat with them,  just keep doing and going and not stopping to think.

Keep in touch on here and tell us about what physical things you are busy with.  

Big hug fee,  you are going to feel better really you are,  will get through this.

love to you fee

Jessie xx

I am 47 years old I've been through a lot of my life. Your twenties is very hard time and a lot of emotions and pressure in your life. I know I was at the point of thinking about killing myself so I went skydiving and it put everything in perspective just facing death. A lot of people including my best friend changed his mind after he took a lot of pills and he wanted to live. 911 was on the way after he called, he told the operator what he had done and how much he wanted to live. He died.. it ripped his family apart. It did so much damage to his family and his father never recovered...and I have thought of him eve day for the last 20 years.. Something I've found out in my 20"s Your life can change in one day for the best. Depression is a chemical imbalance.. you have taken the first step asking for help.. please see a psychiatrist or therapist and tell them what's going on in your life. Life can change on a dime and one day it will all change for the better. It changed for me within a short period of time. If you do feel that close to ending it please go skydiving for bungee jumping. I recommend skydiving resolve the problems in your life after jumping will seem much smaller. Good luck. I wish I can leave my phone number on here for you? If its not against the rules please make another post and I will leave you my phone number. There's a lot of people that really do care, more than you ever think. You will find later in life or even tomorrow. Life can be very sweet ... thank you for posting. Chris price

I am 47 years old I've been through a lot of my life. Your twenties is very hard time and a lot of emotions and pressure in your life. I know I was at the point of thinking about killing myself so I went skydiving and it put everything in perspective just facing death. A lot of people including my best friend changed his mind after he took a lot of pills and he wanted to live. 911 was on the way after he called, he told the operator what he had done and how much he wanted to live. He died.. it ripped his family apart. It did so much damage to his family and his father never recovered... I have thought of him eve day for the last 27 years.. Something I've found out in my 20"s Your life can change in one day for the best. Depression is a chemical imbalance.. you have taken the first step asking for help.. please see a psychiatrist or therapist and tell them what's going on in your life. Life can change on a dime and one day it will all change for the better. It changed for me within a short period of time. If you do feel that close to ending it please go skydiving for bungee jumping. I recommend skydiving because the problems in your life after jumping will seem much smaller. Good luck. I wish I can leave my phone number on here for you? If its not against the rules please make another post and I will leave you my phone number. There's a lot of people that really do care, more than you ever think. You will find later in life or even tomorrow. Life can be very sweet ... thank you for posting. Chris price

Fee sweetheart are you ok?  Come back in and let us know please.  Don't do anything silly,  we are all here for you you know and will do everything we can to keep you with us.  I have been there too,  don't lost hope. 

I faced this choice in my 20's too - I realised I had to take action and it was a stark choice between killing myself or giving myself a chance of life.   I decided on the latter keepng the former as an option.   I worked out what I wanted and needed and started teaching myself how to get them.   It worked and my life changed a lot for the better.  If I can do this so can you.  Don't listen to your depression thoughts as they are false and deceptive.  Do everything you can to sort your life out and please never never give up.   Lots of hugs.  Bev xx

 

I'm sorry - I have received so many unbelievably wonderful replies here. You are all right and you are all so lovely to take the time to write to me. 

I still feel at a crossroads, I'm trying to fight it off because I don't want things to end this way. But I can't stop shaking, my head hurts so much, it's all just tearing me up inside! It hurts so much both physically and mentally, I have got through it before, I want to again, but it's just so tempting to lie down and accept defeat.