Suicidal plans

Posted , 11 users are following.

I've been through therapy, medication doesn't work, almost about to lose my job, no friends no family and I don't see the point in going on. There's nothing left hidden in my psyche now. It's all exposed. But that's all a lie that opening up solves your problems.

There is not one thing left for me to do here.

2 likes, 33 replies

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  • Posted

    Hi Ted life is hard for everyone don't give up hope I've been in a similar situation. and trying to cope was very hard for me at one point but people on here have helped me alot.

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  • Posted

    Hi ted I'm also feeling like that,but coming on here and getting good advice will help you please believe me there is always hope,what is going on with you at the moment x

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  • Posted

    its the depression thats making you feel this way and it needs addressing in such a way that it eases off,wether that be by medication,talking to people or by getting an endorphine rush through exersise of some description,but know this its not somthing that you are going through alone its something that is a world wide thing,now im not saying that it will make things easyier for you as its a pritty lonesome thing depression but just knowing its not just you that feels this way is helpfull,things do get easier with the right directio,STAY STRONG AND KEEP FIGHTING THE FIGHT MY FRIEND
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  • Posted

    Hi Ted,

    I am in a very similar position. I buried my last family member earlier this year, isolated myself from most of my friends and my career took a nose dive.

    What is interesting is how quickly things turn bad then can also turn good.

    I don't know if you believe in God, but suicide will mean you will be damned. Please I beg you, I know how you feel. I really do. Please, hang in. This is a great place to know you are not alone.

    It breaks my heart to hear your situation and so many like yours here. But, we have to stick together and talk please.

    I live in the dark place that you do. I just feel it has to get better so I try.

    Is there anything that makes you happy?

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  • Posted

    Hi guys

    Thanks for sharing your feelings. It does really help to know others are going thru the same thing.

    I don't know what to do. I mean I have a doctor and therapist. I'm on medication, which doesn't work but yet I've been on it for 3 years, any therapy session I go to leads to days of self harm after. I'm afraid if I go to hospital I will lose my job, I'm on probation, and I have nobody to turn to if I get into financial difficulties. If I lose my job I won't even have rent for a month meaning I'll be out on the street.

    I wish things had been so different

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  • Posted

    Hi ted,

    I was in a simular position about 34 years ago. I walked off into the woods with a bottle of scotch and boxes of tablets. After taking them and the scotch I started thinking about my family, staggering around in the woods it suddenly seemed important to tell someone why I had done it.

    I found a telephone box at the end of a track and dialled the operator. I tried to explain that I wanted to call home but couldn't remember the number.

    Next thing I woke up in hospital, having had my stomach pumped. I was put into a ward with terminally ill patients, they were fighting for their lives, I had stupidly tried to end mine. Don't give up, battle it and emerge stronger.

    Best of luck, mike.

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    • Posted

      Hi Mike

      That's a really inspirational story. Thanks for sharing it

      You must have been quite young. I managed to fight and win a horrendous battle with alcohol. I guess now I'm sober I have to deal with life. It is great to hear your story

      Thanks

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  • Posted

    HI Ted, hope today was better for you. Keep writing here. It always helps me to know I am not alone.  If your meds, therapy.. are not working change them. 

    I don't think doctors are always right.

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  • Posted

    As much as reading this saddens me greatly, I am glad you are talking about your problems in a public space and at least trying to engage dialogue about what's going on.

    Life is not easy, but it's a worth-while journey. Some of us have more trials than others, but that makes us no less valuable of a human being. Seeing past the din of our depression is sometimes the most difficult thing a person ever has to do; I haven't managed yet, myself.

    I'm alive today because of random people deciding that they aren't going to let me commit suicide. People who had nothing to do with me, or my life, risking their own because they wanted to show me I mattered, that my life mattered, and that giving up isn't the answer. Going to self-help groups made me realise that I wasn't alone, and suddenly I had friends who actually understood me, capable of relating to and reaching me.

    I know what it's like to be at the bottom of the river, looking up, wondering why the heck you should even bother swimming to the surface. The feeling of eternal darkness and dread, your life suddenly having no meaning or purpose beyond getting to the next day. But you CAN find that meaning, that purpose, again. Maybe it doesn't happen today, or tomorrow, or next month, but it will come if you try and don't give up hope. Never be afraid to reach out to other people; we, like many others, WILL reach back and never give up on you. You are not alone.

    Hmmm... If your medication isn't working, try another one; when I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I had to go through over 14 med combinations before finding the one that works, and even then I got swapped over to setraline. This process took over 7 years. Meds for depression normally take up to 3 months to be in full effect, so if it's not working for you still, I'd say talk to your GP about getting a swap.

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  • Posted

    Thanks everyone for replying.

    I'm not that familiar with medications and that other then what I've taken. I was taking venlafaxine 300 for ages but no good so I got it deceased.

    My doctor and medical team believe that medication won't work for me though. Has anyone else had that response? I assume that medication works for people who suffer depression for no reason other than a chemical problem?

    Unfortunately my depression reason is really obvious. I suffered years of abuse as a child which has clearly ruined my life. I assume that medication doesn't work for people in my situation that you need to come to terms with it or something?

    I don't suppose anyone with medical background posts here?

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    • Posted

      Venlafaxine is an anti-depressant meant to treat major depressive disorder and/or panic/anxiety disorder. If you haven't been diagnosed with either of these, then you are definetely not taking the right medication. These are meant for people with chemical inbalances in the brain, thus work to replace what is missing and make the brain function properly.

      There ARE medications for chronic depression, which is normal depression lasting in severity for over 2 years. But like with any form of depression, a cure doesn't come overnight and there is no wonder pill that fixes everything. Your best bet is to go to a psychiatrist and get yourself properly diagnosed, so you know exactly what you're dealing with (knowing what's wrong with you is half the battle) and from there you can setup a plan.

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  • Posted

    I was put on the venlafaxine by a Psychiatrist. I cant afford that level of care now though. I'd imagine you get prescribed different things by different people. Certainly that drug doesn't seem to work for be.

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  • Posted

    Hi

    I wanted to give an update on my situation. I actually feel alot better now. Obviously that's all relative and clearly I'm not OK whatsoever. But I'm managing now. I reassessed things with my doctor and going to start therapy again soon. I've several hurdles to get over but I'm feeling more able to get through them.

    I guess I'm really learning the value of therapies outside of medication. I think meds are way over prescribed. People want them and the only effects I would imagine are 99% placebo. Talking and sharing is much better. And eventually learning and being able to do things again. I think you have to accept nothing will make you better but yourself. Once you accept that and stop fooling yourself that different combinations of medicine will help you can start to get on.

    Thanks everyone for being here during a bad time. Hopefully with everyone's help I'm gonna start getting better from here.

    Best of luck to anyone on the same journey

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    • Posted

      Hi Ted. Been reading the posts on here. People would be lying if the said they have never been where you are now. When you existentually think about this life we have, it is easy to believe that there really isn't much meaning to us being here. We say that our lives, being lived, don't make any difference in the universe. I have felt that way too. The funny thing about this assumption is that we are assuming that we know everything about the universe and all of it's possibilities and outcomes, when we don't. Everything in nature, including the universe is tied together. Which means that our lives have purpose. Even if we can't see it. Let yourself be selfish and take care of yourself my friend. It's not a crime. Hope this helps.

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