Suicidal plans

Hi Ted and Will,

So glad you are feeling more positive Ted, well done.

Will, you are growing up and finding out what life can be like, bloody hard!

When everything is done for you at a younger age by parents or guardians it comes as a shock when you are solely responsible for yourself.

You are experiencing all sorts of positive and negative thought and deeds. Trouble is ,as in life in general, you centre on the negatives. Don't worry if you mess up, we all do, only some can hide it better than others. Try to find something, anything , that you enjoy doing.

For myself, I am a 66 year old male, deep-deep depression, anxiety and ptsd. Massive breakdown. My wife came back from the shops one day, here she said, it was cheap so I bought it for you.

Elder Scrolls Skyrim for my ps3. I had never played anything other that fps, but I gave it a go. It saved my mind. The story pulled e into a world that I was in control of. I immersed myself into that game and it helped me to get my mental health under control. I am not saying that would work for anyone else, but it worked for me because my mind was working, it brought back my reasoning.

Try to find your Skyrim moment.

Good luck.

Mike.

Hi Ted/Will,

Ted ,you need to be into gaming with a p.c. or games consul able to play the video game called Skyrim. As I said to Will it may only work for certain individuals.

If you are into these games have a go you should be able to get a copy online, just make sure it's in a suitable format for your player.

Will,, okay you play Skyrim, what about Fallout 4, that's what I have been playing all year. Or Far Cry 4, I couldn't get onew as well with that, preferred FC.

All I am saying is fill your mind, get it working on something harmless, that way you are not so easily distracted and go back to negative thoughts.

Will, you got a quick response because we all try to be here for each other, learn from your experience and maybe look out for others that only need to know they are not alone, they are not worthless, we all count on this website.

Best of luck to you Will and Ted too.

Mike.

Hi Will,

Okay, like I said before, I am a 66 year old male. I only got into gaming about 10 years ago while playing WW 1,2,3 with my grandson.

Before that I had a full and enjoyable adult life. When I was 61 I fell off a ladder at work and done severe irreversible damage to my spinal cord.

Suddenly my life changed, I lost all my strength, my business, my creditworthiness.Everything I had worked so hard all my life for was suddenly grounded.

I became reclusive,moody, aggressive. The world owed me and I wanted my life back, but it wasn't coming back. Playing Skyrim (could have even a different game), focused my mind.

I went to councilling and told my councillor about ps3 games, she recommended me to carry on, if it is working fair enough, I also discussed it with my GP. Suprisingly, she told me her youngest son has physiological problems and it helps him too, so again I was told it was okay.

Now ,I can see why your parents are worried, I would be worried for my child, but it helped/helps.

It gives you motivation and that's what we all need. If your parents read this letter it may assure them, if they want to contact me at this site that's okay.

Best of luck to you Will.

Mike.

Hi Will.

Even if it's helping you now, which would be good by the way and you should stick with it, you will need to find out what is causing you to feel down and there may need to be other things there to help you.

I don't think my story would have much use to you but I suffered a really bad time when I was young. It wasn't my fault, and I'm sure that's the same for you. I tried dealing with it then and it did help at the time. I told my doctor first. Just said to my parents I needed to see one. They didn't ask why. If they did I'd just have said I'd a flu coming on or it was something private. You have a right to privacy as well you know!

Anyway, I think it'd be a great step for you maybe to do that or a school counsellor.

I'm a few years older now and to be honest still find dealing with family hard. I've a job and all that and make big decisions at work but feel like a child again when I'm with my family. I still ask my current doctor on advice when I'm talking to them. So I know how that can be and it's OK not to be able to or be comfortable to.

Also when I first went to see a doctor, probably around your age, there were things on my mind. I asked if I could say them in confidence first, and the doctor put his pen down and said of course

Hi Will just saw your questions on anti depressants as well. The answer is your doctor or a specialist if your doctor thinks it's better for you. Side effects, not really while on them no. At least not for me.

When you want to stop then yes. Difficult to stop taking them.

I found alot of advice on medication online to be pretty bad if I am honest. I'm on a very particular type of medicine now to help me, it's not an anti depressant, and there's alot of bad stories online.

But the truth is all situations are different. Even if someone is on the same drug as you, they don't have your family, or job, or financial background.

So everything is unique to you. Again, taking to your doctor I think would be the best.

Keep it up though!

Hi Will. I first went to the doctor about my depression wen I was 15. I'm not sure exactly what age you are, but I was quite young. I didn't tell my parents first. I went to the doctor just told them "about something I just wanted to check "

They didn't ask. Could you do the same.

If you're finding it to hard to talk to someone in person could you try what I was saying about the samaritians? They're in the UK and Ireland anyway not sure where else. They have a free phone number where you can ring up and nobody knows. You can say as little or as much as you want, and trust me, I've also rang talked briefly got upset and hung up the phone, so don't worry if you do that. Nothing happens and you can call back another day.

Do you think you could start with that? They also answer emails free of charge.

I've used that in really bad times too.and you probably have email on your phone even

Take care.

Hi Will,

Me again. It's a shame that games are off limits for now but let's try something else.

You are young, I was once to. In my time there were various hobbies that seem to have disappeared. I loved stamp and coin collecting, looking up all of the different countries and learning a little bit about each of them. Same with coins, they were never expensive and widely available at coin shops. Of course these are all available on the Internet these days

Do you have any interests that you could rekindle it may help with your thoughts.

If not browse the internet. I remembered that I collected comics in the 1970's I have full sets of the Fantastic and Terrific comics, they were comics for the U.K markets that were reprints of the original U.S. comics.

According to Amazon website they are actually collected now. Same with my LP vinyl Hendrix originals.

None of this may interest you but for a young boy in the 50s-60s who was routinely tied face down on a bed and belted till he bled it was a great distraction.

I do hope you can find a way through these tough times, they are only preparing you to survive in the future.

Mike.

Hi Will,

Wrong, you have us, on this site to help you with your negative thoughts.

It would be incredible if any one person on this planet never had a negative thought.

It is part of our human make up.

It is a survival technique from the dawn of humanity, negative thoughts keep you aware, on guard looking for any danger.

Trouble is these days we don't have to worry to much about survival,most of the time the worry is taken away from us

. We therefore dwell on the negative of every little thing, instead of on the positives of life.

When you look back on this time of your life you will realise how many positive things happened, you just didn't see them so clearly that's all.

Mike