suicidal thoughts

Mark.

If you are having suicidal thought Hun,then you are either depressed or anxious.

Now I know the picture people have of a depressed person is somebody who can't motivate themselves and are completely miserable but that's not altogether true.

I am probably the bubbliest of all my friends. I laugh,I joke and have nothing at all to worry about or hate in my life but I am depressed.

My thoughts are different to what they whereabouts 4 months ago. I often feel like everybody would be better off without me and question if they actually even like me. I pick faults in myself and am filled with guilt and thoughts that I'm not being enough for my son and that the only thing stopping me from doing anything to myself is the fact that it would leave him devastated and that could leave him damaged.

I very rarely cry,I never get angry,I don't feel sad or happy. I'm just a empty,existing shell. 

Over the last few weeks my emotions have started to return a little and I have stopped questioning my thoughts and feelings and decided that each day,I will just accept I feel this way and get through it the best I can,in hope that one day I will wake up and be filled with a need to get my life back.

I live in hope,that's all I've got. People have been worse than me and got better so I'm hoping the strength I have,will pull me through xxx

I am wondering why you think your wife is better off without you.  Do you think you are a bad husband.  Don't you love her any more.  If you do then you would not want her to bear the burden of you taking your own life.  Imagine what that would do to her.  She would be left with a burden of guilt for the rest of her life.

You do sound as if you could be depressed, as I would think people with a healthy mental state would not consider suicide.  Please don't think there is a stigma to mental illness.  There are many, many people who have depressive illness.  I think deep down you feel that you may be depressed, but won't admit it to yourself.

Not easy to talk about how you are feeling, but I would urge you to discuss this with someone, poreferably a doctor.  If you feel you can mention it to the nurse when you go for your medical, then please do so.

Bottling up how you feel will make things worse.

I really feel you should talk to your wife too.  I know you say you don't want to bring up the subject again.  What was her reaction when you told her before? 

Are you sure everything else in your life is OK?  Is it just your marriage that is the problem?  Do you and your wife love each other?  Why do you want to leave her in this way.  If you think she is better off without you, then why not just leave her?  Why think taking your own life is the answer?

If you look at things logically, can't you see that this is an irrational step to take? 

Taking your own life is the most selfish thing you can do- i have experienced the devestation that this leaves behind- there are new anti- depressants that do not effect your libido- i am on one of them myself right now- you need to talk- talk to your wife- talk to a counsellor - talk to your DR- but be honest with yourself and those you are talking to- i am a recovering alcoholic and i have often contemplated suicide and thought that i was a burden to everybody and that they would be better off without me- a freind of mine commited suicide, another alcoholic- the pain and suffering he inflicted on his familly and freinds from beyond the grave carries on to this day- the guilt people feel- get the help you need- dont even allow yourself to wander into that train of thought- do it for yourself- you deserve better- do it for your  wife- your familly for whatever motivates you- reach out today and talk to somebody- even us- keep talking-

anne and pm' Iam happy with my wife but cant cope with work anymore. I cant tell her again, I upset her nearly a year ago and my insurance is invalid if i destroy myself,i feel so trapped.

She set me up with a medical but the nurse knows her and I dont know if I can trust the nurse,I will see....

I feel anxious not too sad,I feel I need to do things fast or something bad will happen,yes-I know I'm crazy and that is the thing to end,

I dont think its selfish,I never condemned my old forces friend and I will never blame him.

I need something other than alcohol and cigs,I know that ,and thanks..I hope you two are well also.,M.

pmc' well done mate for stopping alchol.

Mark , you aint crazy- we have all had periods of "madness" in our lives- it does not mean we are crazy- you really need to talk to a proffessional Mark - the nurse you refer to is bound by confidentiality - she wont speak about you to anyone- she will be able to advise you what services are available locally - get the help Mark - give it a go - 

I meant I have to do everything fast and rush around or I will fail at work, but I rush around a t home too like I cant stop. Never taken drugs ,it's just me .

i will let you know: )  I dont have long till I go to our new med' centre...

Hi Mark, you are depressed with those thoughts. 

Your wife may simply not understand, neither did mine but I got help and I recovered.

You need to speak to your GP or nurse and you can be 110% certain your wife will not be told, medical information of any sorts is strictly regulated.

if you get a diagnosis of depression and take the medication what is there for your wife to complain about! The bonus is that it's you feel better and your thoughts "normalise" you may even look at work differently or feel strong enough to change your work if that's what you want once you feel stronger. 

yes,aspian;I said to her I will go tonight (it's on Weds)  She didn't complain, just got upset that I want to leave her,to die I mean. That sounds horrible on here so I do realise why she was upset a few months ago-I had to tell her,to tell someone.

I think all the time I change jobs and nothing gets better,I cant stand life 'cos I cant calm down and it goes on at home although no one here gives me stress at home,it is like I am on speed. Never has drugs except tobacco/alcohol but that's how I feel. Worry a lot but dont know why,all I know is I feel stressed at work and when I get home I think awful things will happen,evryone wants what little money we have, there's bad things coming in the post.Yes, I'm going mad haha.

I feel she should not have me around but I only share a tiny ,tiny part of these worries with her,she should not have stress off me,I dont want to share and cause her worry,it is my problem.

But, she obviously knows I am changing from how I used to be (how can she not notice) but I said tonight I will go to my intrductory medical,at first I wanted to cancel but it is on the way home and I will go and see.......

Hi Mark, suicide is not the answer, it's selfish. My experience is that my husband threatened suicide many times until he finally did it. I was 29 and had two small children that i was left to bring up alone. I lost my home too. We live with the pain he left behind, it never goes away, we cope with it and it has inpacted on our lives to this day thou it happened many years ago. Your wife must feel dreadful you telling her you don't want to be here, how awful for her.There are other ways you can solve your situation, if you don't love her anymore you could split up. Have you any children? Have you thought how your extended family or friends woulld feel if you commited suicide. You say yo are not depressed so i don't understand your thinking. You can see the nurse at your practice has it is confidential, they cannot talk to anyone about why you are there or what you have said.Please think carefully about how you talk to your wife, talk sensible about your feelings and ask her how she feels.

Elizabeth.