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Suicidal thoughts, 45mg mirtazapine

Posted , 6 users are following.

pablopicasso
pablopicasso

3 years on mirtazapine and pregabalin. Have been very low for 6 weeks now. Really obsessing about suicide like I used to when on seroxat. My family try to help but I'm just fed up with being a cause of constant worry for them, particularly my mother who's had 25 years of it. My business is failing and I've been single for 10 years plus now. I basically have no hope left and feel empty. Have had years of CBT but always end up back here feeling like this. I just feel I am destined to kill myself and am just trying to find the courage to do it. I know what it will do to my family but my life is a never ending cycle of pain and I am so tired of it all that I can't even describe it.

1 like, 29 replies

29 Replies

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  • dave1948
    dave1948 pablopicasso

    Posted

    hi I no how you feel.I felt suicidal at one point but then thought about my family so I went back to the docs and told her how I felt.she changed my tablets I still get bad days.but something else stopped me my neice who I was very close to took her own life 3 years ago.and ive seen what its  done to her kids there grown up but they miss her so much.so please dont do anything like that god bless you 
  • sara80596
    sara80596 pablopicasso

    Posted

    I feel for you I really do. When those lows come they eat you up. Only you can tell the negative to f*** off. You have to dig deep, re-start, change the pattern, and keep pushing. Find a hobby do something new each week, no matter how small. Push the boundaries, push the negatives away. Only you can do this. Dont you think YOU deserve this. Chin up don't give up and try to switch those thoughts off I understand its hard but don't lose your fight. Join clubs fight for your life back. I am in the same boat, but there's gotta b a way out and not suicide. I recently with my husband, got an alotement made new circle of friends. I see it as a way to rebuild my foundations from within and learn not only how to grow a plant from a seed but in the preparation I am making, I re-a firm the foundation of me within. At present its working for me. You can find yours x

  • pablopicasso
    pablopicasso

    Posted

    The doctors won't change my meds as they think I'm safer as I am (?). I've made huge efforts to get a new place to live but that hasn't worked out so well; I'm just not sociable enough to share a house. My business was doing OK until I took on this new house which is typical of life. I've been digging deep for 20 years but you can only pick yourself up so many thousand times. They say get busy living or get busy dying so I'm at a crossroads. Thanks for replying which surprised me.
    • sara80596
      sara80596 pablopicasso

      Posted

      I hear you and feel your frustration. Why this happens I do not know, i too fear the next low. Because depression takes the confidence away we cut ourselves of, which doesn't help. Do you have children?

    • pablopicasso
      pablopicasso sara80596

      Posted

      No I've actively avoiding relationships (and particularly kids) as I regularly fall to pieces. It never seemed like a realistic prospect for me as my depression as ruined all my past relationships, but it makes for a lonely existence.
  • UK-Ven-medicate
    UK-Ven-medicate pablopicasso

    Posted

    What is it you do for a living ? Is it something anyone can help you with. I have just started as a self employed IT consultant, so happy to help where I can getting the word out for you ?
  • dave1948
    dave1948 pablopicasso

    Posted

    this site has helped me by just telling people how I feel so I think I can say we are all here for you.I know it can be so hard at times so please take care and keep writing
    • pablopicasso
      pablopicasso dave1948

      Posted

      It has helped me a little which is positive. I will be calling my doctor today as I need a bit more support at the moment, am really not coping very well at all.
  • UK-Ven-medicate
    UK-Ven-medicate pablopicasso

    Posted

    HAve you managed to talk to your doctor about your dose. There are a few people including myself that have had the same symptoms on this dose on Mirt.
    • pablopicasso
      pablopicasso UK-Ven-medicate

      Posted

      Still haven't been given an appointment yet. Interesting you say that as I did wonder if if was just me. My main worry is having time off work if they totally changed my meds as I was off for a month when I came off Seroxat. But if it sorts me out I'll just have to go with it I guess.
    • UK-Ven-medicate
      UK-Ven-medicate pablopicasso

      Posted

      If you have had suicidal thoughts you should talk to your GP about it . They should be either reducing the dose or looking to give you something to stabilise your mood
    • pablopicasso
      pablopicasso UK-Ven-medicate

      Posted

      I have told them how I'm feeling but no one seems too worried. I've been here before when I was younger. Until you actually make an attempt at suicidd they don't seem to consider you high risk. I'll get through it.
    • UK-Ven-medicate
      UK-Ven-medicate pablopicasso

      Posted

      Overstretched or not doesn't mean they can not care. Maybe raise with CQC? As a bare minimum they should have done a Medicine review.
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