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Suicidal thoughts, 45mg mirtazapine

Posted , 6 users are following.

pablopicasso
pablopicasso

3 years on mirtazapine and pregabalin. Have been very low for 6 weeks now. Really obsessing about suicide like I used to when on seroxat. My family try to help but I'm just fed up with being a cause of constant worry for them, particularly my mother who's had 25 years of it. My business is failing and I've been single for 10 years plus now. I basically have no hope left and feel empty. Have had years of CBT but always end up back here feeling like this. I just feel I am destined to kill myself and am just trying to find the courage to do it. I know what it will do to my family but my life is a never ending cycle of pain and I am so tired of it all that I can't even describe it.

1 like, 29 replies

29 Replies

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  • pablopicasso
    pablopicasso

    Posted

    Have finally got an appointment on Monday to see the mental health doctor for an assesment. Monday seems a long way off right no though (Thursday). I am barely getting by at work and crying a lot. I got really stressed/upset in front of a client yesterday and it was so embarrassing.
    • UK-Ven-medicate
      UK-Ven-medicate pablopicasso

      Posted

      right down may be some some things to achieve Friday, Saturday and Sunday as mini goals.

      Maybe do shopping or something on Saturday, reward yourself with say watching the TV. And when you do both spend time think what your doing not letting it stray . If it strays dont worry, the fact your trying will be a greta achievement and should focus you. Its daft how teh small things can be more noticeable when your down. Yet you just take thing like that as the norm and dont think about them. The world we live in is so fast, and thats one reason people are suffering.

    • pablopicasso
      pablopicasso UK-Ven-medicate

      Posted

      That's good advice, I definitely need a plan to get me safely to Monday. I am just so emotionally unstable I've genuinely scared myself lately, I haven't felt like this for years; it's awful really as I just feel like a different person. 
    • UK-Ven-medicate
      UK-Ven-medicate pablopicasso

      Posted

      You can change but i am guessing your like all of us on here we want to be well tommorrow and it doesnt work that way
  • pablopicasso
    pablopicasso

    Posted

    I finally saw a doctor, been prescribed Sertraline so cross tapering from Mirtazapine. Have felt awful but got some support now (nurse phoning me once a day and given the option of staying somewhere if I need to). Barely coping with work and really hating my job as it's very stressful. May have to think about a new career.
  • sara80596
    sara80596 pablopicasso

    Posted

    Hi Pablo - thats really good to hear - was thinking about you and wondering how you got on. What will the Sertraline do ?
  • London_ridge
    London_ridge pablopicasso

    Posted

    I see so many people who struggle at 45 mirt. It's way to high a dose. Doctors think oh, 30 not working go 45, that's not the way mirt works......talk to the doctor. I'm pretty sure if you go lower and I believe,you can add an SSRI you may get some,relief. You have an illness, you are not to blame and your family is aware of this. It's a difficult disease, but don't let it beat you. Kick its ass. Get to the doctor and get the meds straight. Good,luck❤️
  • pablopicasso
    pablopicasso

    Posted

    Sertraline should lift my mood once it kicks in. Still feel so bad I'm crying at work and can't cope with anything. I'vd never lost hood completely like this for 20 years. The doctor told me someone would phone me every day to see how I am but they haven't bothered. They really don't care despite saying they'll support you.
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