Suicide?

Posted , 9 users are following.

I know suicide is labelled as a 'permanent soloutions to a temporary problem' but i feel like it is the only way i am going to be at peace with myself. The last few years of my life have been hell and no matter what help/suppport/medication i get its just not looking up. I've had the overwhelming urge to harm myself lately but i dont want to get back into self harming to feel better. I feel like im being punished for something and no mattter how much i try to put it right or apoligise its just not good enough and i will never be forgiven. I cant bring myself to eat and sleeping is becoming a burden again. Talking to my parents is simply not an option and i dont have any friends since i dont have the confidence to be around people and dropped out of school. I dont want to hurt my family by leaving them but i need to do whats best for me, right?

Im pretty alone and scared right now and having someone to talk to that wont judge me for feeling like this would be a great help.

Thanks, T x

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  • Posted

    Hello T

    i am so sorry for what you are going through. Those thoughts are awful. I struggle with them too.

    i just wondered..are you on any meds at the moment?

    i want to say however bad things seem right now, they will get better but I imagine you are sick of hearing this.

    thinking of you.

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  • Posted

    I'm sorry to here that but I know what you mean. I have suffered with depression and anxiety on and off for many years and been suicidal. I have found that it does pass, I know it's hard to believe that right now as you think that you will always feel like that. Would be interesting to know what 

    medication you are on because in my experience some of them can make you feel worse

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  • Posted

    Oh, cd, please see your doctor and get some help.

    I, totally, understand how you are feeling as I have been there many times and still am.  I know, though that I don't have the courage to end it all.

    ask your doctor if you can try CBT because it works for a lot of people and I start it in June.  I need to change my way of thinking and it looks like you do too.  My cousin, who self-harmed and took overdoses had the therapy and it helped.

    I know it's hard to go out and join things to make friends but it's something you have to do.  No-one comess knocking on your door, I'm afraid.

    There is help out there but you must see your doc. and ask for it.

    Take care

     

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  • Posted

    Hello cdfvd, 

    I am going to be a radical ... How about ... No you don't have to always do what is right for you. Do you know always what is right for you? I think not, not if that includes hurting yourself. How about doing something that is just a good thing for someone else. If you are in need forgiveness, then this would be an act of atonement. I don't mean to say you have to be religious, as help for someone else can be a great help for yourself and help you to bust out of your den of dispair. You need to know that you are loved, and perhaps this will make you feel loved again. All the Best, David.

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  • Posted

    Why not phone The Samaritans or Breathing Space or take up voluntary work?  You would meet people there and also see people in a much worse situation than yourself.
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  • Posted

    David is so very right, it helped me! I build dolls houses and then give them away to children's hospices or charity shops or kids that I know from my area that do not have much and neither do their parents, gives me a feeling of self worth and that I achieved something smile

    i always feel feel better thinking that I have given rather than letting myself think that people are always taking away from me, can you maybe volunteer at a local YMCA or care home?

    Suicide isn't the answer, your a wonderful person with so much to give to the world, just remind yourself of that x

    im thinking of you

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  • Posted

    I have been there and understand how difficult it is to do anything when you are feeling like that. It does pass, but in the meantime try to do one simple thing each day - go for a walk round the block, try to notice the trees and flowers. Mindfulness can help - concentrate on your breathing, and each time a thought comes to you about how you are feeling, notice it briefly then take your attention back to your breathing. Be kind to yourself. You are not a horrible person, you just have a horrible illness. You will feel better in time.
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  • Posted

    Hi cdfvd41692

    i understand how your feeling and it is very hard to cope with but it does pass, it's just getting through it that is hard. When your like this you don't want to talk but talking is the best thing, when you just isolate you start thinking you are the only person that feels this way and that you will never feel better. That's why forums like this are good and I'm had you found the courage to come on here. I have found that when I have thoughts of suicide I think to myself well if I did take my life I will never be able to experience what it's going to feel like to be well. 

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    • Posted

      Awww, Michael, you WILL feel well.

      We just have to ride the big waves until we reach calmer shore.  Believe me, I have been through many a Tsunami.

      Earlier, I felt awful, but, after chatting a bit to online friends the mood has moved on a bit.

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    • Posted

      I'm going through a tsunami at the 

      moment, I'm tapering of my meds and it's really tough I'm get bad withdrawals and to make things worse my girlfriend is stranded in Malaysia, it's a long story but the bottom line is she is now living on the streets there and needs me to send her money I get home but I can't help as my been able to work for the last 5 months so am skint and have no way of ghelping her. This is all so hard to cope with. It's hard enough coping with depression and anxiety let alone having all this stress and worry on top of . I'm in pieces just don't know what the hell to do

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    • Posted

      Oh, that is hard.  I came off my pills in january far too quickly but followed doc. advice and not been great at all.

      Like you, I have more than one worry.

      Can she not go to the consolate for help or does she come from there?

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    • Posted

      Yes the doctors tell people to come of there meds to fast so I am doing at my own pace. My girlfriend did go to the British conciliate but they wouldn't help because she went there on business therefor she should of been properly advised about what has brought all this about. It was export tax on the goods she went there to buy and customs won't let her leave the country until it is payed. Also she was mugged on the streets so no has nothing to even buy food or find somewhere to stay so she is sleeping in shop doorways ect 
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    • Posted

      All very strange.

      I agree that she should have known about export tax.  I gather she works for herself then and not a company who will help her?  Surely the goods can be cancelled and friends help?  I can't see any innocent person being subjected to sleeping rough in a foreign country without help.

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