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Suicide. What are you meant to do?

Posted , 8 users are following.

Bird82
Bird82

When you're feeling like ending it all. What are you actually meant to do? When there is nobody you can really talk to and no one to help you, what are you meant to do? When you are haunted by failures and can see nothing positive in the future. When you are damaged from the inside out and your body is falling apart. When every new day offers a little less hope than the one before. When you feel like it's the end and you're not helping anyone anymore. You've failed, become a doormat with no respect for yourself. What are you actually meant to do?

1 like, 35 replies

35 Replies

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  • lorraine28330
    lorraine28330 Bird82

    Posted

    Thoughts of suicide can be fleeting, I know as I get them, I am very impulsive and if I attempted suicide every time they came I would be dead now. Please try and stay strong. I always think about the saying that suicide is a permenant solution to a temporary problem. Please try and call a professional for help, tell them exactly how you feel, that you are struggling to cope and get you need help now ! As for your sons they may be able to help with some respite or a carer that will just give you a couple of hours off to rest. Please stay safe.
    • Bird82
      Bird82 lorraine28330

      Posted

      You are absolutely right. It is so permanent and the thought of leaving my children questioning why their mother did such a thing is the one thing I hold on to. It's big enough to stop me, it's just sometimes I get so overwhelmed and anxiety ridden to the point of actual fully fledged fear that I can see no escape. When I'm like this, I don't think rationally but so far have managed to keep a percentage of my brain in reality. It is scary though. Thank you so much for your wise words and support. It's really helping me. I hope you are okay too.
  • lily65668
    lily65668 Bird82

    Posted

    Hi Bird, I think I've met you on other boards at this site. Aren't you the one who's coping with a pretty overwhelming domestic situation? (Don't want to say too much in case you don't want to share right here.) You should be getting formal support from medical and social services. I also have a feeling that I read in one of your posts that you don't discuss this with your doctor. I really think you should.
    • lily65668
      lily65668

      Posted

      Oops, Bird - I just re-read and now see that your description of your family situation was on this board! Please excuse memory lapse on the part of this increasingly ditzy old lady!rolleyes
    • Bird82
      Bird82 lily65668

      Posted

      It's okay. I have said a few things on other forums too so you may well have read something elsewhere! As far as social services are concerned, there not helpful at all. I flat out told them that I could not cope with looking after my cousin (with no financial support from anywhere I might add) but they told me I was not entitled to any help and that I should just carry on as I have been. On benefits, with three kids sharing one room. It's not a big deal and people have to cope with far worse I know. This is where my feelings of failure come in. I should be doing something to get us out of this but I feel useless. Completely.
    • lily65668
      lily65668 Bird82

      Posted

      Bird, it's not you that's useless and failing, it's the Social Services! What can you do if they're refusing to help you? And I know what they can be like. For the last couple of years of my mother's life she couldn't prepare a meal, put the kettle on, was doubly incontinent and couldn't find the toilet in her own house. And everyone - doctors, nurses, social workers - jumped through hoops to "prove" she didn't have dementia, so they didn't have to help her or me.

      Just a thought, but have you tried going on websites for parents of autistic kids? You might pick up some useful tips as to how to access more help. But I expect you've already thought of that.

      I'm sorry I can't give more advice about social services, as I haven't lived in the UK for 40 years - except on and off during my mother's dementia.

      Try and put your worries aside for tonight and get a good night's sleep.

  • TeresaJS
    TeresaJS Bird82

    Posted

    We've exchanged PMs and just found out Bird's got a GREAT SENSE OF HUMOUR lol! No kidding!
  • lorraine28330
    lorraine28330 Bird82

    Posted

    sometimes bird the smallest of things that keep you safe are all you need to hang on to. 

    I wish you you well and hope you manage to stay safe and show those children how strong their mum is

    x

  • Bird82
    Bird82

    Posted

    Thank you all so much for your support. Last night I was feeling horrendous. I don't exactly feel better but I at least feel like there are a bunch of people out there who understand what this feels like. It's not logical, it's not right but it happens. The isolation is what drives it I think, so talking to others is great therapy. So, in the same way you have helped me, I want to help you. So please please message me if anyone needs a mate. I'm a good listener and tend to see things a lot clearer when I'm thinking of others rather than myself. Peace y'all ✌🏾️😊
    • TeresaJS
      TeresaJS Bird82

      Posted

      You're most welcome: if we've contributed even if just a tiny bit for your welbeing we're happy. You'd be great in group therapy....
  • lisalisa67
    lisalisa67 Bird82

    Posted

    Suicide is not the answer. It cant be. We are humans but we have souls..we have to have souls aand are made up of energy.  No one knows the afterlife..there are some stories yes, but they vary. You are here for yourself to learn something, maybe its how to self love or one thing that your life has done has effected someone else in a powerful way. You think you are this one person but really you are part of the whole picture you just arent aware of it.imagine in five years from now you daved someones life and that person finds a cure for something. You dont know your role in this world as a whole.  Life is a challenge and its hard as hell at times nd in a perfect world people would care more and that love would be enough to brighten your day.  Everyone is so stressed out on all different levels but its there. Countries fight and hate each other for no real reasons anymore..sadly doctor arent respected as much as the internet countradicts much of what they even say. So no you have not failed. You are exactly who you need to be at this very moment. But so you know i understand what you are feeling. And it is a terrible sad feeling BUT you are needed in this world and you just need to accept that.
    • Bird82
      Bird82 lisalisa67

      Posted

      Thank you Lisa.

      I'm holding on to that as I'm facing the darkest times I think I've ever experienced. I don't ever want to leave my children alone in this world so I'm trying to forget everything else and use that as my sole focus. It's hard because I am being pulled in so many directions and I am miserable in our current living situation but despite all my efforts, I have been unable to change these things. But anyway, I will just accept it and get in with it like I always have.

      Thanks for taking the time to respond to me, I really appreciate it and I hope you are okay too.

      xxxx

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