Taking Fluoxetine from 20mg to 40mg

Day 34 (5 weeks) on 40mg - Well it's been a rollercoaster of emotions. I have had some good days and bad days. Sometimes I feel more myself then when the bad day hits me, it's hard to concentrate. I've noticed that my memory has gotten so bad. I've always been organised but the last few weeks have been awful. Also I notice when it's supposed to be time for my period is when my anxiety plays up the most.

I've accepted that my mind is tired and that I need to let go of the past, but I still don't feel like me 100% on a good day. I know I still have a way to go but not patient like I normally am. Also when I feel emotions I automatically think these emotions are bad. Cbt helps to turn that negative into a positive. It's just trying to do that when going through the motions.

I will say though that I don't feel as bad as I first did. I hope never to get that bad. I keep praying to god that I will get stronger each day and get better.

I have faith that this will happen. I hope everyone is doing better.

God bless x

Day 39 (6 weeks) on 40 mg - I have started to feel much better again. Sleeping more than 7 hours and eating well. Still have a few headaches but it's getting there. I get a few negative anxiety feelings now and then but I can get passed it. I've had a few strange dreams but it wasn't awful.

I decorated the living room so that also helped me. I did struggle a little but with the music on and family around me, it was fun.

I still am finding it a little tough with certain tasks and can feel a little overwhelmed. One step at a time I tell myself. It's finding the motivation, but once I'm there it's much better. You know after going through all this, it really does make me feel more grateful for my family and friends. Also how to remember the good times and not lose hope.

Hope you guys are feeling better. Good bless x

Day 41 on 40 mg - had a couple of good days and didn't think of my anxiety or really feel it at all. Then this morning I woke up with a really bad fever and cold, and anxiety comes back. Burning back, feeling confused and mixed emotions.

I have this feeling in my stomach and I can't describe what I'm feeling. The anxiety makes me want to feel negative and awful but I'm battling with it. I know because I'm unwel it has made the anxiety come back and feel worse.

Hopefully things will calm down soon. I would like to eventually feel back to myself again. Loving life and laughing from the heart. No negative thoughts or anxiety would be wonderful but I am still grateful for the days that are good or not so bad.

God bless x

54 days on 40 mg (6 weeks) - it feels like it's been ages but looking at it in weeks shows that it's still early days. I've had days then just before period due bam here comes the anxiety. Not as bad but still there and I also now and then get that feeling in my tummy of sadness. Can't describe it exactly. Memory is still not great but getting there. I am eating better and able to take my meds without being sick. No make shaking or headaches yay. Just would like my period to actually come now. I get the symptoms but no period for more than 3 months now. Not pregnant as this was checked to be sure. I will say though that I feel truly blessed to have a great family as I know there are people that don't have that. I remember feeling so lonely and the room could be full of people, it's the anxiety and depression that make us feel that way. I could be having a nice conversation then bam anxiety hits then I start to feel so awkward, I tell myself nope not going to let you ruin my good time and eventually it goes. Strange that it happens but I decided to accept and move on. What was holding me back was trying to find answers that doesn't exist. It just happens. I am having money issues because I can't work but I am not letting this get to me as I know there are people in this situation or worst. I just thank god each day for family, friends and life. So looking at this journey so far it's been 2 months on 20 mg then 6 weeks on 40 mg. So 3.5 months into it, which actually isn't along time and I have improved. I remind myself of how far I've come compared to what I was like when this journey started. I start one to one councelling in 2 weeks so this will hopefully help me. I know I have anger from the past deep down that I try to forget but can't. I hope and pray that things get better and have faith that it will. I hope you guys are doing better. Prayers to you all. God bless x

Day 65 ( week 10 ) on 40 mg - Its been a little better on most days apart from the week when my period is due, then it gets harder to manage. However even on that week it's getting slightly better and anxiety doesn't last as long. I had my first councelling session and it was emotional and draining but good. It made me realising so many things that I thought I had got past only to realise that I'm still upset about it or worried. I worry so much about the past even though it's been and gone. I always did things to make others happy but forgot along the way about myself. I strive for perfection when I worked and was so hard on myself but when someone else made a mistake I would make them feel better and say mistakes help us to learn. I should have listened to my own advice. We make choices in life and learn from those choices that have been made. I need to stop trying to find answers to everything and worrying about things that agave past or things that I cannot control. Anxiety makes me feel that I'm not a good person even though I've not hurt anyone. Depression makes me feel that I am so low that I have no energy or will to combat what the Anxiety is making me feel. It's a viscous circle. I know I'm a good person but it's having the strength within to combat the anxiety in the mind that is hard. Especially when you feel low. I am getting there and I know it will take time but one step at a time. I need to remind myself of that as I get impatient as I want to be better now. This is an illness and will take time for me to heal. I keep hope and pray things will continue to get better. Not going to lose faith. Hope you all are on the road to recovery. God bless x