Tearing during sex.

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Hi I've had this problem for nearly 9 years now. I've been to many different doctors, and I still don't have an answer.

Basically every single time I have sex, that's even if I can have sex, I tear in my vaginal opening. Mainly the bottom part.

It can happen in foreplay, or trying to have sex.

I always make sure I'm lubed up, always go slow, try to be relaxed as possible, and stop when it gets sore. It just seems to tear almost straight away, over the tiniest bit of pressure. Then sometimes it burns when I wee afterwards, as the tears can be quite deep.

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 7 years, we've both been tested for STDs, I don't have thrush, and the doctors don't seem to be much help.

Even though we can't have sex, we are still sexually active, and have a happy healthy relationship, but as you can imagine not being able to have sex can be frustrating.

I have Different sized dildos to graduate slowly, and still this doesn't help.

So please if anyone knows why this is happening, it would be very very helpful.

I've been through all the obvious things, so maybe something more unusual/not very common is going on?

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  • Posted

    it sounds like you have thinning of the perenieum which is then tearing, i dont know too much about it personally but from what I have read online it is quite common, the only advice everyone seems to have is to have a lot of foreplay beforehand and try positions that you can control such as you on top, but try out different ones to see what works. They also mentioned a cream called estrace which numbs the area and helps with healing. I have also read that the pill if you are on it may be the cause of these issues, it would be something to look into. 
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    • Posted

      Estrace does not numb the area.  It increases the healthiness of the tissue helping to heal broken skin.  The healing reduces the pain.  Sex can then become pleasurable again due to health.
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  • Posted

    Question... Herpes tests are not included in full STD panels, so have you specifically asked for a herpes test?
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  • Posted

    As women get older particularly after menopause, they lose estrogen which causes thinning of the vaginal walls, dryness, and the mucuous membranes even begin to split with what feel like paper cuts. Painful. Sex can become out of the question unless treated with an estrogen based cream or suppository. This is not an oral pill thus the estrogen doesn't go throughout the entire body. Perhaps Doc can test your hormone levels to see what's going on.  If estrogen is low then this is the usual remedy to make the skin there healthy and decrease risk of infections through broken skin.  If you are younger this is still worth a check to see if you have hormonal issues and to help determine the cause of any irregularity.
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  • Posted

    Hi - I have the exact issue. I was wondering if you found anything that has successfully mitigated, prevented or treated your symptoms. Thank you!
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  • Posted

    I have the same problem. I heavily bleed and tear the bottom part of my vaginal opening every time during sex. I just turned 19 last week so I'm still young. I always thought it was only a first time thing but it happens every time. I give myself a week or two to heal but it always happens. I don't know why. I haven't been to a doctors office since I left my pediatrician because I turned 18 so I don't have a doctor to go to and I'm really personal about doctors and getting checked down there. I don't know what to do.

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    • Posted

      Hey,

      I'm only 24 and have been investigating for the past 6 years. I'm currently seeing a doctor (whose been the most helpful) who has be starting a combination of oestrogen and testosterone cream and just done tests in my hormone levels (highly recommend getting this done) and also the possibility of it being a gluten intolerance/coeliac disease as well. I'll keep you updated if I find anything that works! I've just started the cream and get the gluten tests in 6 weeks.

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    • Posted

      I also have the same problem. I'm 19 and the problem started when I started birth control. I tried going off birth control, waiting 2 months to have sex, and using estrace but nothing is working. My gynecologist doesn't know whats wrong. I realize you posted a year ago, has your issue been fixed?  

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    • Posted

      Hey!!! This just popped up on my email! Yes i fixed my issue. I seen so many drs this past year and finally had to go afew states over to a specialist is Salt Lake City Utah. Anyway he said i have a skin condition on my lady parts so a normal gyno wouldnt have been able to help. Its (spelling might be off) Lichen Planus... aka eczema woth a tinny bit of lichen scloerous ( just scarring where the skin last its elasticity) now i fidnt have to do anything weird like all the crazies on google say to do! I was just given a steroid cream (mild form of clabatosol with out lanolin due to alergies) :P it worked! No rips or splits with sex now! Its been quite afew months since i found the help! It worked well and yeah my lady parts feel and look great! Haha tmi!!!! But after googling those diseases i thought for sure i was a freak and would have problems forever down there. So,

      Dont google those diseases please! they are so dumb and negative on google! Just find the right doctor. Dermatologists are good at helping with it too!

      Im still getting the emails so feel free to ask for help if you need anything else. smile

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    • Posted

      I have had this problem for 15 years, I went to tons of dr’s, received tons of treatments. Nothing has worked! Can I please have the Dr’s name you used please? I’m willing to travel to see a Dr and get this fixed.

      Thank you! I’m so glad you got that fixed.

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    • Posted

      I'm so grateful to you I'm crying right now. I can have sex now and enjoy it. The itching is gone. I can wash myself without tearing and bleeding. My gynecologist had no clue what my problem was even though she knows I'm type I diabetic and auto-immune diseases is a known correlative. Get this: I also have Turner Syndrome, which means my estrogen levels are a bit lower than normal, which is also a risk for this. But it never occurred to her. Thank you. Thank you so much!!!!

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