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Hi, anyone have any personal mantras, hints or tips (or positive vibes) for when the desire to drink is just sudden and overwhelming?... I've been sober a couple of months now and I think maybe I've reached the end of the honeymoon phase. I've had a terrible day at work, to top off an awful week - and I just can't stop thinking 'I know alcohol will not take the problem away but right here right now a bottle of wine will help me escape this feeling for just an hour or two, which is better than nothing'. I'm trying to remind myself that; 1) Sobriety has been like a pearl I've been cultivating recently, enjoying it and feeling proud about it - if I chuck it away all for one drink I might not get it back, and that will just make everything feel worse in the long run. 2) The voice which is telling me to drink is representing a skewed reality, in a sense it's the voice of the addiction that was harming me, now it's trying to call me back. One drink (or four) will de-stress me tonight but in the long run it will represent a victory for my anxiety and stress, won't it? I'm posting on here because I really don't have anyone else to turn to in moments like this (but even writing the reasons down here is helping to stengthen my resolve).

1 like, 27 replies

27 Replies

  • Posted

    there is no easy answer peter, i wish there was- this is what seperates those that make it from those that dont - have you got anyone you can reach out to for suppoet, always better if you have someone you trust to talk about these feeelings, have you considerd going to AA- or an addiction counsellor- remember whatever problem/stress you are hoping to bury with alcohol- its still going to be there amd may even appear worse after you have drank as your emotions are going to be scrambled- remember the guilt you felt the last time you did something stupid while drinking (this worked for me for years) at the end of the day its a simple choice-how badly do you want to stay sober-what are you prepared to do to achieve this aim???? stay strong - reach out for help-very few of us make it on our own-
  • Posted

    Congratulations on your sobriety! Sounds as though you have done incredibly well so far and remember how much better your life has become now you are sober. Delay tactics sometimes help me. Allowing yourself to 'have a drink' if things really became unbearable may help you focus more on how you are feeling right now, and realise it is not bad enough to take the drink. If you get what I mean?!
  • Posted

    Peter, as someone like yourself who always gives in and haves that little sip which leads to a good half a bottle I urge you to stay strong. You'll feel so satisfied with yourself in the morning, which unfortunately I won't.
  • Posted

    What I meant before was realise the 'urge' for what it is. It will pass eventually as they have before. Even though it doesn't feel like it right now it will pass and you will still be in the right track of sobriety.
  • Posted

    Thanks for the good vibes. I'm pretty sure I won't drink. These comments have helped me. I'm wanting to feel that pride in myself tomorrow morning - I'll just focus on that as much as I can. I do need to think about finding a support buddy to talk to at times like these, too. (I'm really not sure about AA...)

    Also I think I can see that if I always react to problems (work related problems that arise due to external factors) by drinking and setting myself down a route of sadness/regret/guilt etc, then the bigger picture is that it's no wonder I end up feeling helpless, that external circumstances control me, and that I am a powerless individual. Time to enjoy taking back some control over how I choose to live my life...

    • Posted

      That is exactly why I drink, but it has taken losing my job to realise how bad my problem is. I thought I was 'functioning' but obviously not. Have you tried medication to help with cravings? I'm now starting selincro. Just hoping it helps me finally beat this......
  • Posted

    i like your attitude-AA is an option, not a requirement as they would have you believe, many people never drink again without going near AA- so dont believe the "message" that its there way or no way-it works for alot of people, and good for them- but for others it is not the solution- everybody must find there own path- find what works for you and stick with that- best of luck

     ps- i have been sober since 2005- with the help of an addiction counsellor, who saved my life- this was my path to recovery-

  • Posted

    HI Peter. Hard to keep sober after a tough week but DO TRY. Ideally, you should not give in and start again since it is never just one glass. I you wake up tomorrow sober and kept on the right path you should celebrate by treating yourself and oid something you do not do...perhaps something expensive and true treat but not a 21 year old scotch..joke...do know that people here will try and give you good advice and not mis judge..i do hope you will cope. all the best to you!
  • Posted

     Hi Peter.

    I have been soberish for 3 years. I stayed totally tee total for 18 months and felt great and then after a particularly bad medical examination I succumbed to the drink. It was a disaster. I really, really thought that a couple of glasses of wine would relax me. But no. 2 days later I was back to wanting more and more and more....

    i thought that because I had gone 18 months I would be able to drink like a "normal" person! NO WAY. I can't do it. If I take one drink. I want more. 

    I always have this feeling that I love and crave a big long cold glass of white wine. It will alleviate all my problems. It will relax me. It will chill me out. I will feel all warm and cosy. And have that lovely, happy, chilled glow. Do you recognise the feeling?

    BUT, it doesn't and can't stop there. Not if you have an inclination to alcohol like I do. I can't stop at that lovely feeling. I think that the lovely cosy warm feeling will get better. But it doesn't. 

    The lovely cosy feeling last for that first drink. And then it all goes downhill. I'm sure I don't need to tell you how or why. It just does. And then all that follows is guilt, self hatred, loathing and sometimes at its worst suicidal thoughts. Sorry to be harsh but it's true. Alcohol to an excess is a depressant. 

    BUT I too have had a hard

    hard week. And I too am on my2nd bottle of wine. It doesn't happen very often. Probably once a month. I might carry on Tomoz. I might not. I hope not. I don't want to. But the drink grabs hold of you and it doesn't let go. If you have the strength to abstain please do. You can feel smug Tomoz. I will feel like a failure.

    With regards to AA - please don't write it off as an option. When I finally admitted I had a serious problem, 3years ago,and nearly died, I went to AA for about 5 months.  I went 5 or 6 days a week and it really really helped. I had this preconceived idea that it would be full of low lifes (sorry) but it wasn't. There were teachers, lawyers, doctors, accountants and yes a few street people (sorry). It was amazing. It helped enormously to enable me to realise i wasn't alone. It enabled me to keep off the booze. BUT talking about alcohol 6 nights a week, didn't work for me. Hearing every bodies stories about the things they had done under the influence sometimes made me laugh, cry and goddam sob. But all it did was reinforce my thoughts of alcohol. I needed to distance myself from it. Plus I didn't get the God stuff! Sorry, but if I was saved it was down to the people who saved me, not God.

    I'll carry on in a min -need a wee!


    • Posted

      HI Liz. Wov! What a story. IF you nearly died how come you can control drinking once a month? Sorry be so direct but I am astounded and how can you control this? This is totally unique and unheard for anybody only to drink once a month and then stop for 29 days. Just wondering...pls keep givin us news since we care for you on this message board and people are very honest.
  • Posted

    Anyway, where was I?

    sometimes I think that after a hard 5 day week, I "deserve" a drink. This doesn't happen very often. Usually once a month these days. It never happened when I was going toAA so maybe that's the solution. But I found that when I went to AA! Even though I was wanting to stop drinking (and I did) all I ever thought about was alcohol. Listening to other people's stories, and most of the time they put a humorous spin on it, I thought well"actually I'm not that bad". So I'd think hey ho have a drink, you're not thtat bad! But what a load of bollocks!

    You would not believe the stupid things I have done under the influence of alcohol. Things that I would never, ever,ever, think about when I am sober.

    i will tell you the things I have done in a moment but please remember I am an extremely intelligent person (I am not just saying this, I am recognised in the UK). That sounds really big headed. But I really really don't mean to be. Ok I am intelligent but I am also an alcoholic. How bad is that?

  • Posted

    I know that you didn't ask for people's history. But if you want to be scared then I am not going down the alcoholic grip. Here are few things that I did when under the influence of drink. 
  • Posted

    HI TO PETER AND TO LIZ.. please, please NEVER EVER feel that you have failed... I was sectioned four times into a mental health clinic ..( it literally saved my life, also families lives ) I was a. Hopeless alcoholic for ten years, I had drink hidden in places that you cannot ( and do not want to imagine ).. on my fourth section I managed to stop, that was twelve years ago.... I have to say. That THE ONLY WAY I GOT THROUGH IT.. was because I ALWAYS thought... if I really, really, really !!! Wanted a drink, I could have one !! It would NOT BE THE END OF THE WORLD, I WOULD JUST BE SOBER TOMORROW... it has worked very well for me,, I cut out the guilt part, and it made life so, south easier.... I now have a couple of drinks, once a week, a.d enjoy it, and stop very easily the next day...

    I really think that we need to change our mindset on our attitude to alcohol, we slip,.... we start again and again and again.... we are NOT BAD PEOPLE .. we just need a little understanding. To all of us out there, I never, never, never ever, thought that I would wake up sober every day... twelve years later I do ... you can too, huge, huge, huge hugs to others in this situation.... every, and I mean every person who tweets on here, can lend thsome eir great support to those who wake every month, hoping.

  • Posted

    My fiancée has restricted my acces. Sorry. Can't reply. I want to. But he won't let me. 
  • Posted

    Stay determined and jeep reminding yourself of the negatives that alcohol has brought to your life. If you really are struggling at times, it is likely to be due to craving. There is a drug called Acamprosate which helps with cravings. It is worth asking your GP if you can have it prescribed for you. Google 'acamprosate' and you will find lots of information about it.

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