Terrible anxiety for the last 3 days

Hi Jay 

I am 41 and in peri from the beginning of the year, but i think a lot longer. my periods were always regular but for the last 5 years they became very heavy with lots of clots and then a lot of days with spotting. now for 2 monthes it was heavy for 1 day with clots and then spotting. This month it was not heavy at all with no clots but the spotting is still there.

i did post a while back about intrusive thoughts, that i dont love my husband, i did a bid of reading and they say if the intrusive thoughts causes anxiety the opposite is true but i still can not get rid of this anxiety. 

Hi Nonnie

i think some women do feel like this sometimes towards their partners in peri, it is like we resent them and the ' its alright for you thing' 

we have alot to accept and deal with .. i had abit if this and even had my own room for a while while i sorted my head and feelings out..

this was a few years ago now... and i also felt unsure about my partner, but on reflection i loved him too, it was the fact i think, they didnt understand how one day you felt great and another felt terrible, and didnt even want to reassure you either as they didnt have a clue..

i think in my case i needed peace with in myself, needed my own space at night, my restful santuary, no disturbances from snorers and moaning gits when you cant sleep and need the loo etc ..

all good now though .. those feelings have passed now  ..

maybe you need to be told how much your loved and appreciated more often by your other half and a cuddle and hug always helps, and also sharing your exoerience with your partner along the way, so they understand, its that if you dont tell, they dont know thing too, and they assume all is good but your behaviour towards them isnt ..

jay xx

he knows about the thoughts and he know that it is peri hormons and we both know that i love him very much. somebody told me it is the thought of losing him that is affecting me so much.  we lost our youngest daughter at 3 monthes due to a long virus 10 years ago in march and i lost my mother 2 years ago also in march around the same day. i dont know if it could have something to do with it.

Hi Nonnie

oh bless you ... you have had alot to deal with... no one will fully understand that, unless they have been through it like you have ...

i am sure you love him dearly.... you have alot more going on than peri hun, 

life can be so hard at times... you must be strong and enjoy life and think your beautiful daughter and your mother would want you to be happy.

think you have answered your own question here, you get anxiety from peri and other personsal  losses too...  try and be happy and love each other ... and be at ease .... enjoy what you have ... a hug every now and again always comforting .... 

this may sound so stupid... but sometimes when i feel loss for a person whos passed, i always light a comforting candle at night while i sit in living room, i tell myself that when the candles lit,  it is lit with love for the them and its our time to be together again..... 

big hug to you ..

jay jay xxx

thank you jay i will do that and no it doesn't sound stupid. it is just strange that everything started aroud that time.

Strange thing to say I know but your daughter  has found her grandmother and is being cared for by her.

Loss breads fear of loss so yes it can be a vicious circle of emotion we find ourselves in, but your husband/partner understands and loves you very much.

 

Hi Taz,

That was really lovely of you to say this to Nonnie I am sure she will find comfort in your lovely words!.

I miss my Dad loads and lost him in 1995 and wish he was still with me to give me my fatherly hugs as he was always kind and loving to me! My Mum is a very cold lady and doesnt do the huggy Mum bit or listening, only moans and is always so negative about everyone / thing so i have stayed away rather than her make my anxiety worst! (and to be honest it has helped loads). I have a couple of black birds that sit outside my back door and I think its my Dad and my very old dog looking over me and making sure that I am ok.  I also lost my other dog a short while prior to starting this peri thing and I now have a dove sat over her grave!! I go over and talk to her and tell her how much I miss her too!!

Take care Taz and have a wonderful day!,

Joyxx

JJ you are sn amazing person. You have helped sooooo many people here.  You need a medal of greatness!   

Hi Joy

oh thats so lovely .... Blackbirds and Dove story ... i am just the same ...

it gives a mystical and warm feeling ...

if it comforts you then why not ... and it is comforting ... 

what time is dinner 😃

jay xx

 

Hi Dottie

hahahahaha medal of greatness ..thats funny...

it made me smile as for a joke i say to my son, ' well i cant sit here being this fantastic all day ' i must get things done..

we do laugh ...

jay xx

This may sound strange but when I was first riding a motorbike I nearly lost control. suddenly I felt hands over mine showing them what to do, I swear to this day it was my father an experienced motorcyclist, who by that time had been deceased about 8yrs.

Yes they do send creatures to remind us of them. I know of one lady who kept finding feathers lying around in the most unexpected places, her late husband was keen on garden birds and they always appeared when she needed comfort or faced a dilema.

There is a poem that speaks of waving to a departing ship and watching it sail over the horizon, feeling that is it but forgetting that there is another port where it's arrival is anticipated and where it is still as it ever was.

Having done what I've done imagination and flights of fancy are luxeries that cannot be afforded. See what I've seen enough and you begin to say more than we will ever know about

i have a dove coming in to my kitchen and saying hallo to me all the time and she doesn't fly away so i think that is my daughter saying hallo to me. the other day there were 2 of them in the kitchen.  

and yes thanks you taz for your kind words it does help alot.

marlene i would like some of your quiche, you can post it to me.

thank you to all the ladies who chatted with me today, i really feel better 

sure she is  and would feel two is your mum getting in on the act as well

Once I stop talking on this forum!! I have just gone and put the oven on to warm up (SO THATS A START - NOTHING IN IT YET THOUGH) but enjoying myself talking to you lovely ladies rather than getting on with our vat returns!!

I guess no females will be working for the vat office as if they would be a little more understanding if I miss the dead line! Just imagine phoning them up in the morning say sorry for the short delay but lost concentration as I am peri and had more fun chatting to a load of lovely peri ladies!! Some how I doubt if I would get away with that phone call!!

Joy xxx

Hi Taz

yes i heard feather stories before ..

i have a guardian angel ornament near my swimming pool ... Always have ..

just a comfort incase i am in trouble .. ' shes cant save me but it comforts me'

when i was  aged 16 i did drown, stupid lads from school, just picked me up and leg and winged me in a pool and pushed my head under ..and i went... and another lad i knew apparently pulled me up, and i rememeber pain of water coming out my lungs, it put me off pools for years, i could seim but it was a nasty thing to do, lads fun, but not funny, . But now i am sort of over it, i wont go to public pools as the fear floods back .. 

I owe my life to Andrew .. In fact a few years ago when I returned to my home town  ( he has a car mechanic garage) i made a point of going to see him again, we talked about it and I gave him a hug and thanked him again.

as for motorbikes and scooters... I had a scooter and came off and it landed on top of me .. Well trapped my legs ... All was okay just felt a prat..

so I stick to driving just the car now hahahaha 

jay xx

 

Hi Nonnie

good good ... We wanted you to feel better and comforted ..

jay xx

Hi Joy

hahahahahahahaha  thats so funny ..

jay xx

just wait i think the men will also start talking about peri soon there were an article that men also go through menopause because of there hormones dropping especially testosterone. maby then they will understand

It was really strange as when my Dad passed away I went to see a very special lady who told me that a black bird would watch over me (this was shortly after loosing my Dad) and a few months later I lost my wonderful dog Lady. This is where I think it has a true meaning as I then had two black birds in my old garden, one of them was eating a crumb of an old dog biscuit right outside my back door!! Very comforting to know and to this day even though I have now moved these two black birds still sit outside my back door.

Only two years ago I lost my other dog Daisy and this is where I feel again it has a true meaning was this Dove sits over her grave and often flies over our barn which we are living in during our renovations. We found a Doves nest in what I call our "Man cave" and had loads of little babies! I know that Daisy is also looking over me aswell and its so warming to know that they are all close by!

Joyxx

 

Tie them too it, push them in the pool then tell 'em to swim with her as she wants to with them Hee Hee

So glad hang onto what you can people, it is all there to comfort us and let us know we are not alone even when we feel we are

 

Hi Taz

yes this is true.. I have read about it and a man said to me only a few months ago he had menopause when i was having a hot moment that i always share hahahahaha

 I said to him cant be that bad for you .... Not stop you downing the beer ..

mind you he is an odd ball .... 

jay xx 

If i could I'd give you some quiche,pop on down Nonnie,doors open.xxx

We all need a helping hand in life,women look after women no better treatment ever.Takes you away from it laughing and just a women's good old chat is all it takes to lift you back up,feels like were all sat in one room.

 Glad your feeling better ,xxx

Hi Marlene,

I agree with you all you sometimes need is a good old girly chat!!

Still no closer to getting my vat done but I have a lovely time chatting to you all aswell and hopefully Nonnie spirits will certainly have been lifted with all of our banter!!

Have a lovely evening!

Joy

xx

 

Jayneejay ... You are such a sweet, compassionate , caring women!! You simply amaze me

Beth

Hi Beth

hahahahahaha thank you.. I am not always .... I have my moments ..

especially with idiots .... 😃

jay xx

 

Hi Beth

hope your okay and had a a nice weekend ..

Jay xx

So far it's good, but Tuesday will be here when I'm doing the sono and ultra sound . I'm scard to see what they find out. I could use some encouraging words from you. You always make me feel better. I hope your doing ok!! Think of you often. Isn't it funny how we've never met and I haven't been on this site for very long , but you are just sooo comforting not just me but everyone. You have a gift Jayneejay !!! 

Beth 

I totally understand that

Beth

Hi Beth

when did you last have an ultra sound ?

jay xx

Arr thank you 

i am doing just fine Beth..

been abit lazy today ... Could of done more chores .. But had abit of a relaxing day..

i will catch up tomorrow...  My ironing is shouting my name .. 😊

jay xx

 

Hi Beth

sent you a private message 😑

its my bed time now ...  

Jay jay xx 

Last February. That's when the doctor wanted to do the D&C. But I went into a deep depression. Did not get out of bed. I guess I just couldn't deal with it at that time trying to deal with to much !! 

Thank you for you encouraging  words. Good night Jayneejay talk to you later

hi again

i private messages you again

hey .. Never worry about a D&C i had one years ago and i came home later that day, felt fine ..

and made some pancakes 😑

don't worry 

jay xx

Hey Jay,   D and C stands for a dust and clean!  Piece of cake.  

Hi Dottie

yes thats right...

😬😬😬😬😬😬😬

hope your okay 😑

jay jay xx

Hey Dottie only you could find another D and C combo,what are we going to do with you?give us a giggle at what your going to come out with next.

   You okay today ,or still on your Jet Ski heading towards Spain.? xxxx

Jet Ski or Peddallo?

Yea can picture Dottie on a pedalo,won't get to Spain for another decade,on one of them,Jay be well out of meno by time Dottie arrives.xx

😃😃😃😃

I think Dottie has her own cruise liner ... 

' The Lady Dottie' .... 

Jay xx

Sans pool et deck recliner

That's exactly what I said about Jay  unbelievably kind and compassionate....

About Jayneejay .... She is amazing!! Thousand and thousand miles away from me and she calms me down!! I have seen a therapist and Jayneejay makes me feel better than her!! she is a dear in my heart 

Oh Beth and Toddpodd

thank you ladies ... 😃

' i am a dragon really ' hahahahaha

jay xx

portable barbecue

Hi Taz 

now your on the ball... i had to think about that one..

then the penny dropped .... 

hahahaha

got me fik ead on 

jay xx

Me too!  Now when I get an episode of palpitations dizziness anxiety attack etc I don't worry as much..she is so much more comforting than my GP 😊

No..... Your awesome

She is very comforting  I want everyone on this forum to know no matter where your from she is the " go to" person. Simply amazing