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Terrified

Posted , 17 users are following.

ibiza1977
ibiza1977

I cant fo on. Ive lived like a hermit under my duvet for nearly a year. Im a skinny disgusting mess because im so petrified of my palps. Ive had an exh n other tests and at the time they alwyas seem to srop. My gps surgery make me see a different doctor every time and the cardio says therees no cure live with ut as we dont know if tour palps are from afib or not until we catch them. Im angry and smash things and cry all day. I was a karate chempion and rider vut my life has fone at 40. I am waiting to die and have my funural weitten down. I have nothing now. I have not bothered telling my gp i feel like this as im refusing to see any of them. They gave me bisoprolol and already reading the next parients notes. Sorry to sound angry but i could scream and think if youre foing to kill me do it now instead of me auffering lime tgis. Like a sying rabbit on a road . Im so so sad and have no life and a gp told me yesterday. Will alwyas get them and they will get worse and worse. Imagine how im feeling now. I feel suicidal but only want to feel that way as i cant live like this anymore if that makes sense.. Help me xxxxxx

0 likes, 34 replies

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  • ibiza1977
    ibiza1977

    Posted

    Sorry for typos but im crying so hard xx
    • donald85642
      donald85642 ibiza1977

      Posted

      Stop worrying! I have had similar problems to yours since I was 61yrs old. I am now 75 and feel reasonably good even with permanent irregular heart beat (Afib). My son is a GP and he tells me that there is no difference in how long you live with or without Afib. I take a blood thinner and Bisoprolol, don't drink or smoke and eat plenty of fruit ang veg. and walk a few minutes each day with the dog. I repeat...stop worrying!

      Don

  • katers
    katers ibiza1977

    Posted

    AFib is not the end of the road! There are thousands of us in the same situation as yourself. I am sorry if I sound harsh, but you really must get a grip on all this. There are plenty of adults and children with far far worse conditions than ours, I know as I work alongside many young folk with profound and multiple and physical difficulties.

    our hearts may be a little out of sync but at least we are alive!

    please dont go down the road of self pity, chin up and get on with life as we have to do! Taking meds isn't easy or nice but if they help us survive, then that is good stuff my friend.

    i wish you well and send you loving hugs, but come on ......love life to the full and create your future with positivity xx

  • judith85360
    judith85360 ibiza1977

    Posted

    Palpitations will not kill you and there are lots of thhoping so you can do that helps. There are communities on Facebook that support each other to. Be stronger and to live.. Search for atrial fibrillation and/or SVT. Good luck and be strong.
  • andrew95119
    andrew95119 ibiza1977

    Posted

    I have had both palps and AFIB and there is a huge difference   AFIB commonly feels like you've got an eel squirming in your chest for sustained period while palps can be anything from a premature beat then a pause to few erratic beats in succession.  I know its easier said than done but you need to mentally put palps into the same catategory as as a nervous tic like when you eyelid does somethin funny on its own or a spot on your body quivers seemingly on its own.  You wouldn't get too concerned about that.  Just your nervous system misfiring.  Completely harmless.  Afib is the same in a way but just a little more extreme and uncomfortable but in itself just as harmless if you are  healthy.  Just need to undrstand the stroke risks which are also minimal if your under medical supervision.   So it is really more of a mental issue like being irrationally afraid of flying. As a Karate expert you know you have the strength of mind to overcome many physical and mental obstacles!
    • anxietysite123
      anxietysite123 andrew95119

      Posted

      Andrew would you mind if I messaged you? I have a question about palps that hopefully you can help with
  • marco
    marco ibiza1977

    Posted

    Sounds like you have paroxysmal af which means it comes and goes and heart can appear normal when you don't have af.. Big mistake not seeing your GP as he/she can help with medication or referral for ablation.. It might take a while to find the right one(s) so keep going back until you find it. Took me 10 years to find out it was bp meds causing my af problems and then found that bisoprolol was best I've tried.
  • deanna82033
    deanna82033 ibiza1977

    Posted

    You are important. Your health is important. There are caring professionals out there who will help you figure out your next step. You will be okay. You are not alone. To feel panic is normal. Start reading and researching and find out what meds or procedural options are right for you. You might have to try several different meds to see what works best. When it starts it is scarry, but this is something you can live with. Meds can help calm your heart down and reduce stroke risk. Reach out to friends, family and community. Do not continue to suffer by yourself. You still have a good life ahead. Be kind to yourself and get the information you need to move forward.
  • pauline31919
    pauline31919 ibiza1977

    Posted

    Oh dear, you poor thing, I feel so very sorry for you as you are so afraid.  Your gp shouldn't say you'll always have it, it is controllable trust me.  Please try the bisoprolol, honestly you will get better and may not get side effects.  I think the main problem is tiredness.  I had my first episode out of the blue in Spain on holiday.  That was terrifying.  Bisoprolol put my b.p right and lowered my heart rate, which is what it will do for you.  Please trust me, you will get better and able to continue your life as before.  You must be strong being a karate champion, so come on, be strong again, get help, you are too young to give up.  Let us all know how you are as we all feel concerned for you.  I hope you've got family to support you.  Heartfelt good wishes to you. 
    • ibiza1977
      ibiza1977 pauline31919

      Posted

      A BIG THANK YOU TO ALL OF TOU WHO REPLIED AND WERE SO WONDERFULLY SUPPORTIVE!!! 

      I know Ive let it control my life but I just cant stop it! I dream Im running and jumping and when I wake up I feel so utterly miserable and start crying and my poor partner sees that every morning he leaves at 5am instead of the  happy cheeky woman I was. I miss pLAYING with my girls (11&13) and feel so sad for them. Our dream is to move to Ibiza but as it happens I have an irrational fear of flying too - imagine having palps as well as that! Id rather take a alow boat. Ive only ever had two attacks of my heart going up to 180-200bpm about 9 months apart. Since the second attack the palps have trebled! In between i have had two blood transfusions 5 months apart for severe anaemia. Id been feeling ill for a year or so but couldnt say what if that makes sense, then i couldnt walk or even stand up so the gp said i had a chest infection and did  a blood test. My HB WAS JUST UNDER 5 so it's amazing I made it that far!  Its like ive got PTSD - im terrified every little blip or flap/ flutter bonk or lurch is going to set those awful fast attacks off. I was offered flacanaide but a gp told me they can cause fatal arythmias so I never took them. The bisop makes me breathless and the palps laughin its face and still carry on. Redlux makes them worse so ive lost two stone as Im petrified to eat. 

      Palps started in my 20s but far and few apart so i disnt feel like this although they scared the poop out of me. Im just afraid irl keel over dead. Its just a terrible fear. I see old men jogging and cry as I think " why cant that be me!" 

      You all know how it makes you feel. 

      I haven't answered you all individually and I apologise but THANK YOU AGAIN.  I can have a day i feel normal n no palps then they come from nowhere with no pattern or triggers. Ive never drank n gave up the little i smoked 13 years ago. I buy valium online as it helps with the terror. If you can imagine a fun against your head and hearing that click just before its fired- the terror youd feel, well thats what mine make me feel like.  I am sorry for tou all- i call it a demon we are unlucky to have inside us. Id have ablation if my cardio suggesta it again as long as there re no risks irl die on the table. Id have my teeth ripped out and ears cut off if i thought it would stop them. Bless you all ..... Hugs to you all xxxxxxx  ❤️🌹❤️🌹

    • andree777
      andree777 ibiza1977

      Posted

      Hello,

      I know how hard it is seeing other people older than you doing things you wish you were able to enjoy. You too will be able to do those things again!

      Your palpitations aren't life threatening although I know they feel fearful. AF is more common than what you think. I used to have loads of palpitations until I was put on antenol and aspirin, now they slow my heart rate down permanently. I have to admit myself to hospital 6 mthy or have my husband take me there when my heart goes into AF n beats at over 180 per min n has been doing that for well over 2 hrs before I go to hospital. It feels like my heart is trying to jump out of my chest. The hospital monitors me for a day n often takes at least 12 hrs to get back to normal rhythm, but I'm still here. I also have lots of other conditions that stop me from doing things I would like n there are loads of things I can't eat n can't drink coffee due to health issues, so I can only eat very boring bland food n constantly hear people talking about their spicy food n other foods they eat, which I can't, but I get by.

      You ought to try n go out for walks, put on your favorite music n enjoy yourself n enjoy time with your girls. By staying in bed is only making ur body weaker.

  • simon56380
    simon56380 ibiza1977

    Posted

    I'm sorry you feel like this.

    palps are not the end of the world, in fact looking back, I've had them for the last couple of decades and thought that they were a normal thing and just a part of life.

    " They come, they go", so no big deal thought.

    I do think though that they were warning signs that I needed to live a healthier, cleaner life.

    I ingnored these 'warning signs' and eventually things did become more serious (AF, tachycardia, cardiomyopathy, cardioversions, an recently an ablation). My own silly fault I guess!

    I think you need to talk/tell your GP how you are feeling as this is a real concern.

    Try to notice if there is any pattern or cause for your palpitations.?

    Good luck

     

    • ibiza1977
      ibiza1977 simon56380

      Posted

      Hello

      No pattern although eating even like a fluffy mousse starts them. Its as soon as i wake up a few mins after ive taken my pill. Maybe the bisoprolol stRts fhem off. By 11 am they may ease. If they do, bisop may not be good for me.

      I can scream, get in a rage etc n it diesnt set them off. I wish one of u lived near me- im alone in Cornwall which lives in the 80s. I think bisop stRted them off just now as ive been up most of the night googlin heart things n not had a blip at all. Took my pill n they started. And i may not reply to everyone personally but that doesn't mean ive ignored you. Xx i have to crunch my pills as i have ennarassingly- no bottom teeth n cant swallow pills! I told a gp about taking magnesium n he hit the roif n said its dangerous- its who to believe! 4 different cardios telling me 10 different things !

  • betty47298
    betty47298 ibiza1977

    Posted

    I think seeing a therapist might help to relieve your anxiety..perhaps medication to calm you down. I know what that kind of anxiety can do for you. It makes whatever is wrong even worse and keeps a person from functioning. I do not have those symptoms but have empathy for you especially the fear and anxiety. Try taking a trip to a peaceful place not far away to put your mind more at ease..It helps..
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