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That's for sure

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Itslife
Itslife

I just got my results in and I'm positive for genital herpes. I feel so gross, I don't even know how to even begin telling my partner about this. I know I'm going to start crying I'm a very emotional person. I feel like I'm going to get rejected by everyone now because is so easily transmitted. I don't even know who I could've gotten this from. None of my partners ever had any signs of this. 

If my boyfriend doesn't accept this obviously we wouldn't stay together and  my mom is very in my personal life and will want to know why we didn't work. I can't even begin to even think about telling my mom about this. She will be completely upset with me. 

I'm so completely devastated with myself. Im in complete hatred of myself. I don't even want to be around anyone anymore. I just want to curl up in my bed and cry. 

I don't know how I'm going to be okay with this. How will I ever be with someone and have kids if this can be transmitted skin to skin?! Won't my partner eventually get it? I would have to use a condom every single time I have sex.  I feel like marriage and having kids will be out of my life forever now. 

I just don't know how to tangle this. I don't handle things very well.

0 likes, 33 replies

33 Replies

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  • Itslife
    Itslife

    Posted

    I'm not going to be able to look at him without just breaking down crying! 

  • ashlyn26137
    ashlyn26137 Itslife

    Posted

    You're not gross you're still beautiful, it doesn't matter if they don't got signs they could still got it I don't have show signs to the public that I have it but still do I got symptoms that people don't notice and can be painful so someone isn't being honest with you or just don't know that they even have it, if you tell your mom I'm sure she won't be mad at you forever she will just be shocked my mom was in the doctors with me when I found out I had it she was shocked but she's not mad she's shocked that she can't even say the word herpes or virus when we talk about it I'm the one who has it and I think I'm better knowing that I have it then she is lol your mom will be shocked only cause she cares for you and loves you we all got our problems, now if you and your boyfriend break up might want to think about if you want a new one anytime soon or focus on yourself, I been focusing on myself a lot and that's how I remain happy I don't even want a boyfriend anytime soon just friends. I still got hope that they will find a cure for herpes.

    • Itslife
      Itslife ashlyn26137

      Posted

      If my boyfriend does not accept this I don't think I can ever come to terms with telling someone else. Let alone I don't know how I'm telling my boyfriend now. I'm gonna look at him and just crumble and cry. He'll know something is wrong and he's always been supportive but idk about this because it's putting him at risk well

  • YoureNotAlone
    YoureNotAlone Itslife

    Posted

    It is going to be ok! It is a very horrible feeling to endure indeed and i deeply understand your pain and frustration with concerns about having any future relationships what so ever but there is medication out there to keep it away for periods of time and will enable you and your partner to enjoy a happy sexual relationship as well as have healthy children during your non break out periods. Now that you have it, you must understand it instead of fear it because it will only make you a stronger person in the end. I really hope you take the time to sit down with your mother and have a serious conversation about your condition because it is not something that you should feel scared to talk about with anyone. It hurts very much and you should be able to express your emotions but in the end understand that everything will be ok. God bless.
    • Itslife
      Itslife YoureNotAlone

      Posted

      I don't know when or how I will ever have a sit down with my mother. We've already lost my step father 7 months ago and this will crumble her as well. I'm afraid she'll think I slept around (because where I'm from that's how you get it. I know it's not the 100% truth because I've read some others post)

      I don't want to sound negative but how do I have a healthy sexual life when you need to wear a condom because of this whole "shedding" thing. How do I have unprotected sex when I want to hav children?! I have read that as long as I don't have a outbreak my child won't get it and if I do I'll get a c-section. I'm more curious about my partner. Won't he get it once we have unprotected sex? 

      The doctor has my medicine waiting for me at the pharmacy. I am going to talk to my boyfriend some how and see his reaction, since he lives close to my job. This way if he doesn't I can just go home. Not go home then to him then back home. 

      I'm so deeply scared to tell him. 

      I'm trying to come to terms with it. 

    • YoureNotAlone
      YoureNotAlone Itslife

      Posted

      It is hard but you cant ignore the conversation because it is a part of your life now. You dont sound negative at all but as i mentioned already before there is medication treatments you can go through to plan a pregnancy and yes condoms are ultimately the best source of protection when it comes prevention of spreading the virus. If your boyfriend has not already contracted the virus he may or may not be ok with it, but again thats life and its hard to deal with but you will live on. If he is ok with having the virus then maybe things will work out but if not dont feel alone because there are groups and plenty of other people out there just like you who feel scared to date because of having to tell their future partner about having HSV2. You have done some research I see which is very good to understand how to keep it under control. I was horrified when i first found out that i had contracted it so please understand you are not alone and it will be ok!
    • Itslife
      Itslife YoureNotAlone

      Posted

      Just reading people's comments back make me cry. I feel like whatever I touch whoever I hug whoever I kiss will get it from me. I'm so afraid of someone getting this from me. They will blame me for this then. 

      What I haven't seen yet is, can I have another outbreak? Can I have more than one outbreak in a month? I already eat healthy and excerise a lot to begin with. 

      I do have a lot of stress on my plate the passed 7 months which won't go away anytime soon. I've read stress brings on the outbreaks. 

      The word gential herpes just sounds so bad to me. I can't help but feel gross sad

    • YoureNotAlone
      YoureNotAlone Itslife

      Posted

      You can not spread HSV2 from hugging or kissing or shaking hands.. The only way you can spread is if you are shedding and have an ourbreak or infection of ulsers which doesnt really happen unless you are REALLY dirty and dont clean yourself... My partner uses a removeable shower head to really clean down there and makes sure to use proper skin lotions to keep her skin dry and healthy.. It is also important to try to reduce your stress levels as much as possible so even tho you are new to all of this.. stressing about it will possibly make your outbreaks worst... If you live in a hot and humid area i suggest baggy clothing and keep a breeze between your legs because moisture and heat cause your outbreaks to rapidly grow and spread..

      If you keep up with your body you can go possibly years with out having an outbreak but that all depends on your body which is different than mine... Drinking herbal calming teas can help with preventing outbreaks and help relieve stress... 

    • Itslife
      Itslife YoureNotAlone

      Posted

      So even though I'm having an outbreak right this minute if I kiss my boyfriend he can't get it. I'm only asking because I've read skin to skin it can be transmitted which gets my confused. 

      Can you possibly explain this shedding stage? I've tried to look into it but I can't find anywhere that does into detail. I've learned how to tell if you're having an outbreak or the begging ... like itchy tingling and so on I understand that but not the shedding part. 

    • YoureNotAlone
      YoureNotAlone Itslife

      Posted

      You already have been diagnosed with HSV2 by your doctor so you CANT get HSV1... HSV1 only likes the mouth... HSV2 likes the genitals... so if you have HSV2 then you cant give him HSV1 because you dont have it...

      Shedding is HIGHLY contageous but only if you expose your genitals..

      It looks like dry flakey alligator skin and you will itch alot... dont itch because it will get in your fingernails and use healing ointment on the dry skin.. petroleum jelly works good too but not alot because you wanna keep it dry mostly but not suppppeeeerrrr dry.

      Shedding is the virus replicating new HSV2 skin cells on the surface of your genitals to help spread itself to other hosts... If you are shedding then sex is not recommended..

    • Itslife
      Itslife YoureNotAlone

      Posted

      I can only use Cerave lotion on my body. I am allergic to many different lotions. Everything has to be unscented in order for me to use. I hope that works. Is there a special lotion? And can you shed at anytime? 

    • YoureNotAlone
      YoureNotAlone Itslife

      Posted

      Yes, If you are not on antiviral treatment to control the shedding then it can be "random" but ive noticed mine to be around when im more stressed out. Reducing stress and staying clean will help you keep down outbreaks but the shedding is something you will have to keep medicated if your with a non infected partner or plan child birth.

    • Itslife
      Itslife YoureNotAlone

      Posted

      My partner even said "I hope I do have it, makes it easier" but we figured why pay for a test when it's not going to be 100% accurate, when we can see if he will have an outbreak one day. 

      It sounds weird but I'm more afraid on not knowing when I'm shedding. How do you know? 

    • YoureNotAlone
      YoureNotAlone Itslife

      Posted

      Your skin will look dry or flakey.. I think it kind of looks like the glaze from a donut, a little frosted looking on the surface of the skin. It itches also so that will be another sign. Mostly feels Dry and Itchy.

      Google images will help you know what to look out for..

    • Itslife
      Itslife YoureNotAlone

      Posted

      Definitely going to have to look it up and search images. I thought I had a uti but needless to say it was the beginning of a outbreak that I had no idea of. 

      I find it crazy that there is no "cure" for herpes yet. I mean yes very so maybe in the future, I'm just still shocked. 

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