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The answer to how long this recovery will take!!!!!

Posted , 14 users are following.

rose0000
rose0000

I have been at my absolute wits end trying to hurry this recovery along, why is it taking so long simply to get to the loo, why is it taking so long to simply move my leg, why on earth can I not walk far without pain....and so the list went on and on and on....

In hindsight, at the grand age of five months post op I can see EXACTLY why I rushed my recovery, why I was so impatient to be better, why I was constantly measuring myself against everyone and anyone else.

I was terrified I would not get better, I was terrified quietly that I would never walk, never rid myself of the pain, limp or both.....deep inside I was scared I would be forever disabled.

Looking back this fear must be completely natural and happens to the best of us, but actually five months on I WISH I had been more gentle, more patient, less worried and spent my time resting, relaxing and taking my time with the process. It is the most natural thing in the world to want to be better of course, but please everyone have some confidence that you WILL get there, all time frames are different, all journeys vary slightly - be gentle with yourself, when you feel better make the most of the time off (no one gives a damn three months in trust me) Enjoy the time with your loved ones and family and be reassured you would know about it if something was wrong....so rest, relax, exercise, take care and be patient. It is all okay. You will get there, you really will....

15 likes, 53 replies

53 Replies

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  • montyjam
    montyjam rose0000

    Posted

    Reading about all of your experiences has helped me to tamp down my expectations for my own recovery. A lot of my friends, family and even my husband are guilty of saying, "Don't worry. You've got this. You will be dancing again or running marathons soon!" I know they think they are being helpful but they're not.

    I have had to politely tell all of them to dial it back for my own sake. I do not want to push myself to the point where I damage the joint or screw up my recovery. I am capable of very hard physical workouts but this is simply not the time. This is a time for rest, healing and restraint. You need to learn to listen to your body, to be in tune with what it needs. I am good at that.

    So until my surgeon gives me the all clear, I will be doing EXACTLY as she commands. She is the boss of me right now, with all her many years of experience. I will not let my ego take me to a place where I could risk everything. She judged me as competent to have a full, healthy recovery and I will not let either of us down.

    • renee01952
      renee01952 montyjam

      Posted

      Hi JAM, 

      Exactly - they mean well and would love to see you jump over fences and dancing - 

      cheesygrin on ego and pleasing others !!!  keep listening to your body -

      big warm hug

      renee

       

    • patricia_63418
      patricia_63418 montyjam

      Posted

      Greetings ftom Cape Town! It is so nice to read these comments, very reassuring as it is 3 weeks today that I had the bad fall and 3 weeks tmrw that I had the left THR. Of course, I could not even prepare myself mentally as it just happened. Thank goodness I do not live on my own and my husband can help. I am a strong person mentally but have I 2 crying sessions - not used to someone else doing for me and having to ask! It is going to take longer than I thought. Had a couple of terrible spasms which have madey leg ache (which the good doctor did not warn me about) so I thought something was wrong but now I know others have had I don'the feel so alone. It has madey leg ache. Also, I had physio last week which I know you have to have but sometimes wonder if it is not to soon. I know exercise is good and my GP, who is excellent, has told me that walking is the best therapy! I am taking the pain killers every 6 hours and I am going to ask my GP if he will give me some anti-inflammatory es which also help.....The surgeon would not give meore (don'the know why). My left knee, which is normally ok, is taking a bit of strain. I know it will all come right, going to take longer than I thought. Thanks to everyone - this is a wonderful support group.
    • rose0000
      rose0000 montyjam

      Posted

      You have got this Jam, seriously your mindset is perfect. 

      Better to lower your expectations, and those of others now, and then if you are having a brilliant recovery it will be a bonus and not the other way around....it can be crushing to feel you are doing badly, particularly as you sound so active and full of life.

      I have no doubt you will be doing more than you ever did, but you have to wait and it is really worth it. I am just getting back up to speed now, but learnt just to take a step back.

      My brother ripped two muscles after his THP so he has made me really think how careful we need to be, he now needs surgery. So rushing is the very last thing you need to be doing.

      This time will be one of healing and a gentle recovery. You have whole life to enjoy your hip when it is solid as a rock - which it will be, mine feels bullet proof, I started running down the stairs again without thinking, just like I did years ago!!! Oh what a feeling to feel carefree again Jam!!

      Small things, but so lovely! 

      You are going to be great with your attitude and commitment. 

    • rose0000
      rose0000 patricia_63418

      Posted

      Patricia, what a terrible shock to end up with a THP from a fall. I always marvel at how you manage that mentally.

      The rest of us had build up, time to prepare etc, but you were straight in the thick of it from the word go!

      I hope this forum has helped you with any questions or information needed, have you got help from your husband for as long as you need? 

      I am not surprised you are crying, you poor thing, the shock alone must be tremendous. It will get easier. I cried so much in the early weeks, but as I got better and things got easier so my moods lifted. 

      Big hugs to you, you are one brave lady.

  • Fernlady
    Fernlady rose0000

    Posted

    Hi Rose, I'm so glad you wrote this as I'm now only 3 weeks away from my surgery & met a lady yesterday who totally 'threw' me. I was in a queue at Morrisons & got talking to a lady who was on 1 crutch. She'd had THR last Tuesday (10th) evening, home on Thursday & down to 1 crutch shopping with her husband (she was 68). All the time I was talking to her I just kept thinking how marvellous she was but when I got home & relayed the conversation to my husband, the first thing he said was 'but she might be in real pain tomorrow & wished she'd not been out'. I thought about this & maybe he's right - if you're feeling relatively OK, would you push yourself so soon after only 4 days post-op? I hope I get the chance to see her again but your post just reinforces that we are all different. Big hugs x
    • renee01952
      renee01952 Fernlady

      Posted

      Hi Fernlady, 

      What a wonderful husband you have !!!  good for that lady that she is already out and shopping at 4 days post-op !!!  that's it - maybe she just wanted to lessen your fear about it ... 

      I believe we do that - push ourselves when feeling better - that is why we think we fall back, are disappointed, getting depressed etc. 

      your body will let you know when you overdid it ... trust her !!!

      when is your surgery date?  

      all is well, darling

      big warm hug

      renee

       

    • Fernlady
      Fernlady renee01952

      Posted

      Thanks Renee, my husband is fab & I know he will try his best when I'm done. 8th June is my date & it can't come quick enough now. With the help & words of wisdom from everyone on this forum (& Graham's site which, incidentally, I use daily like a dictionary) I am totally focused now. I'm not saying that on the day I won't be nervous but I'm not scared like I was before. How are you doing? X
    • lors23
      lors23 renee01952

      Posted

      Another thing l agree with renee you hear on here of some people recovering in a week and l think to myself how does that happen. Deep inside these people are maybe ok after a week then not ok for a time we are all diffrent but l don't beeleive people are truely pain free after a week. Maybe they actually think that they are becauseof the medication or maybe l am wrong but l know we all heal diffrently some faster than others but l have 2 thr's and they have both been completly diffrent when healing but never after a week have l been pain free. I am 12 weeks and still suffer at times as l should have said earlier but spelt it wrong. I am not recovered but l am recovering. At my own pace and thats all l can do. Renee you are brilliant as per ususl.

      Love

      Laura xx

    • rose0000
      rose0000 Fernlady

      Posted

      Fern be careful too, that some people have resurfacing or partial replacements, which really is not the same thing at all. I found that out during my time with all of these super sonic recoveries were not from the same surgery when you ask more questions!! I have no doubt some people do have miracle recoveries, I don't think they happen to the majority. 

      Also often people on their second replacements might be a little more confident without so much support, as they know what to expect. Either way your journey is entirely yours, don't compare, it leads to misery.

      Some may think of it as a race, others are desperate to get better, some have demanding lives that is pressuring them and some people are just out of it on morphine!! Possibly high as a kite and can not feel anything much less her hip! We all do it differently....but the main thing is we care for one another on here, and we all get through it together. 

      We will be here for you when the time comes, and you can tell us about your cartwheels at 6 days post op smile or not, either way we are here to support you

    • Fernlady
      Fernlady rose0000

      Posted

      Thank you Rose, its so kind of complete strangers to be so supportive. We're off on holiday next Friday for a week & then when we get back I'll have 2 days back at work & then I'll be in the hippie club! I'm so looking forward to my OP. I know that must sound a bit bizarre but I really need to be rid of the OA pain now. Each day, reading all of the different stories on this forum has made me mentally stronger - I was in total denial 18 months ago but I'm totally in 'the zone' now. I have no plans to be shopping in Morrisons or anywhere else for that matter! I understand the first couple of weeks will be the toughest & I plan on doing everything I'm told. I have a small goal to aim towards which is my friends wedding at 7 weeks post-op & I've told my boss he won't see me for at least 12 weeks! X
    • rose0000
      rose0000 Fernlady

      Posted

      You sound ready. You can relax on holiday and after that you will be completely ready to get yourself fixed. I wish I had known that it was not as bad as I thought it would be. Yes the first two weeks are tough, but it gets so much better very quickly. The body is an amazing thing! Healing you around the clock, and any pain will be because you are getting better and not worse. 
    • rose0000
      rose0000

      Posted

      By the way - I was in a lot less pain post op thats for sure. I went from morphine patches to get me through the day pre op to paracetamol post op. That says it all really.
  • Rocketman_SG6UK
    Rocketman_SG6UK rose0000

    Posted

    So true Rose.    We do all seem to get there - eventually.  Some take a bit longer, some quicker.

    As you say, enjoy the time you have with loved ones, and relax.

    Graham - 🚀💃

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