The eve of the start of being codeine free

Matt is know how you feel wen you say you can't tell anyone it's like it's our guilty secret I was exactly like you but honestly if you can push yourself to keep going it will be so worth it if at the time of my addiction if they had said right you can either follow a taper plan or cold turkey yes it will be hard but day by day you will eventually get better instead of sticking me on a stupid amount of subutex for 11 years I just so wish I had gone cold turkey as it would have all been over now instead I'm 47 and still battling to get off the subutex which is horrendous please try and stay strong and keep going with the cold turkey you so don't want to end up like me plse contact me if you need support with this I will help all I can xx

It really is a terrible situation your in but at least you have a supportive doctor in my experience a taper plan is the best way to go using a slow release opiate I wish this is what I had done instead of being placed on subutex and being stuck on this for 11 years .Do you really want to be stuck on methadone for years have to go to the chemist every day for your dose then drop from methadone to subutex for years if you can get a GP to taper you down you can recover from this hellish addiction so much quicker than if you were placed on methadone and the detox of this is much much worse than the detox of codeine. I wish you all the best with your recovery and just speaking from my bitter experience as regards to the suggestion of talking therapy that is utter nonsense keep fighting

Hi tez

Thank you for your reply. I almost agreed to methadone as the first person I spoke to pitched it as the only way to stabilize myself. I asked for time to think, did some research. I decided that this was extreme, like swapping one drug for another one. A one that seems far worse from the posts I've read. It was a different person who I saw at my assessment, and he agreed that I didn't need it. As.. his words not mine..... ' your not the same as the other addicts we treat'.

To me, addiction is addiction despite the drug of choice. It controls me and seriously damages my quality of life. But there seems to be no help for me because I have mutually agreed that methadone isn't needed. There really needs to be treatment available for all kinds of addiction.

How are you feeling today? When you say your at doing a home detox, are you doing this alone? How are you preparing? Xxxxx

Your so right addiction is addiction whatever and it's a illness and we should be treated the same as everyone else with a illness but we are not.so what is the plan for you now ideally a taper plan with a slow release opiate or a home detox with lofexidine should be offered to you that way you wouldn't be getting into the methadone trap they also do a much quicker taper plan over 39 days with the subutex now how I wish I'd known that 11 years ago I think subutex is OK for that short time but trying to get off it after years is horrendous. My home detox starts 5th June I've been told to stock up wI think shopping have long baths etc I kinda know what to expect as the last 2 wasn't so bad but were in hospital so felt a lot more safe as fainted a few times as lofexidine lowers your blood pressure this time I will be just at home with my 13 year old son and a nurse calling in everyday it's very daunting but it's the after wards I'm more scared about the terrible effects done to your brain whilst on this tablet what I'm more worried about it really is the worse thing I've been through and never come out the other side some days you can't hardly mutter a word it's so hard to explain and the scary thing is new research is coming out all the time on the long term effects of being on subutex and it's not good. I'm going to do my best I have too. .let me know how you get on the best support you can get is from people battling the same battle not a so called drug worker with their head straight out of a text book take care xx

Sorry to butt in Nic but, you have been very badly let down, as I was, I had nowhere to turn.

Originally I was told by the drugs & alcohol service that I saw, that they wouldn't treat me unless I was a Heroin addict.

I remember saying to him at the time: "So, if I go & get addicted to Heroin then you will treat me"!!!

It wasn't until I spoke to a lady at the drug charity "Release" and they got involved that they agreed to treat me.

Let me tell you from someone who has & is still on methadone. People think it gets you high or gives you a buzz, it doesn't!!

I was initially put on 115mils of methadone & I honestly, I promise you I felt I could've taken twice the amount & I wouldn't have told any difference at all.

I am now on 50mils which I dropped down to off my own back because once I got to 90mils, I had to take 50 supervised at the pharmacy & bring 40 home with me to take later the same day, i kept forgetting to take it!!

I was told i was swapping one drug for another but, to me & I appreciate everyone is different, methadone was like drinking water.

It stopped my withdrawals after stopping the Oxycontin which is what it is designed to do So, it was the right thing for me.

As I told Tez Please contact Release, they will help you when nobody else wants to know!

Let me know if you need their number

Take care

Ritchie xx

My Gp has kiñd of left me in limbo at the moment while he waits for advice on what to do now. He's wrote to the team who have discharged me to say it's not acceptable to leave me like this. My prescriptions are now weekly in the hope that I won't be increasing my intake. I have no idea how long I will be waiting. I've been considering cold turkey but my mental health problems are hard enough to live with as they are. Today for example is a bad day. I can't bring myself to eat, just about dragged myself out of bed and I've been in tears three times already, for the simple reason that I just want to go back to bed, but I can't. I won't get getting dressed or going out today.

Your detox sounds scary, I think you are so brave even just giving it another go. I really hope it works out for you. Ì don't have much in the way of advice, but on good days I find focusing on life without this drug, and my little family are my motivation. I'm sure you already do this too xxxxxxx

Oh bless you i have many days like that I honestly know just how you feel I suffer from depression too and often want to hide away in bed I found the codeine helped my depression but needed more and more hence getting addicted the subutex stops the withdrawals but plays havoc with your appetite and you just seem to exist then when you come off it you feel like your going crazy I couldn't watch TV read a book leave the house hold a conversation just was broken and dreading going through it all again. I certainly don't think I'm brave I feel ashamed of getting in this mess in the first place I don't hardly have any friends as am always worried they might find out my secret all my son's friends have normal families I feel I've let him do so much so I'm definitely going to do my best but his going to have to watch his mum getc worse before better thankyou for your kind words I hope you get the help you need xx