THE Mind Blowing PTSD How Do You Gain The Trust & Communication Once They've Shut Down?

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I've been casually seeing someone  who is an NYPD Police Officer for, 6 years who happens to have PTSD.

Over  the last two months he has completely shut down . If I get two emojis from him twice a week then I'm lucky how do I get him to reopen and trust me once again so I can help him

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  • Posted

    I also went through a shut down for six months straight. Although I tried everything I could to get him to respond to me, he just wouldn’t. I had to let him decide when he felt comfortable enough to come back on his own. He finally did come back recently and I’m now being very casual with him. Absolutely no expectations what so ever. 
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  • Posted

    I'm sorry, I'm a Male, PTSD sufferer, I am now single, as my anger issues, and my flashbacks were just too much for myself, never mind me trying to explain to my ex-partners, but I tried but I always seemed to push them away, so I can't really help here, I am really lonely at times, and wish I had a partner/girlfriend still, but I know what happens after a while, I get comfortable and then my symptoms kick in , and that's it, relationships over again, So sorry, hope you get help off someone on here, I can understand how you feeling, I think.. Stephen

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  • Posted

    Stephen I believe you helped with your statement. That really explains the characteristics of a sufferer. I didn’t want to believe it could happen until I was faced with it. Now that my ex is back in my life, I will be cautious with him. Please understand that there is nothing we can do as supporters except suppport when we can and if we’re allowed.
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    • Posted

      Thanks for your kind words Bill, there is also TRUST issues, which are a big part of a couple's life, with one suffering PTSD, if the sufferer was say attacked, like myself, in later life, I sometimes have trust issues, as I don't seem to trust anyone, as I think I'm a victim now, and Anyone capable could attack me, So I have to be alert, and don't trust no-one, not even family , which has caused lots of problems, I know about this as I read as much as I can on my illness, A lot of it is in that little thing no-one can work out, or even see, its the MIND or Imagination, it rules, and ruins most of my life, as I've been attacked with machetes about 5 yrs ago which has totally messed me up, but I was already suffering from childhood abuse which causes me to have PTSD symptoms after 30 odd years, flashbacks, panic-stricken, anger issues, relationship issues, wanting to self harm, feeling like a victim Every day, not wanting to talk about actual details, it took me from age of 14 in 1984 to 2010 before I could even talk about anything as being a man, I was just too embarrassed to talk/say anything to anyone, and I've lived with The stuff in my head everyday, every night without fail, wondering why my girlfriend's leave me, having nightmares daily, daily flashbacks, I wish I talked years earlier, then in 2013 I got attacked with big machetes and ended up in Hospital for a week, hiding under the blankets, So my 3 yrs of talking from 2010 to being in Hospital in 2013 seemed like a waste, as I was,and still am worse than ever before, I think I have it bad, but I know there's people a lot worse off than me, I still think I'm going to be attacked every time I go out, I have a lot of triggers that set off different feelings, like flashbacks, or panic-stricken, or I get internal rages that last hours.

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  • Posted

    Stephen this is good for me to read as well. My ex suffered childhood sexual abuse and he’s now in his thirties and I can see him suffering sometimes.  He has opened up to me on occasion about his past. I never ask or try to seek information unless he’s willing to speak about it. He’s a very loving person and I now know when he’s not being symptomatic, but when he is, I don’t know what to expect. He said he had a lot of people in his ear and he was also faced with different challenges at the time he left ( Nov 2017). We have been speaking on phone and texting now for about a week. He said he missed me a great deal and doesn’t want that to ever happen again. I don’t expect much now; I’m just very positive and forgiving. I think that’s what’s needed with a ptsd relationship; however, I won’t be walked over or treated badly, so we’ll have that conversation as well. You definitely deserve to be loved by the right person who understands your needs.
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    • Posted

      I can understand a bit from both your sides, I think, as I pushed a good few ex- partners away myself, and also family, plus I also know as a man how hard it is to talk, about certain things, sometimes I can't all about it, only to well trusted and long time respected people I'd know, or sometimes the shame, guilt just stops me saying anything and puts me in a anger issue, So I hope you both get what yous want, I seen a psychologist, but after about 5-6 sessions I had to stop,as it was bringing up too much of my past, and I didn't think it was helping, just making me worse, So I don't know what else to say,

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  • Posted

    Thank you for your kind words. I do recommend continuing with the therapist; it definitely gets worse before it gets better. My ex doesn’t want to go to a therapist either, but if and when I can, I’m gonna recommend him to see one. I wish to you the very best.
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    • Posted

      Thanks Bill, yh I'd seen a psychologist for 5 sessions and after each one I was feeling very anxious, or either angry Every time and it'd last days, as she"psychologist" was bringing up stuff I wanted to forget, so I know that ""worse before it gets better""part, at the moment right now, I couldn't go and talk about my issues as I know i would be on a rampage afterwards, I just know, and I'm supposed to be on tablets that are helping me, no medication helps I think, I think I , myself, or whoever has to do something about there mind, imagination, I don't know how you would do that, but it's all in my head, and tablets might work for a week or two, then back to normal, anxious, angry, depressed, alert, self, So is there a tablet or something for my MIND, that stops it going to places I don't want it too.?? Cos I can't stop it, I wish I could, I'd probably still have my girlfriend, my family who I fell out with would talk to me, That's enough of ""woe, pity me,""" Sorry, for going on, I know your in a hard situation yourself dealing with your man, I'm just trying to let you know a bit, I think it probably affects everyone in different ways, So there's no 1 fix for all. Thanks Bill for listening and being nice

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    • Posted

      Thank You... To You and Yours as well... 

      Many Blessings...

      I just have a few questions please... Why wouldn't they go to see a Councilor? 

      In a lot of cases it's for their own safety 

      If that makes sense?

      Being in that situation is totally devastating...

      So therefore they really will definitely feel like -they do not have anyone  to be able to open up. to.

      So Technically - How do they get the proper treatment that's so vital if not  treated?

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    • Posted

      Check your melatonin levels... Better yet - I encourage who ever feels like that they may have PTSD and or they're for antics week had been diagnosed within PTSD -You must go to your regular PHD And request a blood test for every hormone... 🙏

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    • Posted

      I’m not sure of why my ex wouldn’t go to see a therapist, however, I don’t usually say much about him going because I know it’s a touchy subject. He said that they increase his anxiety medication which mean to me that he has seen someone. All I can do right now is be here for him when he needs me. 
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